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mattcohen.bsky.social
Matt Cohen
@mattcohen.bsky.social
1.1K followers 520 following 1.8K posts
Eisner Award nominee for "The Ghastlygun Tinies." Writes for MAD Magazine, The American Bystander, and The New Yorker. Created the hit card game Too Many Monkeys. Working on books for YOU. Profile pic by Dave Berg. He/Him
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mattcohen.bsky.social
Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · Mar 11
It's exhausting watching people tell themselves that their intolerance is actually a virtue.
mattcohen.bsky.social
Nice was to launch their new slogan -- CBS News: Big Problems Here.
atrupar.com Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 11h
Tony Dokoupil's CBS Evening News debut got off to a tough start ...
January 6, 2026 at 5:11 AM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
mattcohen.bsky.social
When you play a game for the first time, you'll quickly realize how your actions will influence other players... and how their actions will impact you.

That's called strategy.

Trump has never understood strategy or consequences. In his head, his first turn is the victorious end of the game.
This is the popular board game Ticket To Ride. This is a game called Azul. Sometimes other players will mess up your plans because they have plans of their own. That concept is beyond the grasp of the President. This is the delightful game Everdell. The President can't even process the idea of experiencing joy or the idea of having fun, let alone strategy. The strategy involved would be beyond his comprehension. Jungo is a wonderful game for young and old players. The strategy involved is simple enough for an eight year old to quickly learn... but I'd bet all of the money in the world the President couldn't handle any of it. He'd be perplexed that other players are taking the cards he wants instead of surrendering and declaring him the smartest and strongest player to ever play a game.
January 3, 2026 at 5:27 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
If you're still writing 2025 instead of 2026, don't feel bad; Microsoft is still turning January 2nd into a fraction.
January 5, 2026 at 10:27 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
My new profile pic is from an old issue of MAD Magazine where I popped up in Dave Berg's "The Lighter Side Of..."
This Dave Berg strip is from MAD Magazine issue 316. In the strip, Nick Meglin and John Ficarra are talking to Charlie Kadau. Nick say "Charlie, the reason we didn't give you a promotion is because you're so indecisive." John adds "Do you disagree?" Charlie responds "Well, yes and no..." In the background, other staffers (and I) watch the discussion. We really ought to mind our own business. Bill Gaines -- who recently passed away -- appears in a picture hanging on the wall. I think this may have been the first time he appeared as portrait in a Lighter Side strip.
January 5, 2026 at 6:03 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Congress could have and should have done something when Trump usurped their power to set tariffs. Ditto for when he renamed the Kennedy Center. If they had taken action then, they wouldn’t have to deal with him stealing their power to declare war now.
January 4, 2026 at 12:13 AM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
jilltwiss.bsky.social
"Call your Senator!" - Senators
July 2, 2024 at 2:48 AM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
dizwire.bsky.social
Masterful Seussian warnings of the issues that seem to be perpetually integrated into American society.
mattcohen.bsky.social Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · 2d
We started another war for oil, so I'm sharing my MAD article about how the oil industry controls D.C.:

When Seuss wrote The Lorax in ’71
He must have believed that his work was all done
It was a satire without any equal…
But people ignored it, so here is the sequel

Dr. Seuss’s The Lobbyist
(1/X)
January 3, 2026 at 7:51 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
This is a war for oil... but it's also a war for ego.
January 3, 2026 at 9:26 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Keep speaking up about this illegal war for oil. Keep calling for impeachment. Keep demanding legal consequences.

I know that making statements like that can feel inadequate, but if you're making them then you've already taken more action either of my blue state senators have been willing to.
January 3, 2026 at 9:22 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
My Senator @chrismurphyct.bsky.social has posted on Twitter six times today. His last post here was 11 days ago. I would like to ask him why he prefers Twitter: Is it because he supports Musk's antisemitic conspiracy theories or does he just enjoy all of Grok's AI generated child pornography?
January 3, 2026 at 7:41 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
We started another war for oil, so I'm sharing my MAD article about how the oil industry controls D.C.:

When Seuss wrote The Lorax in ’71
He must have believed that his work was all done
It was a satire without any equal…
But people ignored it, so here is the sequel

Dr. Seuss’s The Lobbyist
(1/X)
January 3, 2026 at 7:15 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
When you play a game for the first time, you'll quickly realize how your actions will influence other players... and how their actions will impact you.

That's called strategy.

Trump has never understood strategy or consequences. In his head, his first turn is the victorious end of the game.
This is the popular board game Ticket To Ride. This is a game called Azul. Sometimes other players will mess up your plans because they have plans of their own. That concept is beyond the grasp of the President. This is the delightful game Everdell. The President can't even process the idea of experiencing joy or the idea of having fun, let alone strategy. The strategy involved would be beyond his comprehension. Jungo is a wonderful game for young and old players. The strategy involved is simple enough for an eight year old to quickly learn... but I'd bet all of the money in the world the President couldn't handle any of it. He'd be perplexed that other players are taking the cards he wants instead of surrendering and declaring him the smartest and strongest player to ever play a game.
January 3, 2026 at 5:27 PM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
parkermolloy.com
By retreating only to "kitchen table issues" to avoid being labeled "woke," Democratic leaders have left an open goal for the GOP. When you treat the harassment of vulnerable communities as a "distraction" rather than a crisis, you're not avoiding a fight: you're just forfeiting it.
January 2, 2026 at 6:38 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
They are making all of us unwilling collaborators in this. They cannot commit these sex crimes without using the data they scraped from our lives. They need every Facebook photo, every LinkedIn profile, and every social media post we ever made to feed their beast.
juliusgoat.bsky.social A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 3d
I know I’m probably just a foolish Luddite, but I am pretty sure we can do without plagiarism and misinformation machines that generate horrible sex crimes for the amusement of rape aficionados.
January 2, 2026 at 9:34 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
My parents did the same thing, which is why my birth name is Dr. Zork Commodore Falken.

Note how the blurb for the article uses the word "help" as if the task requires help. #NoAI
January 2, 2026 at 5:42 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Trans bathroom bans were never JUST about bathrooms.
mattcohen.bsky.social Matt Cohen @mattcohen.bsky.social · Sep 23
TERFs are obsessed with where *everyone else* is going to the bathroom, so we wrote them a potty training book to teach them how to mind their own damn business. It's called "Nobody Poops." Read it here... and see it in print in the next issue of @americanbystander.bsky.social. #transrights
This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander. This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander. This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander. This is a parody of the popular potty training book "Everyone Poops" by Tarō Gomi. The parody is called "Nobody Poops." The complete text reads as follows: "This kid poops in the boy's room. This kid poops in the girl's room. Everyone poops... including you" "But some people say that you cannot poop in this toilet or that one or even that one." (The art depicts a series of different gendered bathroom signs. The text continues...) "They won't let you poop until you show them your private parts Because they hate girls (who they say are really boys.) Can girls who wear pants poop? Can boys with long hair poop? How about women with strong cheekbones?" "Who are the people who don't want you to poop? Good question." "Fantasy authors say you can't poop. And politicians say you can't poop. And trolls say you can't poop. And 49.9% of voters say you can't poop." (The art above is caricatures of J.K. Rowling, Rep, Nancy Mace, and Matt Walsh. Not Matt Walsh from Upright Citizen's Brigade. He's cool. This is a picture of the troll with the same name.) "The people who say that nobody poops without their permission all have poop instead of brains. And when they talk, only poop comes out. And they get their poop all over everything." (Here the art is a caricature of Donald Trump. He's making a speech and poop is flying out of his puckered mouth.) "If you can't poop, you can't eat. And if you can't eat... ...you can't live." The parody was written by Matt Cohen and illustrated by Marc Palm. It appears in issue #31 of The American Bystander.
January 2, 2026 at 4:13 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
Some songs for the New Year: "Everything's Gonna Be Better Next Year" by @therescues.bsky.social may have a title that sounds overly optimistic, but it also features the line "better get better 'cause it can't get worse." (1/X)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sesz...
The Rescues - Everything's Gonna Be Better Next Year
YouTube video by The Rescues
www.youtube.com
December 31, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Reposted by Matt Cohen
mattcohen.bsky.social
My dad found this old 1940 newspaper clipping about one man's adventures in voter suppression. It's worth revisiting.

The headline reads "Democrat Abandoned Atop House--Walter Cook, Roofer, Unable to Get Down to Vote When GOP Employer Takes Ladder"
(1/X)
December 29, 2025 at 11:26 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
You love bagels. This bagel loves you back.
The hole in the center of this plain bagel is in the shape of a heart. Honestly, the bagel may be coming on too strong. You’ve only just met. You haven’t even taken the cream cheese out of the fridge yet.
December 30, 2025 at 11:41 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
@gamenightpicks.com Settle a bet for me? Do any of the the Watch It Played folks like Magic: The Gathering? (I got the impression from one of your Lost In The Shuffle videos that maybe you and Paula did.)
December 30, 2025 at 6:19 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
AI is a tool for fascism.
noturtlesoup17.bsky.social amanda moore 🐢 @noturtlesoup17.bsky.social · 8d
This is so fucking dangerous.
🚨HERE IS HOW YOU CHECK DAYCARES IN YOUR CITY 🚨🚨 Ask Grok for an extensive list of daycares in your city. Don’t pay attention to the list it gives you, click the link it provides. Here’s an example for Columbus, Ohio: Then go hunting!!! The first three I pulled up were Star Wars names
December 29, 2025 at 9:25 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
SCROOGE: I was visited by three spirits.

ME: I dreamt I ate a *really good* hamburger.
December 25, 2025 at 5:43 PM
mattcohen.bsky.social
"Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?" #ItsAWonderfulLife

If you need help, text #988Lifeline at 988 or connect with @crisistextline.bsky.social by texting SHARE to 741741 . And please be kind to yourself -- you matter.
In this scene from It's A Wonderful Life, Clarance says "Each mans life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"
December 25, 2025 at 3:46 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
🎶 Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum
December 24th, 9:00 p.m
Eastern Standard Time
From here on in I shoot without a script 🎶
December 25, 2025 at 2:00 AM
mattcohen.bsky.social
My recitation of A Visit From St. Nicholas started strong with “‘Twas,” but then I pivoted to “brillig.”
December 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM