Epiphora
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epiphora.bsky.social
Epiphora
@epiphora.bsky.social
I have a very discerning vagina. Sex writer + sex toy connoisseur for over 17 years. 🌈 {she/her}

https://heyepiphora.com
https://heyepiphora.com/subscribe

💌 hey.epiphora@gmail.com
📸 IG: instagram.com/heyepiphora
Pinned
Hey, I'm Piph! 👋 I masturbate for a living so you can find the best sex toys!

🌈 Read my work: piph.it

🏆 Fave toys: piph.it/faves
💖 Fave shops: piph.it/shops
💸 Sales + deals: piph.it/deals

📸 IG: piph.it/insta
Hey Epiphora » Where sex toys go to be judged
A trusted source for relentlessly honest sex toy reviews and snarky musings since 2008. Hi, I’m Piph, and I have a very discerning vagina.
piph.it
Reposted by Epiphora
I hate that "online videos is no longer a viable career path" is now a genre of videos, but this one from stevie boebi is a very good rundown on how being a queer content creator has been a nightmare this past decade.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jroJ...
what happened to stevie boebi?
YouTube video by stevie boebi
www.youtube.com
June 12, 2025 at 1:06 AM
I remember back when admitting I was into "incest" porn felt edgy AF. I had to seek it out, and in most scenes, effort was put into selling the illusion.

Now it's just an oversaturated, essentially meaningless category on Pornhub.

Pshhhh, I was into it before it was cool 😤
April 25, 2025 at 8:17 PM
SSRIs are wild. 💊 I started Lexapro and I've gone from being able to time my orgasms down to the second, followed by more orgasms basically whenever I want, to spending an HOUR+ chasing a SINGLE orgasm.
April 25, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Once, I was trapped in a Verizon store, and the sales associate found out what I do for a living. Far too delighted, she launched into a whole spiel about a male friend of hers who started a business for mailing a dildo to your enemies. 😑
April 20, 2025 at 8:31 PM
HEY I'm still waiting on reviews of my Sims porn. COME ON, PEOPLE, VALIDATE MY WEIRDNESS
Okay, freaks! Here's the Sims porn I shot and edited!

Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.

What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?

drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...

#piphplayssims
April 14, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Okay, freaks! Here's the Sims porn I shot and edited!

Set in a beach house on a romantic vacation, it's 14 minutes of making out, teasing, and lots and lots of blowjobs.

What do you think, do I have natural talent or what?

drive.google.com/file/d/1zy2D...

#piphplayssims
April 13, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
YES. I make it so all Sims can use all animations. I love the auto-equipping of the strap-on.
April 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Oh, you watch pre-shot porn of actual humans?

Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪

#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Today's the day I "officially" left Twitter and FB.

I've been checked out for a long time, but I finally sat down and wrote a proper send-off. I wasn't content walking away from these platforms without some closure.

So here's my last Twitter thread 🧵👇
April 2, 2025 at 11:53 PM
🤡 Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective! 🤡

Every April Fool's, something weird has happened on my blog. Today: a hysterical look back at all my crazy jokes, from whimsical to bizarre, with behind-the-scenes details, photos, and multimedia flourishes.

🤣 piph.it/retrospective
Dildo jokes forever: a 15-year April Fool's retrospective » Hey Epiphora — Where sex toys go to be judged
Yes, I fucked myself with fruits and vegetables. Yes, I masturbated with a 100-year-old vibrator. Yes, I stuffed a bunch of mini dildos in my vagina.
piph.it
April 1, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Visible or not, I love you. I'm with you. 🏳️‍⚧️

They can't erase what I know to be true: trans people are FUCKING AMAZING. Kind. Hilarious. Inspiring. Braver than cis people in so many ways.

I am deeply grateful for all my trans friends and readers.

You're not alone. Keep going. #TransDayofVisibility
March 31, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
It’s trans day of visibility! Being visible honestly doesn’t feel safe these days! I feel like we need trans day of vengeance at this point
March 31, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
This #TransDayofVisibility you should give trans people some money (or even buy them a pizza)

But seriously, buy our games, our books, fund our gofundmes, help us when you can.

It's so rough right now for trans folks and knowing that people still care means so much.
March 31, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
today is the trans day of visibility and now is a good time to remember that trans people built this place into what it is

I would not have made this my new internet home if I had not met so many kind, wonderful trans people here and made friends with them

let them live their damn lives in peace
March 31, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
Took me 35 years but I finally used my own fingers to fuck myself.

I'd give it a C.
December 22, 2024 at 6:29 PM
Maybe too niche, but this is one of my favorite tweets ever. I still think about it when I'm in the grocery store. 🤣
Spotted this from afar at the grocery store and thought, "what, why does Safeway have a rainbow clitoris display?"

GUYS I'M HOPELESS
March 30, 2025 at 3:49 AM
"When I'm in town, can I try some of your toys?" — @justdustyrhodes.bsky.social

I took this request SERIOUSLY and made staying in my guest room a VIP experience ✨ Ask for the "naughty special" and choose your toys from my menu. They will be laid out for you, washed, with waterproof blanket & lube!
March 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
Whoever signed up Elon Musk's dumb shit for our dildo newsletter, from the bottom of our hearts: Thank you, we love you ❤️
February 24, 2025 at 7:39 PM
brb signing the government up for some sweet discounts 😏
February 24, 2025 at 2:16 AM
June 2016.
Rapists & abusers get endorsement deals, get off with 6 months, get forgiveness, get fame. Beautiful queer people are dying in the streets.
January 24, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Reposted by Epiphora
trying to write a dildo review and my brain just keeps going "did you know that we're doomed as a species :)"

yes but I STILL HAVE WORK TO DO, SHUT UP
January 24, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Currently importing my old tweets here. My 16 YEARS OF TWEETS.

So uh, if you catch me saying something weird here in the next couple days, don't blame me... blame PAST ME!
December 19, 2024 at 12:39 AM
Reposted by Epiphora
I'm resharing the starter pack of reviewers I made, now with 100% more @epiphora.bsky.social

go.bsky.app/DHunSg5
December 18, 2024 at 10:37 PM
Lovers of fanfic: once your post-nut clarity wears off, don't forget to go comment on the fic that did it for you. 🍒 Writers on AO3 are working tirelessly to give us these orgasms!
December 14, 2024 at 12:07 AM