Jonathan Cairns
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jonathancairns.bsky.social
Jonathan Cairns
@jonathancairns.bsky.social
Data wizard, biostatistician, research scientist, occasional comedian, unexpected series champion of Only Connect. He/him. Views my own.
CHEEZOID HATE SELF! HATE SELF!
Google Gemini doesn’t appear to be doing too well:

‘"I am a disgrace to this planet. I am a disgrace to this universe. I am a disgrace to all universes . . . I am a disgrace to all possible and impossible universes and all that is not a universe," the bot continued.’
Google says it's working on a fix for Gemini's self-loathing 'I am a failure' comments
Google Gemini users said the bot is sharing self-loathing messages while attempting to solve tasks, including "I am a disgrace to this universe."
www.businessinsider.com
August 8, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
As someone wrote on Twitter many years ago, "if someone tells you something is unclear, they are -by definition- correct"
August 7, 2025 at 2:03 PM
That last answer is one of my all time favourites 😅 #onlyconnect
July 28, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Thought my TV was struggling with reception then realised I'm an idiot #onlyconnect
July 28, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Please tell me @quizzydan.bsky.social you made that killer sudoku impossible to annoy everyone 😅 #onlyconnect
July 28, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
With Tom Lehrer's passing, I suppose this is a moment to share the story of the prank he played on the National Security Agency, and how it went undiscovered for nearly 60 years.
July 27, 2025 at 9:01 PM
In amongst his trademark wicked wit, there's a real beauty to this song that I love. Tom Lehrer, to thee we sing with our glasses raised on high - six parts gin to one part vermouth.
July 28, 2025 at 12:11 PM
YAAAASSSSSSSS #Euro2025
July 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM
#onlyconnect "I don't allow anyone to refer to me by my first name" - well quite, the correct form of address is Old Goosebump Arm.
July 21, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
Reminds me of when I was a phd student and my advisor, who was rushing from one thing to another and eating a triangle sandwich from a vending mechine, turned to me and said, "Richard, when you too are a successful professor, you too can eat your lunch from a vending machine."
July 18, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
I'm not going to repost any of the insane antisemitic conspiracy bullshit that grok is spewing today, but it highlights how absolutely essentially is that we not let LLMs become a form of epistemic grounding for our society.
July 8, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
We're recruiting junior team leaders @mrc-lms.bsky.social This time we're looking for those working in human metabolic disease.

It's a great place to start your lab. Fantastic colleagues, exciting science, world class facilities. Join us!

lms.mrc.ac.uk/work/vacanci...
Programme Leader Track - MRC Laboratory of Medical Sciences
We are recruiting Programme Leader Track positions focusing on 1) Metabolic Physiology using murine and/or human in vivo models and 2) Immunometabolism.
lms.mrc.ac.uk
July 7, 2025 at 8:14 AM
Fantastic finale to #geniusgame - in fact the run up to the end of the series has been stunning! Well worth checking out.
June 11, 2025 at 9:17 PM
If only there was a pithy five-word phrase available to describe my surprise and delight at how well the UK entry is doing so far #Eurovision
May 17, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Baby lasagne and kaarija!!! Good to know that even if my favourites don't win they may come back anyway. #Eurovision
May 17, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Time to jinx my favourites by naming them:
1st Sweden
2nd Italy
3rd Latvia
4th Finland
5th Germany
#eurovision
May 17, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Ed Balls
April 28, 2025 at 9:17 AM
Trains. I shouldn't find it surprising by now. But it still disheartens me that I live in a country where hiring a car is cheaper, easier and more reliable than taking a "direct train".
April 16, 2025 at 8:46 AM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
Sick of being taken advantage of by OTHER PACKAGES?!

Use python package {tariff} to show those packages WHO IS BOSS.

Make Reinventing The Wheel Great Again!

pypi.org/project/tari...
April 15, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
I just attended a conference in the US. We had one speaker detained and two others turned away at the border.
April 13, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
This is a thread of my favourite ever literal translations, starting with this one…

In Greek, the word for a protest, εύπιστος, translates literally to “anger parade”
April 1, 2025 at 8:40 AM
If I heard right, the 8:23 to Brighton from Cambridge was just delayed 15 minutes due to the driver "taking a personal meal break".
April 9, 2025 at 7:33 AM
I will absolutely refer back to today as Orange Monday.

Granted, this could lead to confusion when explaining to the next generation that "Orange Wednesdays" was something very different.
This Monday, orange is the new black.
April 7, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
Our institute has created an exciting postdoc fellowship scheme for UK black heritage scientists. Please spread the word and apply if eligible!

lms.mrc.ac.uk/work/vacanci...
MRC Postdoctoral Research Scientist (Emerging Innovators Fellowship for Black Heritage Scientists) - MRC Laboratory of Medical Sciences
The MRC Laboratory of Medical Sciences (LMS) is a biomedical research institute where scientists and clinicians collaborate to advance the understanding of biology and its application to medicine. Fun...
lms.mrc.ac.uk
April 3, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Reposted by Jonathan Cairns
This is research from a primary school in Barcelona, looking at how boys and girls used a space with a large football pitch in the middle. I don't really need to explain any more.
March 18, 2025 at 8:34 AM