Deimos
@musingsofdeimos.bsky.social
Intermittent musings on life, the universe, and everything à la irreverent and sometimes dark humor.
he/him
he/him
Pinned
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
He'd call it a success while the bodies of all the dead hostages lay in the background of his press conference.
He'd call it a success while the bodies of all the dead hostages lay in the background of his press conference.
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would get an escort to the airport where they have a waiting gulfstream set to fly to a non-extradition country.
The bad guys would get an escort to the airport where they have a waiting gulfstream set to fly to a non-extradition country.
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
November 10, 2025 at 4:53 AM
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
He'd call it a success while the bodies of all the dead hostages lay in the background of his press conference.
He'd call it a success while the bodies of all the dead hostages lay in the background of his press conference.
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would get an escort to the airport where they have a waiting gulfstream set to fly to a non-extradition country.
The bad guys would get an escort to the airport where they have a waiting gulfstream set to fly to a non-extradition country.
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
November 10, 2025 at 4:53 AM
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would get an escort to the airport where they have a waiting gulfstream set to fly to a non-extradition country.
The bad guys would get an escort to the airport where they have a waiting gulfstream set to fly to a non-extradition country.
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
November 10, 2025 at 4:49 AM
If Chuck Schumer were a hostage negotiator...
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
The bad guys would walk away with a suitcase full of unmarked bills.
Yeah, this is where the intrusive thoughts start to kick in. So it's probably best that I call it a night and step away from the internet unless I want to end up on a list.
November 10, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Yeah, this is where the intrusive thoughts start to kick in. So it's probably best that I call it a night and step away from the internet unless I want to end up on a list.
"...Voters, stressed and fucked over, awake in their beds, dreamed what Luigi would do in their stead..."
November 10, 2025 at 3:39 AM
"...Voters, stressed and fucked over, awake in their beds, dreamed what Luigi would do in their stead..."
There is danger to leaving people feeling like they've got nothing left to lose.
November 10, 2025 at 3:30 AM
There is danger to leaving people feeling like they've got nothing left to lose.
I don't usually spend my Sunday nights watching C-SPAN with rapt attention, but here we are.
November 10, 2025 at 2:06 AM
I don't usually spend my Sunday nights watching C-SPAN with rapt attention, but here we are.
ATTN, Wisconsin SNAP recipients:
Take the money and run, i.e. go grocery shopping and use all the funds right now.
Take the money and run, i.e. go grocery shopping and use all the funds right now.
Based on a new filing with the 1st Circuit by blue states describing operational chaos in the SNAP program caused by the extreme bad faith of the Trump Regime, you may want to spend SNAP money now (low confidence). If you are in Wisconsin, you should do so immediately (higher confidence)
New Court Filing: SNAP Chaos | Matthew Cortland
Get more from Matthew Cortland on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:35 PM
ATTN, Wisconsin SNAP recipients:
Take the money and run, i.e. go grocery shopping and use all the funds right now.
Take the money and run, i.e. go grocery shopping and use all the funds right now.
OMG! I randomly saw him again at Costco! He didn't see me right away, and so I tried to play it cool, going about my shopping. At one point, we were headed opposite directions down the same aisle and made eye contact. He recognized me right away and gave a smile and nod. 🫠 1/
In any case, gentlemanly and civic-minded Jules [I overheard as you were checking in], if you happen to see this, I thought you were cute, and your presence added a bit of a smile to my afternoon. Here's wishing you well. 🙂
9/end
9/end
November 1, 2025 at 11:11 PM
OMG! I randomly saw him again at Costco! He didn't see me right away, and so I tried to play it cool, going about my shopping. At one point, we were headed opposite directions down the same aisle and made eye contact. He recognized me right away and gave a smile and nod. 🫠 1/
I guess the moral of the story is that voting is sexy.
Also, be informed about and engaged in your local elections.
Also, be informed about and engaged in your local elections.
On my way to vote early, I hopped off the bus inly to find my path intersecting with a cute lad. As I went to cross the street, he was going the same way. Our paths ran parallel (I actually walked ahead because I didn't want to be some weirdo statnger walking right next to someone. 1/
November 1, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I guess the moral of the story is that voting is sexy.
Also, be informed about and engaged in your local elections.
Also, be informed about and engaged in your local elections.
On my way to vote early, I hopped off the bus inly to find my path intersecting with a cute lad. As I went to cross the street, he was going the same way. Our paths ran parallel (I actually walked ahead because I didn't want to be some weirdo statnger walking right next to someone. 1/
November 1, 2025 at 5:32 PM
On my way to vote early, I hopped off the bus inly to find my path intersecting with a cute lad. As I went to cross the street, he was going the same way. Our paths ran parallel (I actually walked ahead because I didn't want to be some weirdo statnger walking right next to someone. 1/
Reposted by Deimos
I firmly believe, with every single atom of my being, that instead of amplifying unreliable information that discourages helping, our focus as 42 million Americans face hunger must be on providing factual information that enables people to help.
www.patreon.com/posts/142285...
www.patreon.com/posts/142285...
How To Help People Who Rely On SNAP While Minimizing Risk To Their Benefits | Matthew Cortland
Get more from Matthew Cortland on Patreon
www.patreon.com
October 29, 2025 at 1:35 AM
I firmly believe, with every single atom of my being, that instead of amplifying unreliable information that discourages helping, our focus as 42 million Americans face hunger must be on providing factual information that enables people to help.
www.patreon.com/posts/142285...
www.patreon.com/posts/142285...
Reposted by Deimos
Reposted by Deimos
Early voting is happening in these states right now!!
New York
New Jersey
Connecticut
California
Virginia
Texas
Pennsylvania
New York
New Jersey
Connecticut
California
Virginia
Texas
Pennsylvania
October 27, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Early voting is happening in these states right now!!
New York
New Jersey
Connecticut
California
Virginia
Texas
Pennsylvania
New York
New Jersey
Connecticut
California
Virginia
Texas
Pennsylvania
Hi, call me Halifax.
October 20, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Hi, call me Halifax.
Reposted by Deimos
Incredibly informative and important read. Some might think budgets and appropriations are boring, but this stuff has significant implications.
Trump's mechanism to pay the troops during the shutdown is by far the most illegal budgetary action he's taken as POTUS, potentially setting the stage to break everything.
It's also needless because Congress would easily pass a troop pay bill if Johnson were willing to gavel in.
Long thread.
It's also needless because Congress would easily pass a troop pay bill if Johnson were willing to gavel in.
Long thread.
October 15, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Incredibly informative and important read. Some might think budgets and appropriations are boring, but this stuff has significant implications.
Reposted by Deimos
SCOOP: The State Department's new reorganization plan includes the opening of an "Office for Remigration," a term popularized by far right extremists and neo-Nazis in Europe. The office will coordinate directly with DHS "to advance the President’s immigration agenda."
My report:
My report:
State Department set to launch ‘Office of Remigration’
The concept of remigration has explicitly neo-Nazi roots and has been popularized in Europe.
www.thehandbasket.co
May 29, 2025 at 9:03 PM
SCOOP: The State Department's new reorganization plan includes the opening of an "Office for Remigration," a term popularized by far right extremists and neo-Nazis in Europe. The office will coordinate directly with DHS "to advance the President’s immigration agenda."
My report:
My report:
Some asshole sailor refuses to admit he's lost over 500 years ago, and for that, we get reduced bus service today. Fucking hell.
October 13, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Some asshole sailor refuses to admit he's lost over 500 years ago, and for that, we get reduced bus service today. Fucking hell.
Reposted by Deimos
very little of this is hard to understand if you let go of your priors with regard to what an American administration can do, and, instead, accept the reality that the Republic has fallen to Trump, an authoritarian, and his MAGA personality cult.
October 12, 2025 at 4:24 AM
very little of this is hard to understand if you let go of your priors with regard to what an American administration can do, and, instead, accept the reality that the Republic has fallen to Trump, an authoritarian, and his MAGA personality cult.
Reposted by Deimos
Extremely bad news if true (and unlikely this reporter would run with it if not). The MMWR has been the earliest warning bell for outbreaks since it announced the first US cases, in 1981, of what was later identified as AIDS.
This will be a grievous shock to what remains of US public health.
This will be a grievous shock to what remains of US public health.
BREAKING: Friday night massacre underway at CDC. Doznes of "disease detectives," high-level scientists, entire Washington staff and editors of the MMWR (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report) have all been RIFed and received the following notice:
October 11, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Extremely bad news if true (and unlikely this reporter would run with it if not). The MMWR has been the earliest warning bell for outbreaks since it announced the first US cases, in 1981, of what was later identified as AIDS.
This will be a grievous shock to what remains of US public health.
This will be a grievous shock to what remains of US public health.
Reposted by Deimos
Important information on what to do if you are a bystander to 🧊 kidnapping someone or another event where someone needs help (@tiktokce0)
October 11, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Important information on what to do if you are a bystander to 🧊 kidnapping someone or another event where someone needs help (@tiktokce0)
This reminds me of a meme I saw about an "cheating [i.e. adultry] offset," which was, itself, poking fun at the notion of carbon offsets. No offsets (or blood money) would be needed in any of those cases if people just didn't do the shitty thing in the first place.
LMAOOOOO
A bunch of comedians tried to make up for their participation in the Riyadh comedy festival by donating their pay to Human Rights Watch and Human rights Watch was like “nah bitch we don’t want your dirty blood money” 😂😂 I’m dying
A bunch of comedians tried to make up for their participation in the Riyadh comedy festival by donating their pay to Human Rights Watch and Human rights Watch was like “nah bitch we don’t want your dirty blood money” 😂😂 I’m dying
Human Rights Watch Doesn’t Want Any Riyadh Comedy Festival Money
Taking money from those who took money from Saudi Arabia would impact perception of the org’s independence.
www.vulture.com
October 10, 2025 at 12:51 PM
This reminds me of a meme I saw about an "cheating [i.e. adultry] offset," which was, itself, poking fun at the notion of carbon offsets. No offsets (or blood money) would be needed in any of those cases if people just didn't do the shitty thing in the first place.
Our allies should not have to worry about their economy getting wrecked because someone threw a tantrum over hurt feelings. It pissed me off that it's the case.
How about this? We tell him he won, and he can come get his prize. It's in the cellar, next to a cask of amontillado.
How about this? We tell him he won, and he can come get his prize. It's in the cellar, next to a cask of amontillado.
Norway braces for Trump’s reaction if he does not win Nobel peace prize
US president may impose tariffs, demand higher Nato contributions or even declare Norway an enemy, analyst says
www.theguardian.com
October 9, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Our allies should not have to worry about their economy getting wrecked because someone threw a tantrum over hurt feelings. It pissed me off that it's the case.
How about this? We tell him he won, and he can come get his prize. It's in the cellar, next to a cask of amontillado.
How about this? We tell him he won, and he can come get his prize. It's in the cellar, next to a cask of amontillado.
Uh, hey, @wmata.com, how does the Bus ETA system keep track of buses while they're running their routes?
That's actually a lead in to my real question. What can he done to make sure it's always working?
That's actually a lead in to my real question. What can he done to make sure it's always working?
October 8, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Uh, hey, @wmata.com, how does the Bus ETA system keep track of buses while they're running their routes?
That's actually a lead in to my real question. What can he done to make sure it's always working?
That's actually a lead in to my real question. What can he done to make sure it's always working?