Jake; Connection Established
@mrjake.bsky.social
You don’t know who I am, and that’s ok.
Pinned
Standing in the boarding line, and some woman just said “it’s all Olive Garden”
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Today my Maryland accent came out so bad, my family gawked at me.
November 22, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Today my Maryland accent came out so bad, my family gawked at me.
Working on a clients work flow, and the prompt that plays says “Pleaes listen carefully as our menu has changed.”
The prompts name is “New_Menu_2018.wav”
The prompts name is “New_Menu_2018.wav”
November 17, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Working on a clients work flow, and the prompt that plays says “Pleaes listen carefully as our menu has changed.”
The prompts name is “New_Menu_2018.wav”
The prompts name is “New_Menu_2018.wav”
I loved my grandma, but she was racist as fuck.
November 15, 2025 at 1:23 AM
I loved my grandma, but she was racist as fuck.
I finally stopped saying tallest dwarf, and went with tallest Smurf. Somehow that’s funnier.
November 13, 2025 at 5:57 PM
I finally stopped saying tallest dwarf, and went with tallest Smurf. Somehow that’s funnier.
Welp, I can’t cross the picket line.
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Welp, I can’t cross the picket line.
When I beta tested Unreal Multiplayer, my player name was Ted Knight, and my partner was Cosmic Cow.
The leader tester was not amused
The leader tester was not amused
November 13, 2025 at 2:23 AM
When I beta tested Unreal Multiplayer, my player name was Ted Knight, and my partner was Cosmic Cow.
The leader tester was not amused
The leader tester was not amused
There is hell🔥
Then there is Super Hell🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Then ther is I 35 road construction in Waco hell 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧🔥
Then there is Super Hell🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Then ther is I 35 road construction in Waco hell 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧🔥
November 12, 2025 at 3:24 AM
There is hell🔥
Then there is Super Hell🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Then ther is I 35 road construction in Waco hell 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧🔥
Then there is Super Hell🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Then ther is I 35 road construction in Waco hell 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧 🔥🚧🔥
My kiddo went from reading Hail Mary to Snow Crash.
“Hey dad, what’s a pizza mafia?” at 645 in the morning.
I’m both proud and frustrated, mostly because I had just woken up.
“Hey dad, what’s a pizza mafia?” at 645 in the morning.
I’m both proud and frustrated, mostly because I had just woken up.
November 5, 2025 at 10:02 PM
My kiddo went from reading Hail Mary to Snow Crash.
“Hey dad, what’s a pizza mafia?” at 645 in the morning.
I’m both proud and frustrated, mostly because I had just woken up.
“Hey dad, what’s a pizza mafia?” at 645 in the morning.
I’m both proud and frustrated, mostly because I had just woken up.
Sometimes there is an image that is so perfect…..
November 5, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Sometimes there is an image that is so perfect…..
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars", "Star Trek", "Doctor Who", or "Transformers".
November 5, 2025 at 5:57 PM
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn't from "Star Wars", "Star Trek", "Doctor Who", or "Transformers".
My wife looking at my fire ant bites that have become like super red and angry.
“Your body doesn’t know how to react to fire ants”
I grew up in part of the country were ants tried to take your food, not murder you, and then take your food.
“Your body doesn’t know how to react to fire ants”
I grew up in part of the country were ants tried to take your food, not murder you, and then take your food.
November 5, 2025 at 5:52 PM
My wife looking at my fire ant bites that have become like super red and angry.
“Your body doesn’t know how to react to fire ants”
I grew up in part of the country were ants tried to take your food, not murder you, and then take your food.
“Your body doesn’t know how to react to fire ants”
I grew up in part of the country were ants tried to take your food, not murder you, and then take your food.
Working with zero brain cells today
October 26, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Working with zero brain cells today
RIP Wild World/Adventure World/Six Flags America.
Thank you for letting scared kid from Bowie run the busiest food stand in the park, and let me exposed to the craziness of Sunday afternoon crowds in the DMV.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Thank you for letting scared kid from Bowie run the busiest food stand in the park, and let me exposed to the craziness of Sunday afternoon crowds in the DMV.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Maryland's Six Flags America closing after economic roller coaster sends it off the tracks
As the decades-old amusement park shutters in Maryland, fans near and far mourn the end of affordable fun.
www.nbcnews.com
October 24, 2025 at 6:44 PM
RIP Wild World/Adventure World/Six Flags America.
Thank you for letting scared kid from Bowie run the busiest food stand in the park, and let me exposed to the craziness of Sunday afternoon crowds in the DMV.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Thank you for letting scared kid from Bowie run the busiest food stand in the park, and let me exposed to the craziness of Sunday afternoon crowds in the DMV.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Thievery Corporation - Stargazer [Official Audio]
YouTube video by Thievery Corporation
youtu.be
October 23, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Hold me closer
October 21, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Hold me closer
Went to chipotle for lunch, and I guess a high school was stopping by for lunch.
Why were all the guys dressed like kids when I was in high school? Like true kids from the Eastern Shore of Maryland, with Ducks Unlimited and other hunting t-shirts.
At least they weren’t Big Johnson shirts.
Why were all the guys dressed like kids when I was in high school? Like true kids from the Eastern Shore of Maryland, with Ducks Unlimited and other hunting t-shirts.
At least they weren’t Big Johnson shirts.
October 20, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Went to chipotle for lunch, and I guess a high school was stopping by for lunch.
Why were all the guys dressed like kids when I was in high school? Like true kids from the Eastern Shore of Maryland, with Ducks Unlimited and other hunting t-shirts.
At least they weren’t Big Johnson shirts.
Why were all the guys dressed like kids when I was in high school? Like true kids from the Eastern Shore of Maryland, with Ducks Unlimited and other hunting t-shirts.
At least they weren’t Big Johnson shirts.
*Stares in virtual machine images*
October 20, 2025 at 5:10 PM
*Stares in virtual machine images*
If you see this, QRT with a .gif to advertise your BSKY account…
October 20, 2025 at 1:20 AM
If you see this, QRT with a .gif to advertise your BSKY account…
So, not a good Sunday for DC sports fans.
October 20, 2025 at 12:51 AM
So, not a good Sunday for DC sports fans.
I just quoted Captain Power this morning.
So yeah.
So yeah.
a group of men in military uniforms are walking through a foggy room
ALT: a group of men in military uniforms are walking through a foggy room
media.tenor.com
October 19, 2025 at 3:15 PM
I just quoted Captain Power this morning.
So yeah.
So yeah.
These live rent free in my head.
October 17, 2025 at 4:02 PM
These live rent free in my head.
Oh I guess new people are coming?
Here how the cycle seems to work.
Everyone is excited—>You follow random people, starter packs—>assume Twitter was better—>Uninstall the app—>Come back a month later—>Realize it’s not twitter, but in a good way—>build your feed—>Chill—>Forget you have an account
Here how the cycle seems to work.
Everyone is excited—>You follow random people, starter packs—>assume Twitter was better—>Uninstall the app—>Come back a month later—>Realize it’s not twitter, but in a good way—>build your feed—>Chill—>Forget you have an account
October 16, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Oh I guess new people are coming?
Here how the cycle seems to work.
Everyone is excited—>You follow random people, starter packs—>assume Twitter was better—>Uninstall the app—>Come back a month later—>Realize it’s not twitter, but in a good way—>build your feed—>Chill—>Forget you have an account
Here how the cycle seems to work.
Everyone is excited—>You follow random people, starter packs—>assume Twitter was better—>Uninstall the app—>Come back a month later—>Realize it’s not twitter, but in a good way—>build your feed—>Chill—>Forget you have an account
Hockey, Hockey never changes.
And I hope the sweaters look like vault jump suits, and I would unironically get one that says 76.
And I hope the sweaters look like vault jump suits, and I would unironically get one that says 76.
We are just over a week from Fallout Night on Saturday, October 25 at 7pm! In partnership with @bethesdastudios.com, the night features cosplayers—including vault dwellers & raiders—concessions, activities, photo ops, and more! ⚡
Get your tickets now at bit.ly/TXS2025 or call 512.GOSTARS!
Get your tickets now at bit.ly/TXS2025 or call 512.GOSTARS!
October 16, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Hockey, Hockey never changes.
And I hope the sweaters look like vault jump suits, and I would unironically get one that says 76.
And I hope the sweaters look like vault jump suits, and I would unironically get one that says 76.
Gen X’s Paul Lynde.
October 15, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Gen X’s Paul Lynde.