Klara Wells
@klaradactyl.bsky.social
she/her • pseudonymous but sincere • every once in a great while, I write something
Likes: animals, BBC radio, UK TV, books, autumn, harp
Likes: animals, BBC radio, UK TV, books, autumn, harp
Pinned
My new conspiracy theory is that the BBC secretly engineered the introduction of “BBC” as a porn category so that searches for “f*ck the BBC” or “BBC sucks” return a bunch of porn results rather than criticism of the British Broadcasting Corporation.
a man in a blue shirt and tie is standing in front of a wall with a lot of papers on it .
Alt: Charlie Day beside his conspiracy wall in “It’s Always Sunny”. The camera zooms in on his crazy-eyed expression.
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 10:05 PM
My new conspiracy theory is that the BBC secretly engineered the introduction of “BBC” as a porn category so that searches for “f*ck the BBC” or “BBC sucks” return a bunch of porn results rather than criticism of the British Broadcasting Corporation.
Reposted by Klara Wells
Unlike most apps these days, Scrivener does not use AI in any way. However, if you’re on a Mac, you may see an AI prompt.
.
Here’s why, and what you can do if you want to remove this: buff.ly/MlAq0rL
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Here’s why, and what you can do if you want to remove this: buff.ly/MlAq0rL
November 19, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Unlike most apps these days, Scrivener does not use AI in any way. However, if you’re on a Mac, you may see an AI prompt.
.
Here’s why, and what you can do if you want to remove this: buff.ly/MlAq0rL
.
Here’s why, and what you can do if you want to remove this: buff.ly/MlAq0rL
Sometimes I’m like “How can the far right hate us *so much* that they’re willing to blow up their own lives just to make us sad?”
Then I see AI CEOs saying “You can’t let our AI companies fail or we will ALL suffer! Including you!” and
Then I see AI CEOs saying “You can’t let our AI companies fail or we will ALL suffer! Including you!” and
a man in a green shirt is screaming and saying `` fine by me '' while standing next to another man .
Alt: Ross from Friends pretending to cry, then yelling “FINE BY ME”
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Sometimes I’m like “How can the far right hate us *so much* that they’re willing to blow up their own lives just to make us sad?”
Then I see AI CEOs saying “You can’t let our AI companies fail or we will ALL suffer! Including you!” and
Then I see AI CEOs saying “You can’t let our AI companies fail or we will ALL suffer! Including you!” and
This was me trying to write last weekend, with my cats absolutely dismantling the room around me the whole time.
November 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
This was me trying to write last weekend, with my cats absolutely dismantling the room around me the whole time.
Reposted by Klara Wells
after reading the Nuzzi and Lizza pieces yesterday I don’t want to see any of you badmouthing your own writing again
November 18, 2025 at 4:43 PM
after reading the Nuzzi and Lizza pieces yesterday I don’t want to see any of you badmouthing your own writing again
Whence the bullet theoretical? 🧐
November 19, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Whence the bullet theoretical? 🧐
Reposted by Klara Wells
"Everyone’s got their thing. For some, it’s baking. Others, gardening. Me? I like to take a modified Honda Accord, drive over 100 mph, and swerve between cars, almost killing entire families, babies, men, women, whoever."
I Like to Almost Kill People by Driving Past Them at 125 mph in My Modified Honda Accord
Everyone’s got their thing. For some, it’s baking. Others, gardening. Me? I like to take a modified Honda Accord, drive over 100 mph, and swerve be...
buff.ly
November 17, 2025 at 4:25 PM
"Everyone’s got their thing. For some, it’s baking. Others, gardening. Me? I like to take a modified Honda Accord, drive over 100 mph, and swerve between cars, almost killing entire families, babies, men, women, whoever."
“Tis always an option, when fixin’ to spend time with a lady, to fuss with her nethers in a leisurely way if she’s so inclined” Amazing.
"When you’re not worryin' about the weather, the harvest, typhoid, or what’s a comin’ over the plains next, even the dear Lord up in heaven wouldn’t fault you for desirin' to get gone down upon, once in a blue moon."
“It Ain’t Easy Gettin’ Gone Down Upon”: The Lament of a Prairie Woman
All I know is there’s many hard hours for a good country woman to pass. When you’re not worryin’ about the weather, the harvest, typhoid, havin’ co...
buff.ly
November 16, 2025 at 2:41 AM
“Tis always an option, when fixin’ to spend time with a lady, to fuss with her nethers in a leisurely way if she’s so inclined” Amazing.
My main thing about #TheBeastInMe so far is that Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys appear to be wearing the same lip color.
November 15, 2025 at 10:27 PM
My main thing about #TheBeastInMe so far is that Claire Danes and Matthew Rhys appear to be wearing the same lip color.
Conventional wisdom: cats are excellent companions for writers, snoozing quietly while their human works ❤️
My attempts at writing: cats tearing the room apart chasing the light reflected off my pen, my watch, my glasses, my screen. Me screaming at them to stop. Zero writing accomplished, ever.
My attempts at writing: cats tearing the room apart chasing the light reflected off my pen, my watch, my glasses, my screen. Me screaming at them to stop. Zero writing accomplished, ever.
November 14, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Conventional wisdom: cats are excellent companions for writers, snoozing quietly while their human works ❤️
My attempts at writing: cats tearing the room apart chasing the light reflected off my pen, my watch, my glasses, my screen. Me screaming at them to stop. Zero writing accomplished, ever.
My attempts at writing: cats tearing the room apart chasing the light reflected off my pen, my watch, my glasses, my screen. Me screaming at them to stop. Zero writing accomplished, ever.
Feel Good Pancake Balls
November 10, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Feel Good Pancake Balls
Yesterday I decided to commit to writing something (Anything! A scene with no context! A haiku! A thank you note!) every day this month. Then I decided to mention it here to keep myself accountable.
Then I did neither, so that’s how that’s going 🙃
Then I did neither, so that’s how that’s going 🙃
November 7, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Yesterday I decided to commit to writing something (Anything! A scene with no context! A haiku! A thank you note!) every day this month. Then I decided to mention it here to keep myself accountable.
Then I did neither, so that’s how that’s going 🙃
Then I did neither, so that’s how that’s going 🙃
Stopping at 3 advent calendars this year. Maybe next year I’ll officially do my “can I live exclusively off of advent calendar food and drink for a month?” experiment.
November 5, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Stopping at 3 advent calendars this year. Maybe next year I’ll officially do my “can I live exclusively off of advent calendar food and drink for a month?” experiment.
My new thing is “talking” to myself via notes and journals, with the aim of getting past my tendency to pre-dismiss literally everything I write. This morning they were playing pop music in the dentist’s waiting room and I wrote this.
October 16, 2025 at 12:28 AM
My new thing is “talking” to myself via notes and journals, with the aim of getting past my tendency to pre-dismiss literally everything I write. This morning they were playing pop music in the dentist’s waiting room and I wrote this.
Reposted by Klara Wells
"From 1974 to 1980, Duke was an active leader of a community organization he founded that championed the power of dialogue and debate."
The Last Remaining Newspaper’s Obituary for David Duke, ca. 2033
The following message has been approved by the FCC, Louisiana Commissar’s Branch. - - -David Ernest Duke, devoted father, community leader, and pas...
buff.ly
September 22, 2025 at 3:23 PM
"From 1974 to 1980, Duke was an active leader of a community organization he founded that championed the power of dialogue and debate."
I wrote this (EXTREMELY ROUGH) thing back in April and forgot about it. Went ahead and posted without editing to capitalize on the inevitable #7LayerBurrito craze that will be sweeping the nation any minute now. www.klarawells.com/2025/09/seve...
September 11, 2025 at 11:44 PM
I wrote this (EXTREMELY ROUGH) thing back in April and forgot about it. Went ahead and posted without editing to capitalize on the inevitable #7LayerBurrito craze that will be sweeping the nation any minute now. www.klarawells.com/2025/09/seve...
We got Severance s2 earlier this year and now Taco Bell has brought the #7LayerBurrito back*! AM I MAGIC?!?
*albeit "for a limited time only"
*albeit "for a limited time only"
I only want 3 things:
- For Taco Bell to bring back the 7-Layer Burrito
- For Adult Swim Games to bring back Hemp Tycoon as a mobile app (using the music/graphics from the Facebook games version not the website version)
- Season 2 of #Severance
- For Taco Bell to bring back the 7-Layer Burrito
- For Adult Swim Games to bring back Hemp Tycoon as a mobile app (using the music/graphics from the Facebook games version not the website version)
- Season 2 of #Severance
September 11, 2025 at 11:39 PM
We got Severance s2 earlier this year and now Taco Bell has brought the #7LayerBurrito back*! AM I MAGIC?!?
*albeit "for a limited time only"
*albeit "for a limited time only"
Apple is launching the Ozempic Phone tomorrow
September 8, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Apple is launching the Ozempic Phone tomorrow
Songs I heard through the door of my niece’s tap dancing class this evening (all Alvin & the Chipmunks versions, not the originals)
September 4, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Songs I heard through the door of my niece’s tap dancing class this evening (all Alvin & the Chipmunks versions, not the originals)
*scrolling, bleary-eyed, pre-coffee*
Oh wow that sounds so much like… wait…
*reads title*
IT IS! IT’S MY THING THAT GOT PUBLISHED IN MCSWEENEY’S! ❤️
Oh wow that sounds so much like… wait…
*reads title*
IT IS! IT’S MY THING THAT GOT PUBLISHED IN MCSWEENEY’S! ❤️
"Remember to fast starting twelve hours before your appointment to ensure an accurate blood sugar measurement. This is crucial as the CEO has diabetes and can’t ingest too much sugar during the ritual in which he consumes all of the samples."
About Our New Corporate Bloodletting Program
In conjunction with our health insurance partners, we’re proud to announce our new Corporate Bloodletting Program, which will go into effect with n...
buff.ly
September 3, 2025 at 11:44 AM
*scrolling, bleary-eyed, pre-coffee*
Oh wow that sounds so much like… wait…
*reads title*
IT IS! IT’S MY THING THAT GOT PUBLISHED IN MCSWEENEY’S! ❤️
Oh wow that sounds so much like… wait…
*reads title*
IT IS! IT’S MY THING THAT GOT PUBLISHED IN MCSWEENEY’S! ❤️
Good God. Imagine looking at British TV comedy and thinking, “Hmmm… not American enough.”
Granted his main point seemed to be that he wanted way more episodes, but IF IT AIN’T BROKE (and British TV comedy really, really ain’t broke!)
Granted his main point seemed to be that he wanted way more episodes, but IF IT AIN’T BROKE (and British TV comedy really, really ain’t broke!)
Saturday catch-up: David Cameron once personally asked Tina Fey to come to the UK to change the way the British TV comedy industry works. http://dlvr.it/TMmr7Y
August 30, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Good God. Imagine looking at British TV comedy and thinking, “Hmmm… not American enough.”
Granted his main point seemed to be that he wanted way more episodes, but IF IT AIN’T BROKE (and British TV comedy really, really ain’t broke!)
Granted his main point seemed to be that he wanted way more episodes, but IF IT AIN’T BROKE (and British TV comedy really, really ain’t broke!)
Reposted by Klara Wells
Was trying to find this to confirm it’s real. Turns out it’s from Threads and dril is killing it over there
August 28, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Was trying to find this to confirm it’s real. Turns out it’s from Threads and dril is killing it over there
I got one extra week and I made the best of it. Here ends an 18-year love affair (and/or here begins a new era of paying a VPN company money I would’ve PREFERRED to give the BBC). #BBCSounds
July 28, 2025 at 11:04 PM
I got one extra week and I made the best of it. Here ends an 18-year love affair (and/or here begins a new era of paying a VPN company money I would’ve PREFERRED to give the BBC). #BBCSounds
On the one hand, it’s wonderful to see at least one tech tool *not* cramming AI down our throats, and it’s great that they listen to their customers. On the other hand, I wish we could read the obscenity-laden “DON’T YOU DARE” responses they got to their survey.
July 21, 2025 at 8:29 PM
On the one hand, it’s wonderful to see at least one tech tool *not* cramming AI down our throats, and it’s great that they listen to their customers. On the other hand, I wish we could read the obscenity-laden “DON’T YOU DARE” responses they got to their survey.
My BBC Sounds app is still working, but I don’t imagine that will last much longer. I’ve listened since 2007. So incredibly sad to say goodbye 😢
July 21, 2025 at 8:09 PM
My BBC Sounds app is still working, but I don’t imagine that will last much longer. I’ve listened since 2007. So incredibly sad to say goodbye 😢