Howard Read
@howardread.bsky.social
Comedy writer. Doesn’t understand how Bluesky works.
Pinned
Howard Read
@howardread.bsky.social
· Nov 30
<CLAAAAAAAANG!!!> such a lovely night celebrating 15 years of Horrible Histories, and more importantly, having it, and everyone who’s made it what it is, celebrated.
Plastic surgery by Tim Burton.
Tony Blair increasingly looking like he's just drunk from the wrong Grail but is actually delighted about it
January 17, 2026 at 11:26 AM
Plastic surgery by Tim Burton.
I’m play this lovely club in Leeds on the 28th! Tickets here! www.sevenleeds.co.uk/event/silky-...
January 12, 2026 at 3:36 PM
I’m play this lovely club in Leeds on the 28th! Tickets here! www.sevenleeds.co.uk/event/silky-...
“Cookie” monster.
December 23, 2025 at 2:27 PM
“Cookie” monster.
Either with jaws going like a wood-chipper, flip-top head like the Reach adverts, or just mash it in like Coolie Monster. Your call.
December 23, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Either with jaws going like a wood-chipper, flip-top head like the Reach adverts, or just mash it in like Coolie Monster. Your call.
All weird AI pictures of food should go.
December 23, 2025 at 1:31 PM
All weird AI pictures of food should go.
Howard's 2025 Christmas card to YOU!
YouTube video by Howard Read
youtu.be
December 23, 2025 at 11:25 AM
Reposted by Howard Read
The last @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast of 2025 and it’s our Xmas special with @howardread.bsky.social helping answer festive Qs. Does Santa really poo off the Santa Monica pier on his summer holidays? Get your kids to listen!
pod.fo/e/3681bd
Available all places podcasts are
pod.fo/e/3681bd
Available all places podcasts are
December 17, 2025 at 8:36 AM
The last @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast of 2025 and it’s our Xmas special with @howardread.bsky.social helping answer festive Qs. Does Santa really poo off the Santa Monica pier on his summer holidays? Get your kids to listen!
pod.fo/e/3681bd
Available all places podcasts are
pod.fo/e/3681bd
Available all places podcasts are
I’ve recorded lots of these, but this was the most fun. An improvised conversation answering daft questions sent in by listeners. It’s a really funny one.
The last @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast of 2025 and it’s our Xmas special with @howardread.bsky.social helping answer festive Qs. Does Santa really poo off the Santa Monica pier on his summer holidays? Get your kids to listen!
pod.fo/e/3681bd
Available all places podcasts are
pod.fo/e/3681bd
Available all places podcasts are
December 17, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I’ve recorded lots of these, but this was the most fun. An improvised conversation answering daft questions sent in by listeners. It’s a really funny one.
Hello everyone. Hope you have a lovely one despite *gestures around vaguely*. I made a festive cartoon for you in lieu of a Christmas card.
Hope you like it.
Howard x
youtu.be/0LD-TSwKFHE?...
Hope you like it.
Howard x
youtu.be/0LD-TSwKFHE?...
Howard's 2025 Christmas card to YOU!
YouTube video by Howard Read
youtu.be
December 16, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Hello everyone. Hope you have a lovely one despite *gestures around vaguely*. I made a festive cartoon for you in lieu of a Christmas card.
Hope you like it.
Howard x
youtu.be/0LD-TSwKFHE?...
Hope you like it.
Howard x
youtu.be/0LD-TSwKFHE?...
Come to the 5pm show of this if you’re in North London! A few ticket left!
Finsbury Park! Families of North London! See you at @parktheatrelondon.bsky.social this afternoon..? The 3pm show is sold out, but you can still buy for 5pm, with Rachel Watkeys-Dowie (MC), Dave Chawner, @comedysavage.bsky.social and @howardread.bsky.social!
🎟️ parktheatre.co.uk/events/comed...
🎟️ parktheatre.co.uk/events/comed...
December 14, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Come to the 5pm show of this if you’re in North London! A few ticket left!
Reposted by Howard Read
Tomorrow afternoon!
Finsbury Park! Families of North London! See you at @parktheatrelondon.bsky.social on Sunday 14th December for comedy excellence from Rachel Watkeys-Dowie, Dave Chawner and @howardread.bsky.social!
🎟️ parktheatre.co.uk/events/comed...
🎟️ parktheatre.co.uk/events/comed...
December 13, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Tomorrow afternoon!
This is really sad. Robin is one of the most intelligent and caring people I know. But, just like him, he’s standing up while so many other people are bowing down.
Very sad that I felt I had no choice but to resign from The Infinite Monkey Cage - a victory for the transphobes and other bigots - I did it because so much of the media has chosen to believe the kind and empathetic people are a fiction - they are real and so often unrepresented.
December 13, 2025 at 10:34 PM
This is really sad. Robin is one of the most intelligent and caring people I know. But, just like him, he’s standing up while so many other people are bowing down.
Flying visit to Dublin to celebrate the wrap of Adam Loves Adventure, a lovely RTÉ I had the joy of helping develop and write and get in a spot of Christmas shopping.
December 7, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Flying visit to Dublin to celebrate the wrap of Adam Loves Adventure, a lovely RTÉ I had the joy of helping develop and write and get in a spot of Christmas shopping.
National Lamooons can do one. The family are big into the Nativity films, me less so, but they’ll get watched. Trading Places counts as a Christmas film for me, Scrooged is also a goodun #AdventCinema
November 30, 2025 at 6:07 PM
National Lamooons can do one. The family are big into the Nativity films, me less so, but they’ll get watched. Trading Places counts as a Christmas film for me, Scrooged is also a goodun #AdventCinema
Oo! Not seen Fred Christmas or watched Christmas Chronicles properly (I think a crying child ruined it). MCC, staring the Muppet-F-Ers, obvs, Elf is a very close second. I’ll do It’s A Winderful Life. Curve ball would be Dead Snow, if you like Nazi zombies at a ski resort…
November 30, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Oo! Not seen Fred Christmas or watched Christmas Chronicles properly (I think a crying child ruined it). MCC, staring the Muppet-F-Ers, obvs, Elf is a very close second. I’ll do It’s A Winderful Life. Curve ball would be Dead Snow, if you like Nazi zombies at a ski resort…
Is there a Most Christmassyist Garage competition? If there is
Can someone enter this big jingly carport into it, because it’ll win hands down. After most of the day up a ladder, discovering problems with both the guttering and the roof tiles, Christmas is well and truly started in this house.
Can someone enter this big jingly carport into it, because it’ll win hands down. After most of the day up a ladder, discovering problems with both the guttering and the roof tiles, Christmas is well and truly started in this house.
November 30, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Is there a Most Christmassyist Garage competition? If there is
Can someone enter this big jingly carport into it, because it’ll win hands down. After most of the day up a ladder, discovering problems with both the guttering and the roof tiles, Christmas is well and truly started in this house.
Can someone enter this big jingly carport into it, because it’ll win hands down. After most of the day up a ladder, discovering problems with both the guttering and the roof tiles, Christmas is well and truly started in this house.
Brilliant! Glad The Mupper-F***ers get top billing (I’m experimenting with calling them that). I’d love to know the rest of the line up. #AdventCinema
November 30, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Brilliant! Glad The Mupper-F***ers get top billing (I’m experimenting with calling them that). I’d love to know the rest of the line up. #AdventCinema
For those who are wondering (and getting bafflingly angry) about when it’s okay to start celebrating Christmas, the answer is NOW. Last night we went to see one of the Sing-a-long showings at the Prince Charles Cinema. THAT is when Christmas starts for us.
November 30, 2025 at 9:18 AM
For those who are wondering (and getting bafflingly angry) about when it’s okay to start celebrating Christmas, the answer is NOW. Last night we went to see one of the Sing-a-long showings at the Prince Charles Cinema. THAT is when Christmas starts for us.
The Muppets Christmas Carol is the best telling of anything ever. A masterpiece in adaptation, every key line delivered brilliantly, great songs, genuinely funny and emotion, rewards repeated viewing (trust me on this) and every single shot of the film has at least one joke in it.
Thead
Thead
November 30, 2025 at 9:16 AM
The Muppets Christmas Carol is the best telling of anything ever. A masterpiece in adaptation, every key line delivered brilliantly, great songs, genuinely funny and emotion, rewards repeated viewing (trust me on this) and every single shot of the film has at least one joke in it.
Thead
Thead
Then it was all worth it (NB financially I’m afraid it was not worth it).
November 25, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Then it was all worth it (NB financially I’m afraid it was not worth it).
Me and my missus (who used to produce live ghost shows in an entirely accidental career twist) tuned in, and the whole plan appeared to be “point camera at people who are usually funny when scripted”. Didn’t make the end of ep 1 despite liking both of them.
November 25, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Me and my missus (who used to produce live ghost shows in an entirely accidental career twist) tuned in, and the whole plan appeared to be “point camera at people who are usually funny when scripted”. Didn’t make the end of ep 1 despite liking both of them.
This is the nichest of niche jokes that was even niche when you were at the show when it was explained.
@howardread.bsky.social CLIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
*playing guess who with werner herzog*
werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards
me: yes
werner herzog: is it clive
werner herzog: does your person have the demented soul of a trapped demon, held infinitely against his will in a universe with no time, his pointless despair flaying his mind into shards
me: yes
werner herzog: is it clive
November 25, 2025 at 11:15 PM
This is the nichest of niche jokes that was even niche when you were at the show when it was explained.
I’d like to think he’s still there.
November 24, 2025 at 5:49 PM
I’d like to think he’s still there.
You were totally doing that anyway.
November 24, 2025 at 5:48 PM
You were totally doing that anyway.