Grace Jarvis
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gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
Grace Jarvis
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
I am a stand-up comedian and that is okay

https://linktr.ee/gracejarvis
Pinned
if a woman tells you you have “nice hands” she is doing everything in her power not to fuck you senseless please release her from her torment her friends are receiving the kinds of messages someone in prison would send
Bugs Bunny over here
January 7, 2026 at 12:04 AM
I’m writing creative non-fiction about all the dead dogs in my life on substack open.substack.com/pub/gracejar...
January 3, 2026 at 5:24 PM
this year I’m gonna put aside more time to spend on my true passion which is using the word “ahoy!”
January 2, 2026 at 3:36 AM
my New Year’s resolution is to have made better choices in adolescence
January 1, 2026 at 5:52 AM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
This is exciting, Grace is booked in for the first #ACMS of the New Year and we've never had a mighty oak on the bill before. (Just logs. Obvs.)
in the year 2026 I will be transforming into a large and formidable oak tree
December 31, 2025 at 4:55 PM
in the year 2026 I will be transforming into a large and formidable oak tree
December 31, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
hope you have cheeses for those meeces because they’re fuckin coming for you
just gave your address to a bunch of mice wearing clothes merry christmas
December 24, 2025 at 10:59 PM
just gave your address to a bunch of mice wearing clothes merry christmas
December 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
Come see us* in January wegottickets.com/event/685242/!
Bring any unwanted Christmas presents for the swaps table!
Have an excellent rest of December!
Have a nice time!
HAVE A NICE TIME!

* Inc. @turlygod.bsky.social, @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social, etc
December 21, 2025 at 2:53 PM
audiobooks, much like bisexuality, are wholly more enjoyable when you stop engaging with whether weirdos on the internet think they “count”
December 20, 2025 at 12:31 PM
pretty grim that I’ve been sick enough in my life to be able to recognise the difference between a bacterial infection and a viral infection just from how they feel in my body, but it’s fun to have a party trick at the doctors
December 17, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
gaston movie should just be 1.5 hours straight of him being terrorized by eggs
December 15, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I have been upset by the Grinch’s terrible fluffy fingers my entire life
December 15, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
The Daily Tism is not an educational platform, that’s why it doesn’t have sources for its information because it’s not information
December 12, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
A chronically ill autistic woman has endeared herself to yet another specialist, according to the letter sent to her GP.

Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/123513...
December 11, 2025 at 10:01 AM
it’s that time of year again! the time when my social media feeds are filled with Australians and New Zealanders very politely explaining that we have Christmas in summer to some American person in their comments calling them stupid for not wearing a jacket in December
December 11, 2025 at 12:06 PM
I went to the post office yesterday to mail my friend a cross stitch that I spent weeks making and the lady behind the counter asked, “does the item have a value?” and I said, “well, I made it with my hands” and she just stared at me until I went, “so I guess not…”
December 10, 2025 at 10:48 AM
put my vibrator in the bathroom sink to give it a quick wash while my flatmates weren’t home, got distracted by one of the eight other tasks I was doing concurrently and then forgot that I’d put it there until one of my flatmates came home and told me that’s where it was
December 10, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
I worship at the altar of stained glass
December 10, 2025 at 2:49 AM
there’s something to be said for the deep spiritual bonds and genuine precious friendships I have formed with people I’ve simply made eye contact with, at the back of a comedy club, while someone was doing or saying something absolutely batshit insane onstage
December 10, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Reposted by Grace Jarvis
#ACMS
📆 Monday 12 January
🏰 The Phoenix
🎟️ buy online from wegottickets.com/event/685242/
😻 hosted by @turlygod.bsky.social, with @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @hollyburncomedy.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social AND MORE
🌈 free guestlist for trans & non-binary folk, just ask
December 8, 2025 at 4:02 PM
watching The X Files - the nineties were crazy!!!
December 5, 2025 at 4:33 PM
shit is so bad that I am reading the terms and conditions
December 4, 2025 at 11:23 PM
if you give me SEVEN godforsaken swans-a-swimming for Christmas, I assume you want to see my blood spilled that is not a present that is an assassination attempt
December 2, 2025 at 11:19 AM
I’ve been thinking about the worms on the de-worming chocolate box since I was a kid, I just think they’re such fun little guys! they each look like such a good hang
November 24, 2025 at 11:13 PM