telling my children that the plane delivering their letters to santa unfortunately went down over the arctic seas. and yes they must shoulder some of the blame

hanging out in the pedal bin aisle so women think i’m a home owner

🎶now you’re just some lady that i used to know 🎶

the coming democratic backlash will see austin's comedy mothership burned to the ground. tony hinchcliffe will be made to do land acknowledgements before state-mandated punching up

Whenever the timeline has me convinced something major has just happened in world politics it is almost certainly just some shit about baseball

This is like Hunter S Thompson’s “The Wave” speech for guys that were too stupid to invest in the stock market

this seems totally nuts and the only explanation I can think of is just less public familiarity with the case

if there's any silver lining here, business is booming for the etsy witches

i could have probably told you a tron reboot starring a disgraced cultist, in 2025 was gonna flop - but as per usual, the hollywood big wigs decided NOT to call me!

please post rare turing_polices

sequel to About a Boy that’s shows him getting one job then getting back into Mario Kart at 33 years of age.

massively impressed by henry cavill seemingly having shooters in every franchise - even ones he’s not even in. if you went by youtube comments you’d think he had played James Bond for a decade and not just an annoying group of people’s fantasy.

Alistair MacLean you would have loved letterboxd