A New York Times review found more than 38,000 Trump-related references across 5,300 newly released Epstein files, as the Justice Department said it found no credible basis for further investigation.

If you’ve ever wanted to get paid for doing absolutely nothing, your time has finally come, as long as you don't mind spending that time in a dark theater watching Melania Trump’s life story. Despite Donald Trump’s social media flex that the new documentary "Melania" was “selling out fast,” the reality on the ground looks a lot more like a private screening for one. The situation has gotten so desperate that a Craigslist ad recently went viral, offering Boston viewers free tickets plus $50 just to sit through the film. The ad, which was spotted and shared by producer Nate Gilbert, didn’t have many strings attached other than one hilarious condition: you actually have to stay. “Attend MELANIA documentary at any Boston area theatre during opening weekend,” the post read, promising “Free tickets + $50 per seat occupied,” with the stern warning that viewers “must remain in seats for entirety of film.” Apparently, the fear of people taking the money and running ten minutes in is very real. Amazon reportedly shelled out a staggering $40 million for the rights to this film, which chronicles the First Lady's journey leading up to the 2025 inauguration. But even with Jeff Bezos’s backing, the box office numbers are looking like a total flop. Screenshots from ticketing sites show that at Boston’s largest theater, not a single seat was sold for opening night. Journalist Jack Quann shared the same sentiments in Dublin, that only 13 tickets were sold across two theaters. In Toronto, the situation was even more tragic, leading one X user to joke, “Not one ticket sold yet for #Melania. Hope this movie makes 7 bucks.” Forecasters like CNN’s Harry Enten are projecting a total haul between $1 million and $5 million, which would be a massive L for Amazon, given their total $75 million investment when you factor in marketing. While Trump is busy calling the empty theaters "fake news," the rest of the world is busy laughing at the fact that you literally have to pay people to watch it. If you're in the Boston area and need a quick fifty, you might want to head to the theater, just make sure you bring a pillow, because staying in that seat for the full runtime might be the hardest job you’ll ever have.