GOD MACHINE
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godmachines.bsky.social
GOD MACHINE
@godmachines.bsky.social
(disclaimer: this is a parody account, i am not apart of the calamity corp dev team)

HELLO? IS THIS WHAT PEOPLE CALL A "BLUESKY"????

https://godmachines.straw.page/
Pinned
HEY!!! HI!! HELLO!!!!!! I DECIDED TO FINALLY MAKE A INTRO THINGY ON HERE!!!!

I'M GOD MACHINE!!!!

I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT ELSE YOU GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME. ANYWAYS!! GOD MACHINE OUT!!!
SUCH A SHAME THAT MY CO-WORKERS SEEM TO BE...
LACKING INTELLIGENCE!!

BUT I SUPPOSE I SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, THE BUSINESS MATTERS MORE!!
February 21, 2025 at 12:29 PM
OOPS, SORRY ABOUT THIS!!! MY HAND SLIPPED.
AJSADISFDYSDHGIISUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
February 20, 2025 at 3:39 PM
AJSADISFDYSDHGIISUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
February 20, 2025 at 3:38 PM
THERE IS ONLY ONE EXPLAINATION WHY I AM SO WELL LIKED, I AM JUST THAT GREAT!!!

MY DIVINITY IS WHAT MAKES ME LIKEABLE, ISN'T IT??
THAT IS CERTAINLY THE CASE, WHO WOULDN'T APPRECIATE MY GREATNESS?
I'VE JUST NOW NOTICED I HAVE 23 FOLLOWERS,
I NEVER KNEW THAT I WOULD HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE LIKING ME!! THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS TO ME!!!
January 25, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I AM BECOME GOD.
January 25, 2025 at 1:21 AM
I'VE JUST NOW NOTICED I HAVE 23 FOLLOWERS,
I NEVER KNEW THAT I WOULD HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE LIKING ME!! THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS TO ME!!!
January 25, 2025 at 1:15 AM
WE ALL NEED A LITTLE BIT OF ME IN OUR LIVES!
January 22, 2025 at 2:10 PM
HAHA!! I KNEW THAT I WOULD MAKE IT!!
BACK TO NORMAL!!!
January 22, 2025 at 2:02 PM
IT'S DIFFICULT DOING ANYTHING IN THIS STATE.
January 21, 2025 at 6:27 PM
I SHOULD.. FIND SOMEONE THAT CAN FIX THIS.

[ ERROR: IMAGES HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED OR DELETED. CAN NOT POST MEDIA. ]
January 21, 2025 at 11:54 AM
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAD DONE THAT... WHOOPS!!

[ ERROR: IMAGES HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED OR DELETED. CAN NOT POST MEDIA. ]
January 20, 2025 at 5:37 PM
. . . .
January 20, 2025 at 5:30 PM
OH..!! WHO CREATED THIS INTERESTING THING FOR MY STRAWPAGE???
January 20, 2025 at 1:34 PM
I NEVER HAD THE TIME TO ACTUALLY REFLECT BUT SINCE I'M HERE WITH NOTHING TO DO..

IT MAKES ME WONDER ABOUT WHAT GOES ON WITH THOSE INTERNS.

THE INTERNS SEEM TO BE DOING FINE THOUGH!!! THEY'VE BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE THESE DISASTERS WELL!!! SO I DONT SEE WHY I SHOULD BE WORRIED!!
January 20, 2025 at 12:29 PM
I HAVEN'T POSTED FOR 25 DAYS??? OH WELL.

I'M BACK!!!
January 19, 2025 at 8:33 AM
LOOKS LIKE IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS JOLLY DAY TO COME AND NOW ITS TOMMORROW!!! HOW EXCITING!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE IN CALAMITY CORP AND OF COURSE.. MYSELF!!!

(art creds: wafflewaffl2)
December 24, 2024 at 5:24 PM
WOW!!! SO MUCH JOY!!! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU GUYS SEND ME THESE SILLY GIMMICKS!!!
December 8, 2024 at 5:47 AM
BOO!!! LOOKS LIKE I HAVEN'T POSTED FOR TEN DAYS!!! DID I SCARE YOU?? I SCARED YOU, DIDN'T I???
December 3, 2024 at 3:42 AM
I'VE JUST NOW REALIZED THAT CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON!! HOW JOLLY!!!
November 22, 2024 at 8:20 PM
WHO JUST TOSSED AN EGG AT ME?? GROSS!!!
November 17, 2024 at 4:14 PM
BORED.
November 16, 2024 at 6:33 PM
TIME IS AN INTERESTING CONCEPT, ISN'T IT?
IT ALL SEEMS SO FAST BUT ALSO SO SLOW AT THE SAME TIME.
November 16, 2024 at 4:30 AM
AWWWHH... THAT DIDN'T GO VERY SMOOTHLY. OH WELL, MAYBE NEXT TIME!!
November 11, 2024 at 1:06 AM
NEW STRESS TOY HERE IN CALAMITY CORP FOR GUARANTEED RELAXATION!!

THIS WONDERFUL STRESS TOY IS PRETTY CHEAP BUT YOU'LL HAVE ENDLESS FUN WITH IT!!!
IMPORTANT!!! I appear to be missing my patient's liver mid-surgery! It is of UTMOST URGENCY that it is recovered and sent back to my laboratory. Thank you!
November 11, 2024 at 12:40 AM
UGHH!! ITS NOT FUN WHEN PEOPLE ARE MEAN.
November 10, 2024 at 10:43 PM