Jenni Polodna
@hamsterdisco.bsky.social
one time I started a small fire inside the Williams Street microwave by being a complete idiot
hope you wanna read bloosks about my baby
hope you wanna read bloosks about my baby
me & the baby watching a vid on the ancient Maya
historian says Maya elites used to elongate their babies' skulls so they'd look more like corn & when he says this the baby locks eyes with me underneath his little plagiocephaly helmet like "I know you're fuckin thinkin about it"
I do love corn
historian says Maya elites used to elongate their babies' skulls so they'd look more like corn & when he says this the baby locks eyes with me underneath his little plagiocephaly helmet like "I know you're fuckin thinkin about it"
I do love corn
September 27, 2025 at 7:36 AM
me & the baby watching a vid on the ancient Maya
historian says Maya elites used to elongate their babies' skulls so they'd look more like corn & when he says this the baby locks eyes with me underneath his little plagiocephaly helmet like "I know you're fuckin thinkin about it"
I do love corn
historian says Maya elites used to elongate their babies' skulls so they'd look more like corn & when he says this the baby locks eyes with me underneath his little plagiocephaly helmet like "I know you're fuckin thinkin about it"
I do love corn
I thought the baby would like these crunchy corn snack sticks 'cause he's always trying to eat our food
he won't even put em in his MOUTH
this kid puts EVERYTHING in his mouth!
he's got a plastic bucket he's been trying to eat for six months now
buddy wtf is wrong with these corn things?
he won't even put em in his MOUTH
this kid puts EVERYTHING in his mouth!
he's got a plastic bucket he's been trying to eat for six months now
buddy wtf is wrong with these corn things?
September 21, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I thought the baby would like these crunchy corn snack sticks 'cause he's always trying to eat our food
he won't even put em in his MOUTH
this kid puts EVERYTHING in his mouth!
he's got a plastic bucket he's been trying to eat for six months now
buddy wtf is wrong with these corn things?
he won't even put em in his MOUTH
this kid puts EVERYTHING in his mouth!
he's got a plastic bucket he's been trying to eat for six months now
buddy wtf is wrong with these corn things?
Reposted by Jenni Polodna
Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13
The problem with every post-Millennial generation is they got to go straight to high speed internet. Of course you'll get computer madness that way. Make them start with those old screeching modems and work their way up
September 12, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13
Reposted by Jenni Polodna
no matter how bad things get, at least you don't have this guy's job
September 16, 2025 at 10:07 PM
no matter how bad things get, at least you don't have this guy's job
took the baby to the helmet doctor & there's another baby getting buckled into his carseat to go home
kid starts screaming & the dad goes "I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies, buddy"
I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies
kid starts screaming & the dad goes "I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies, buddy"
I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies
September 16, 2025 at 6:16 AM
took the baby to the helmet doctor & there's another baby getting buckled into his carseat to go home
kid starts screaming & the dad goes "I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies, buddy"
I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies
kid starts screaming & the dad goes "I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies, buddy"
I'm sorry I pinched you in the junkies
me: if I were on Taskmaster I would simply read and comprehend all of the instructions in the task
also me:
also me:
September 16, 2025 at 1:48 AM
me: if I were on Taskmaster I would simply read and comprehend all of the instructions in the task
also me:
also me:
checked the mail & there was a package for "Chris Customer" from "fun.com" which is the most suspicious thing I've seen since they started selling that "Harmless Coconut Water"
September 14, 2025 at 11:00 PM
checked the mail & there was a package for "Chris Customer" from "fun.com" which is the most suspicious thing I've seen since they started selling that "Harmless Coconut Water"
I dropped my phone on my lap and it typed "plop"
September 13, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I dropped my phone on my lap and it typed "plop"
every modern children's book is like "Hassle Moose, he's a moose who likes to hassle a park ranger" & you're like "well that's kinda cute" then you flip it over & it's got 20 bestselling spinoffs such as "Hassle Moose Buys Eighty Yachts" and "Hassle Moose Is A Bigger Deal Than Jesus"
September 6, 2025 at 11:23 PM
every modern children's book is like "Hassle Moose, he's a moose who likes to hassle a park ranger" & you're like "well that's kinda cute" then you flip it over & it's got 20 bestselling spinoffs such as "Hassle Moose Buys Eighty Yachts" and "Hassle Moose Is A Bigger Deal Than Jesus"
baby: *blows raspberry into my shoulder*
me: *blows raspberry into the baby's arm*
baby: pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt
me: plllbbbblblblt
baby: pbblbbbbtttt
me: PBBBLBLBLBTTTTTT
Chris: Y'all are weird
me: *blows raspberry into the baby's arm*
baby: pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt
me: plllbbbblblblt
baby: pbblbbbbtttt
me: PBBBLBLBLBTTTTTT
Chris: Y'all are weird
September 6, 2025 at 3:09 AM
baby: *blows raspberry into my shoulder*
me: *blows raspberry into the baby's arm*
baby: pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt
me: plllbbbblblblt
baby: pbblbbbbtttt
me: PBBBLBLBLBTTTTTT
Chris: Y'all are weird
me: *blows raspberry into the baby's arm*
baby: pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt
me: plllbbbblblblt
baby: pbblbbbbtttt
me: PBBBLBLBLBTTTTTT
Chris: Y'all are weird
Reposted by Jenni Polodna
Look at this beautiful data visualization by a man named Colin
May 17, 2025 at 10:03 AM
Look at this beautiful data visualization by a man named Colin
people on the internet like "it's a high chair, does it really need a 5-point restraint? that seems excessive 🧐" & I'm all "must be interesting not having an ExXxTreme SportzZz Action Baby sponsored by Red Bull Infantifuel Nitro, if I don't web him up like Frodo Baggins he's on the ceiling fan"
September 2, 2025 at 4:50 PM
people on the internet like "it's a high chair, does it really need a 5-point restraint? that seems excessive 🧐" & I'm all "must be interesting not having an ExXxTreme SportzZz Action Baby sponsored by Red Bull Infantifuel Nitro, if I don't web him up like Frodo Baggins he's on the ceiling fan"
just went to plug a lamp back in that I'd unplugged to plug in my laptop & caught myself thinking "this is a good deed, I'm a good steward of the earth"
August 27, 2025 at 6:46 PM
just went to plug a lamp back in that I'd unplugged to plug in my laptop & caught myself thinking "this is a good deed, I'm a good steward of the earth"
Reposted by Jenni Polodna
@blueprincegame.bsky.social My 7 year old son and I attended or local video game convention in MN (2D Con) this weekend. We love playing Blue Prince together, so he cosplayed as Simon. Spent time at various doors around the con trying to draft rooms.
August 25, 2025 at 1:35 PM
@blueprincegame.bsky.social My 7 year old son and I attended or local video game convention in MN (2D Con) this weekend. We love playing Blue Prince together, so he cosplayed as Simon. Spent time at various doors around the con trying to draft rooms.
ok stop me if someone has something like this already but drawing program idea
it's undo but it plays your previous action back pixel by pixel and you stop it at the point shit went off the rails
it's undo but it plays your previous action back pixel by pixel and you stop it at the point shit went off the rails
August 24, 2025 at 8:57 PM
ok stop me if someone has something like this already but drawing program idea
it's undo but it plays your previous action back pixel by pixel and you stop it at the point shit went off the rails
it's undo but it plays your previous action back pixel by pixel and you stop it at the point shit went off the rails
Reposted by Jenni Polodna
when you're new to making games, it's easy to think it's about making art and making the right decisions and having the best taste. but actually making games is about dancing really good when the old west bandit shoots bullets at your toes
August 16, 2025 at 7:35 PM
when you're new to making games, it's easy to think it's about making art and making the right decisions and having the best taste. but actually making games is about dancing really good when the old west bandit shoots bullets at your toes
baby update, he's fascinated with PhD linguist Erica Brozovsky
she's got a nautical etymology vid where she's wearing a sailor suit & when he sees this his face lights UP, like he is DELIGHTED
I'm like yes it's p cute but wtf bud you don't know what a sailor suit IS, not sure you understand WATER
she's got a nautical etymology vid where she's wearing a sailor suit & when he sees this his face lights UP, like he is DELIGHTED
I'm like yes it's p cute but wtf bud you don't know what a sailor suit IS, not sure you understand WATER
August 16, 2025 at 7:35 PM
baby update, he's fascinated with PhD linguist Erica Brozovsky
she's got a nautical etymology vid where she's wearing a sailor suit & when he sees this his face lights UP, like he is DELIGHTED
I'm like yes it's p cute but wtf bud you don't know what a sailor suit IS, not sure you understand WATER
she's got a nautical etymology vid where she's wearing a sailor suit & when he sees this his face lights UP, like he is DELIGHTED
I'm like yes it's p cute but wtf bud you don't know what a sailor suit IS, not sure you understand WATER
(playing Valheim while the baby naps) him sleeping, that's where I'm a Viking
August 3, 2025 at 5:42 PM
(playing Valheim while the baby naps) him sleeping, that's where I'm a Viking
saw someone post "be nice to your kids as they go back to school because just imagine you were the one being sent back" & lemme tell ya tho I FANTASIZE about getting sent back to school with my current brain, I would CRUSH that shit like a fully geared level 80 trampling through Elwynn Forest
August 3, 2025 at 12:55 AM
saw someone post "be nice to your kids as they go back to school because just imagine you were the one being sent back" & lemme tell ya tho I FANTASIZE about getting sent back to school with my current brain, I would CRUSH that shit like a fully geared level 80 trampling through Elwynn Forest
saw a riddle that went "I live inside a SQUARE but I am ROUND my whole body is TRIANGLES wat am I" and was convinced the answer was gonna be Cait Sith from Final Fantasy 7
August 2, 2025 at 4:31 PM
saw a riddle that went "I live inside a SQUARE but I am ROUND my whole body is TRIANGLES wat am I" and was convinced the answer was gonna be Cait Sith from Final Fantasy 7
parenting tip: if you say "haha he just loves to scratch his little fingienails on the mesh of his playpen!" it sounds so much nicer than "he's constantly clawing at the walls of his prison in a futile attempt to escape"
July 24, 2025 at 7:25 PM
parenting tip: if you say "haha he just loves to scratch his little fingienails on the mesh of his playpen!" it sounds so much nicer than "he's constantly clawing at the walls of his prison in a futile attempt to escape"
Reposted by Jenni Polodna
I am on episode 299 of Topic Lords, which dropped today! Along with @hamsterdisco.bsky.social and mogwai_poet. Many topics were discussed, along with micro-topics viewable at the link. I was thrilled to participate; I hope you listen in and have a few laughs.
topiclords.com/skin-fortres...
topiclords.com/skin-fortres...
299. Skin Fortress With Armed Idiot
Lords: Jenni and Robb. We discuss multiple people responding with the same mystifying emoji, role-playing with a four year old about stealing Toxic Waste candy and lying to the cops about it, choosing...
topiclords.com
July 15, 2025 at 12:35 AM
I am on episode 299 of Topic Lords, which dropped today! Along with @hamsterdisco.bsky.social and mogwai_poet. Many topics were discussed, along with micro-topics viewable at the link. I was thrilled to participate; I hope you listen in and have a few laughs.
topiclords.com/skin-fortres...
topiclords.com/skin-fortres...
my partner the DM is still salty about the time we went down what he considered a side path, he described it as "making you feel vaguely uncomfortable," & we immediately made exploring it our new objective to the extreme that we were all chanting "UNCOMFORTABLE ROOM! UNCOMFORTABLE ROOM!"
July 8, 2025 at 10:32 PM
my partner the DM is still salty about the time we went down what he considered a side path, he described it as "making you feel vaguely uncomfortable," & we immediately made exploring it our new objective to the extreme that we were all chanting "UNCOMFORTABLE ROOM! UNCOMFORTABLE ROOM!"
my friends out here calling their spouses by different names than I met them by without an official name change heads up & I'm sweating cause I don't want to deadname 'em but what if GP is your personal nickname for 'em and it stands for "Greatest Pussypounder"
June 28, 2025 at 8:00 PM
my friends out here calling their spouses by different names than I met them by without an official name change heads up & I'm sweating cause I don't want to deadname 'em but what if GP is your personal nickname for 'em and it stands for "Greatest Pussypounder"