Jeff Abrazos
@nullpinter.bsky.social
Coder and fun haver. Expect a like from me if you’re succeeding, thriving, persisting, or just trying to do good
If you’re not a fireman or a professional baseball player and have a mustache, that’s just stolen valor
August 31, 2025 at 10:03 PM
If you’re not a fireman or a professional baseball player and have a mustache, that’s just stolen valor
I’d say my biggest weakness is thinking I can bring all of the grocery bags inside in one trip
Interviewer: um, and do you have a second biggest weakness?
Getting those little produce bags open
Interviewer: um, and do you have a second biggest weakness?
Getting those little produce bags open
March 22, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I’d say my biggest weakness is thinking I can bring all of the grocery bags inside in one trip
Interviewer: um, and do you have a second biggest weakness?
Getting those little produce bags open
Interviewer: um, and do you have a second biggest weakness?
Getting those little produce bags open
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
jesus: *takes the wheel*
the cheesemakers: sonofabitch
the cheesemakers: sonofabitch
March 13, 2025 at 4:24 PM
jesus: *takes the wheel*
the cheesemakers: sonofabitch
the cheesemakers: sonofabitch
A kitchen gift that is hand wash only? In the year 2025? Are you insane?
March 13, 2025 at 5:24 PM
A kitchen gift that is hand wash only? In the year 2025? Are you insane?
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
"I'd pick your brains if the picking weren’t so slim,” says Zombie Oscar Wilde, but it’s just indistinct zombie moans to my ear.
March 13, 2025 at 4:41 AM
"I'd pick your brains if the picking weren’t so slim,” says Zombie Oscar Wilde, but it’s just indistinct zombie moans to my ear.
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
My Phantom of the Opera mask origin story
March 13, 2025 at 5:51 AM
My Phantom of the Opera mask origin story
[Ice Cube voice] No barking from the doggles, no smoggle, mama cooked a dinner with no gobble, even got a Walmart cart with no wobble
March 13, 2025 at 1:22 PM
[Ice Cube voice] No barking from the doggles, no smoggle, mama cooked a dinner with no gobble, even got a Walmart cart with no wobble
They should let the guy who named the post hole digger name more stuff
March 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
They should let the guy who named the post hole digger name more stuff
‘I did like 100 burpees today.’
Don’t you have any respect for yourself?
Don’t you have any respect for yourself?
March 1, 2025 at 7:50 PM
‘I did like 100 burpees today.’
Don’t you have any respect for yourself?
Don’t you have any respect for yourself?
Typoed ‘just like I planed it,’ in the family group chat and they hit me with ‘ok, Osama Bin Laden.’
February 25, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Typoed ‘just like I planed it,’ in the family group chat and they hit me with ‘ok, Osama Bin Laden.’
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
Food critics are wild. Bro, why are you bullying spaghetti?
February 23, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Food critics are wild. Bro, why are you bullying spaghetti?
[when I hear Huey Lewis’ The Power of Love anywhere I go]
This place has a real Back to the Future vibe going for it
This place has a real Back to the Future vibe going for it
February 24, 2025 at 12:42 AM
[when I hear Huey Lewis’ The Power of Love anywhere I go]
This place has a real Back to the Future vibe going for it
This place has a real Back to the Future vibe going for it
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
damn jonathan taylor thomas save some first names for the rest of us
February 21, 2025 at 4:17 AM
damn jonathan taylor thomas save some first names for the rest of us
At least he’s working on something where he has relevant experience - dealing with Saudi Arabia.
Ah yes, focusing on the issues that impact regular Americans.
February 18, 2025 at 2:59 AM
At least he’s working on something where he has relevant experience - dealing with Saudi Arabia.
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
[football coach who is also a shampoo salesman giving a halftime speech]
It’s bad right now, like dirty hair, but that’s when we get in the goddamn shower and we LATHER. And what do we do after we lather? That’s right, we rinse! And after we rinse what do we do? That’s right we goddamn REPEAT!
It’s bad right now, like dirty hair, but that’s when we get in the goddamn shower and we LATHER. And what do we do after we lather? That’s right, we rinse! And after we rinse what do we do? That’s right we goddamn REPEAT!
February 17, 2025 at 1:23 PM
[football coach who is also a shampoo salesman giving a halftime speech]
It’s bad right now, like dirty hair, but that’s when we get in the goddamn shower and we LATHER. And what do we do after we lather? That’s right, we rinse! And after we rinse what do we do? That’s right we goddamn REPEAT!
It’s bad right now, like dirty hair, but that’s when we get in the goddamn shower and we LATHER. And what do we do after we lather? That’s right, we rinse! And after we rinse what do we do? That’s right we goddamn REPEAT!
Reposted by Jeff Abrazos
Coworker: " hows thats coffee"
Me *knowing full well its sunny D*: "good"
Me *knowing full well its sunny D*: "good"
February 17, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Coworker: " hows thats coffee"
Me *knowing full well its sunny D*: "good"
Me *knowing full well its sunny D*: "good"
The kids Jesus went to school with must have been ruthless with the yo mama jokes
February 16, 2025 at 9:44 PM
The kids Jesus went to school with must have been ruthless with the yo mama jokes
Unchecked free market capitalism is how we got salsa containers that won’t fit a tortilla chip
February 16, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Unchecked free market capitalism is how we got salsa containers that won’t fit a tortilla chip
I wish I loved anything as much as my grandfather loved driving out of state to save a dollar on gas
February 13, 2025 at 7:03 PM
I wish I loved anything as much as my grandfather loved driving out of state to save a dollar on gas
Atlas Pop and Locked
February 9, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Atlas Pop and Locked
Good news: you just remembered what you forgot to do this morning
Bad news: it was to put on deodorant
Bad news: it was to put on deodorant
February 7, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Good news: you just remembered what you forgot to do this morning
Bad news: it was to put on deodorant
Bad news: it was to put on deodorant
Anyone got that video (of Mitch McConnell falling down the stairs)?
February 5, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Anyone got that video (of Mitch McConnell falling down the stairs)?
Got kicked out of the grocery store when I put the shopping cart back I rammed it into the next shopping cart and moaned a little bit too loud
February 5, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Got kicked out of the grocery store when I put the shopping cart back I rammed it into the next shopping cart and moaned a little bit too loud
What if Narcissus just thought he had something stuck in his teeth?
February 2, 2025 at 3:22 PM
What if Narcissus just thought he had something stuck in his teeth?