ParentinHalf
@parentinhalf.bsky.social
I'm not sure how or when, but apparently I have two children and a nice life. Thankfully, our country's willful decline into autocracy removes any concern that things are going too well. 💙✌️
July 11, 2025 at 7:28 PM
"OH, LOTS" is not the answer you want to hear when you ask how many baby wipes your 4yo put down the toilet. 🤦♀️
January 22, 2025 at 11:44 PM
"OH, LOTS" is not the answer you want to hear when you ask how many baby wipes your 4yo put down the toilet. 🤦♀️
Gonna put this on my wall next to Desiderata. Thank you, @jeffreyaward.bsky.social
Here’s to clawing our way out, I guess. These are #SomeOfMyFavoriteWords.
January 19, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Gonna put this on my wall next to Desiderata. Thank you, @jeffreyaward.bsky.social
🤣 then 😬
Political Profile: Pete Hegseth
theonion.com/politic...
theonion.com/politic...
Political Profile: Pete Hegseth
Pete Hegseth, Trump’s pick to lead the Pentagon, has refused to withdraw his nomination amidst allegations of financial mismanagement and sexual misconduct. Here is what you need to know about the Defense Secretary nominee’s background. Marital Status: Third wife, 12th affair Military Rank: Goon Speaking Style: Eight drinks in Hairstyle: Speaking role in American Psycho […]
theonion.com
January 19, 2025 at 12:45 AM
🤣 then 😬
Paw Patrol has a technologically advanced tower, a submersible aircraft carrier, and unlimited air and sea vessels. It's basically S.H.I.E.L.D.
January 19, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Paw Patrol has a technologically advanced tower, a submersible aircraft carrier, and unlimited air and sea vessels. It's basically S.H.I.E.L.D.
Me: Do you want to go to the library?
4yo: (exasperated sigh) I really can't answer that right now... I just don't have a plan for that.
4yo: (exasperated sigh) I really can't answer that right now... I just don't have a plan for that.
January 13, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Me: Do you want to go to the library?
4yo: (exasperated sigh) I really can't answer that right now... I just don't have a plan for that.
4yo: (exasperated sigh) I really can't answer that right now... I just don't have a plan for that.
Compiling a list of phrases in-laws should never say. I'll start:
January 1, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Compiling a list of phrases in-laws should never say. I'll start:
Good morning, the clog is tubbed
January 1, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Good morning, the clog is tubbed
Still in an emotional hangover from a family fight, physically drained from illness, and mentally flattened from lack of sleep. Really hoping this is more indicative of what to leave behind in 2024 than what's ahead in 2025.
January 1, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Still in an emotional hangover from a family fight, physically drained from illness, and mentally flattened from lack of sleep. Really hoping this is more indicative of what to leave behind in 2024 than what's ahead in 2025.
Winter vacation always reassures me in my decision not to be a stay-at-home mom.
December 31, 2024 at 5:45 PM
Winter vacation always reassures me in my decision not to be a stay-at-home mom.
When I run the garbage disposal, I like to imagine all the things frustrating me falling into the hole and being ground into bits of sludge and washed away.
December 31, 2024 at 5:42 PM
When I run the garbage disposal, I like to imagine all the things frustrating me falling into the hole and being ground into bits of sludge and washed away.
My two-year-old has finally advanced from his original running joke (playing "is this a hat" with random objects) to a more elevated linguistic humor that involves replacing random words in song and converstion with "poop." Wheels on the Bus will never be the same.
December 30, 2024 at 11:51 PM
My two-year-old has finally advanced from his original running joke (playing "is this a hat" with random objects) to a more elevated linguistic humor that involves replacing random words in song and converstion with "poop." Wheels on the Bus will never be the same.
I'm glad the team at Nick Jr works so hard to write hundreds of shows so that my kids can chain watch the same 8 episodes.
#parenting
#parenting
December 30, 2024 at 4:11 PM
I'm glad the team at Nick Jr works so hard to write hundreds of shows so that my kids can chain watch the same 8 episodes.
#parenting
#parenting
December 30, 2024 at 4:10 PM
I just lost the game of "Play-Doh or poop."
December 28, 2024 at 12:34 AM
I just lost the game of "Play-Doh or poop."
Dear Daycare
If it takes your staff more time to paint, cut, and glue the craft than my kid actually spent contributing to it, please do not pretend it's my kid's artwork.
If it takes your staff more time to paint, cut, and glue the craft than my kid actually spent contributing to it, please do not pretend it's my kid's artwork.
December 27, 2024 at 2:19 AM
Dear Daycare
If it takes your staff more time to paint, cut, and glue the craft than my kid actually spent contributing to it, please do not pretend it's my kid's artwork.
If it takes your staff more time to paint, cut, and glue the craft than my kid actually spent contributing to it, please do not pretend it's my kid's artwork.
Unpacking from holiday visits is like being the most boring Santa, who just re-delivers things you already own but are now slightly more used up and placed not quite back where they belong but as close as you have the energy to deposit them.
December 27, 2024 at 1:35 AM
Unpacking from holiday visits is like being the most boring Santa, who just re-delivers things you already own but are now slightly more used up and placed not quite back where they belong but as close as you have the energy to deposit them.
Is there such a thing as anticipatory fatigue?
December 26, 2024 at 10:46 PM
Is there such a thing as anticipatory fatigue?
If anyone's asking, this is my favorite color.
Beautiful capture…..Mount Rainier National Park 🇺🇲
December 26, 2024 at 10:06 PM
If anyone's asking, this is my favorite color.
I suspect that Chuck E Cheese birthdays are secretly parenting tests like those featured in Heavy Rain. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_R...
Heavy Rain - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
December 26, 2024 at 8:53 PM
I suspect that Chuck E Cheese birthdays are secretly parenting tests like those featured in Heavy Rain. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_R...
It definitely does not bother me that the gift is Marvel but the wrapping paper is DC.
December 26, 2024 at 8:35 PM
It definitely does not bother me that the gift is Marvel but the wrapping paper is DC.