Epiphora
@epiphora.bsky.social
I have a very discerning vagina. Sex writer + sex toy connoisseur for over 17 years. 🌈 {she/her}
https://heyepiphora.com
https://heyepiphora.com/subscribe
💌 hey.epiphora@gmail.com
📸 IG: instagram.com/heyepiphora
https://heyepiphora.com
https://heyepiphora.com/subscribe
💌 hey.epiphora@gmail.com
📸 IG: instagram.com/heyepiphora
The sex animations from Wicked Whims are very fun. I was a little too excited to find this last one, entitled "Fucking your Mouth like a Fleshlight."
#piphplayssims
#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The sex animations from Wicked Whims are very fun. I was a little too excited to find this last one, entitled "Fucking your Mouth like a Fleshlight."
#piphplayssims
#piphplayssims
Others have designed far more Intricate rooms. Here's one I downloaded called "Under the Sea."
LET'S FUCK AT THE AQUARIUM.
#piphplayssims
LET'S FUCK AT THE AQUARIUM.
#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Others have designed far more Intricate rooms. Here's one I downloaded called "Under the Sea."
LET'S FUCK AT THE AQUARIUM.
#piphplayssims
LET'S FUCK AT THE AQUARIUM.
#piphplayssims
It's almost TOO much power, being able to have them fuck in whatever setting I want. So, sure, I made a camping room, why not.
#piphplayssims
#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 5:57 PM
It's almost TOO much power, being able to have them fuck in whatever setting I want. So, sure, I made a camping room, why not.
#piphplayssims
#piphplayssims
I'm playing Sims, of course, with the mods Wicked Whims (so they can fuck) and Nisa's Wicked Perversions (so I can have a strip club).
Enjoy this pretty rose-colored lighting in a room at my strip club and a bathroom in the basement of a gay bar.
#piphplayssims
Enjoy this pretty rose-colored lighting in a room at my strip club and a bathroom in the basement of a gay bar.
#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 5:52 PM
I'm playing Sims, of course, with the mods Wicked Whims (so they can fuck) and Nisa's Wicked Perversions (so I can have a strip club).
Enjoy this pretty rose-colored lighting in a room at my strip club and a bathroom in the basement of a gay bar.
#piphplayssims
Enjoy this pretty rose-colored lighting in a room at my strip club and a bathroom in the basement of a gay bar.
#piphplayssims
Oh, you watch pre-shot porn of actual humans?
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
April 10, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Oh, you watch pre-shot porn of actual humans?
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
Well *I* create my OWN PERSONAL PORN in the Sims, so there! 🤪
#piphplayssims
Back then, our social feeds served us ONLY what we wanted to see, not what was controversial, promoted, or trending. On Twitter, unlike other platforms, we could post boobs and buttholes and all kinds of nefarious shit.
For a long while, I was even verified! I was SO COOL!
For a long while, I was even verified! I was SO COOL!
April 2, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Back then, our social feeds served us ONLY what we wanted to see, not what was controversial, promoted, or trending. On Twitter, unlike other platforms, we could post boobs and buttholes and all kinds of nefarious shit.
For a long while, I was even verified! I was SO COOL!
For a long while, I was even verified! I was SO COOL!
2023
🍌 Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo? 🍌 piph.it/af2023
Masturbating with a banana would've sufficed. But no, I had to compare it to a yam, carrot, piece of corn, and, mercifully, cucumber.
I've ripened a banana with nothing more than the heat of my vagina. Have you?
🍌 Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo? 🍌 piph.it/af2023
Masturbating with a banana would've sufficed. But no, I had to compare it to a yam, carrot, piece of corn, and, mercifully, cucumber.
I've ripened a banana with nothing more than the heat of my vagina. Have you?
April 1, 2025 at 6:03 PM
2023
🍌 Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo? 🍌 piph.it/af2023
Masturbating with a banana would've sufficed. But no, I had to compare it to a yam, carrot, piece of corn, and, mercifully, cucumber.
I've ripened a banana with nothing more than the heat of my vagina. Have you?
🍌 Produce fucking: which fruit or veggie makes the best dildo? 🍌 piph.it/af2023
Masturbating with a banana would've sufficed. But no, I had to compare it to a yam, carrot, piece of corn, and, mercifully, cucumber.
I've ripened a banana with nothing more than the heat of my vagina. Have you?
2022
📼 Sex blogger field notes: audio journal 📼
I recorded audio notes with my phone for weeks, presenting my life as if I were ~out in the field~. As if my masturbation sessions were groundbreaking research. Then I shot videos like this. It was one of my most intensive jokes.
piph.it/af2022
📼 Sex blogger field notes: audio journal 📼
I recorded audio notes with my phone for weeks, presenting my life as if I were ~out in the field~. As if my masturbation sessions were groundbreaking research. Then I shot videos like this. It was one of my most intensive jokes.
piph.it/af2022
April 1, 2025 at 5:52 PM
2022
📼 Sex blogger field notes: audio journal 📼
I recorded audio notes with my phone for weeks, presenting my life as if I were ~out in the field~. As if my masturbation sessions were groundbreaking research. Then I shot videos like this. It was one of my most intensive jokes.
piph.it/af2022
📼 Sex blogger field notes: audio journal 📼
I recorded audio notes with my phone for weeks, presenting my life as if I were ~out in the field~. As if my masturbation sessions were groundbreaking research. Then I shot videos like this. It was one of my most intensive jokes.
piph.it/af2022
2021
📝 Piph Libs™ 📝 piph.it/af2021
Piph Libs™ is my only joke that truly gives back to you, my people.
Dorky and rip-roaring funny, my mad libs are about masturbation, sex shops, porn, squirting, and more — and (still) available in both online and printable form!
For your next game night?
📝 Piph Libs™ 📝 piph.it/af2021
Piph Libs™ is my only joke that truly gives back to you, my people.
Dorky and rip-roaring funny, my mad libs are about masturbation, sex shops, porn, squirting, and more — and (still) available in both online and printable form!
For your next game night?
April 1, 2025 at 5:45 PM
2021
📝 Piph Libs™ 📝 piph.it/af2021
Piph Libs™ is my only joke that truly gives back to you, my people.
Dorky and rip-roaring funny, my mad libs are about masturbation, sex shops, porn, squirting, and more — and (still) available in both online and printable form!
For your next game night?
📝 Piph Libs™ 📝 piph.it/af2021
Piph Libs™ is my only joke that truly gives back to you, my people.
Dorky and rip-roaring funny, my mad libs are about masturbation, sex shops, porn, squirting, and more — and (still) available in both online and printable form!
For your next game night?
2020
🛎️ Are you my next Dildo Butler? 🛎️ piph.it/af2020
For years, I joked about wanting a butler. So in 2020, I solicited applications, seeking candidates who could stand by during my masturbation sessions to wait on my every need: bring me snacks, replenish lube, wash everything afterward...
🛎️ Are you my next Dildo Butler? 🛎️ piph.it/af2020
For years, I joked about wanting a butler. So in 2020, I solicited applications, seeking candidates who could stand by during my masturbation sessions to wait on my every need: bring me snacks, replenish lube, wash everything afterward...
April 1, 2025 at 5:34 PM
2020
🛎️ Are you my next Dildo Butler? 🛎️ piph.it/af2020
For years, I joked about wanting a butler. So in 2020, I solicited applications, seeking candidates who could stand by during my masturbation sessions to wait on my every need: bring me snacks, replenish lube, wash everything afterward...
🛎️ Are you my next Dildo Butler? 🛎️ piph.it/af2020
For years, I joked about wanting a butler. So in 2020, I solicited applications, seeking candidates who could stand by during my masturbation sessions to wait on my every need: bring me snacks, replenish lube, wash everything afterward...
2019
🕰️ Vintage vibrators 🕰️ piph.it/af2019
One of my best posts EVER. I masturbated with three antique vibrators. One, from 1925, was powered by screwing the end into a lightbulb socket. Didn't know whether I'd have an orgasm or be electrocuted!
Tons of fun history about early vibrators in this.
🕰️ Vintage vibrators 🕰️ piph.it/af2019
One of my best posts EVER. I masturbated with three antique vibrators. One, from 1925, was powered by screwing the end into a lightbulb socket. Didn't know whether I'd have an orgasm or be electrocuted!
Tons of fun history about early vibrators in this.
April 1, 2025 at 5:24 PM
2019
🕰️ Vintage vibrators 🕰️ piph.it/af2019
One of my best posts EVER. I masturbated with three antique vibrators. One, from 1925, was powered by screwing the end into a lightbulb socket. Didn't know whether I'd have an orgasm or be electrocuted!
Tons of fun history about early vibrators in this.
🕰️ Vintage vibrators 🕰️ piph.it/af2019
One of my best posts EVER. I masturbated with three antique vibrators. One, from 1925, was powered by screwing the end into a lightbulb socket. Didn't know whether I'd have an orgasm or be electrocuted!
Tons of fun history about early vibrators in this.
2018
💦 Piph Lube 💦 piph.it/af2018
My own lube, with unique ingredients chosen for their psychoactive properties: caffeine, cannabis, catnip, "queer magic."
Also, it was full of glitter, but still totally body-safe! Trust me!
There was even a product page to buy it, and it fooled Nina Hartley. 🏆
💦 Piph Lube 💦 piph.it/af2018
My own lube, with unique ingredients chosen for their psychoactive properties: caffeine, cannabis, catnip, "queer magic."
Also, it was full of glitter, but still totally body-safe! Trust me!
There was even a product page to buy it, and it fooled Nina Hartley. 🏆
April 1, 2025 at 5:16 PM
2018
💦 Piph Lube 💦 piph.it/af2018
My own lube, with unique ingredients chosen for their psychoactive properties: caffeine, cannabis, catnip, "queer magic."
Also, it was full of glitter, but still totally body-safe! Trust me!
There was even a product page to buy it, and it fooled Nina Hartley. 🏆
💦 Piph Lube 💦 piph.it/af2018
My own lube, with unique ingredients chosen for their psychoactive properties: caffeine, cannabis, catnip, "queer magic."
Also, it was full of glitter, but still totally body-safe! Trust me!
There was even a product page to buy it, and it fooled Nina Hartley. 🏆
2017
😻 Cat takeover 😻 piph.it/af2017
My three cats, jealous of my fame, took over my blog. It was an immersive art experience, with a red laser dot cursor, three purr tracks to listen to, and silly reviews in the voices of my felines.
You can even view the site directly as it was on that day!!
😻 Cat takeover 😻 piph.it/af2017
My three cats, jealous of my fame, took over my blog. It was an immersive art experience, with a red laser dot cursor, three purr tracks to listen to, and silly reviews in the voices of my felines.
You can even view the site directly as it was on that day!!
April 1, 2025 at 5:08 PM
2017
😻 Cat takeover 😻 piph.it/af2017
My three cats, jealous of my fame, took over my blog. It was an immersive art experience, with a red laser dot cursor, three purr tracks to listen to, and silly reviews in the voices of my felines.
You can even view the site directly as it was on that day!!
😻 Cat takeover 😻 piph.it/af2017
My three cats, jealous of my fame, took over my blog. It was an immersive art experience, with a red laser dot cursor, three purr tracks to listen to, and silly reviews in the voices of my felines.
You can even view the site directly as it was on that day!!
2016
🤏 Tiny dildos 🤏 piph.it/af2016
I masturbated with teeny weeny, matchstick-length dildos, then wrote about it as if that was a normal thing to do. Most people know it as the year I played vaginal chubby bunny.
I won't ruin the surprise and tell you how many I fit in there... read the post!
🤏 Tiny dildos 🤏 piph.it/af2016
I masturbated with teeny weeny, matchstick-length dildos, then wrote about it as if that was a normal thing to do. Most people know it as the year I played vaginal chubby bunny.
I won't ruin the surprise and tell you how many I fit in there... read the post!
April 1, 2025 at 4:54 PM
2016
🤏 Tiny dildos 🤏 piph.it/af2016
I masturbated with teeny weeny, matchstick-length dildos, then wrote about it as if that was a normal thing to do. Most people know it as the year I played vaginal chubby bunny.
I won't ruin the surprise and tell you how many I fit in there... read the post!
🤏 Tiny dildos 🤏 piph.it/af2016
I masturbated with teeny weeny, matchstick-length dildos, then wrote about it as if that was a normal thing to do. Most people know it as the year I played vaginal chubby bunny.
I won't ruin the surprise and tell you how many I fit in there... read the post!
2015
📽️ Video review: Princessa 📽️ piph.it/af2015
Possibly the worst orgasm of my life??
The plan: lull you into a false sense of comfort at first, then devolve into chaos.
It's a 12-minute journey of visual delights and absurd quips. Here's a clip; see the rest here: piph.it/af2015
📽️ Video review: Princessa 📽️ piph.it/af2015
Possibly the worst orgasm of my life??
The plan: lull you into a false sense of comfort at first, then devolve into chaos.
It's a 12-minute journey of visual delights and absurd quips. Here's a clip; see the rest here: piph.it/af2015
April 1, 2025 at 4:50 PM
2015
📽️ Video review: Princessa 📽️ piph.it/af2015
Possibly the worst orgasm of my life??
The plan: lull you into a false sense of comfort at first, then devolve into chaos.
It's a 12-minute journey of visual delights and absurd quips. Here's a clip; see the rest here: piph.it/af2015
📽️ Video review: Princessa 📽️ piph.it/af2015
Possibly the worst orgasm of my life??
The plan: lull you into a false sense of comfort at first, then devolve into chaos.
It's a 12-minute journey of visual delights and absurd quips. Here's a clip; see the rest here: piph.it/af2015
2014
💸 Say hi to my new sponsors! 💸 piph.it/af2014
In 2014 I asked the question, "if I were really famous, which companies would I get to sponsor my life?" I pretended Taco Bell answered my DMs, Converse let me design my own shoes, and Bounty sent me paper towels for life. I WISH.
💸 Say hi to my new sponsors! 💸 piph.it/af2014
In 2014 I asked the question, "if I were really famous, which companies would I get to sponsor my life?" I pretended Taco Bell answered my DMs, Converse let me design my own shoes, and Bounty sent me paper towels for life. I WISH.
April 1, 2025 at 4:38 PM
2014
💸 Say hi to my new sponsors! 💸 piph.it/af2014
In 2014 I asked the question, "if I were really famous, which companies would I get to sponsor my life?" I pretended Taco Bell answered my DMs, Converse let me design my own shoes, and Bounty sent me paper towels for life. I WISH.
💸 Say hi to my new sponsors! 💸 piph.it/af2014
In 2014 I asked the question, "if I were really famous, which companies would I get to sponsor my life?" I pretended Taco Bell answered my DMs, Converse let me design my own shoes, and Bounty sent me paper towels for life. I WISH.
To seal the deal, I composed a cinematic masterpiece with stock footage alone. I used flowers and fireworks to signify orgasm and asked my partner to compose music that sounded like the combination of a tampon, yogurt, and mini van commercial — complete with orgasmic crescendo. 🎶 piph.it/af2013
April 1, 2025 at 4:32 PM
To seal the deal, I composed a cinematic masterpiece with stock footage alone. I used flowers and fireworks to signify orgasm and asked my partner to compose music that sounded like the combination of a tampon, yogurt, and mini van commercial — complete with orgasmic crescendo. 🎶 piph.it/af2013
2013
🚗 The Joy Ride 🚗 piph.it/af2013
A fake crowdfunding campaign for the Joy Ride, a car seat cover with an O-ring sewn into the seat... for mounting a dildo. So safe!
Many add-ons, including a Privacy Blanket!
My blog was an ad for this disaster, complete with Perks for those who donated.
🚗 The Joy Ride 🚗 piph.it/af2013
A fake crowdfunding campaign for the Joy Ride, a car seat cover with an O-ring sewn into the seat... for mounting a dildo. So safe!
Many add-ons, including a Privacy Blanket!
My blog was an ad for this disaster, complete with Perks for those who donated.
![List of Perks for the fake crowdfunding campaign. If you donated $1, we would thank you by "traveling to the beach, writing your name in the sand, and watching as the waves wash it away."
For $1,000, I would "grace your household with [my] presence long enough to pet your cats and then depart, leaving your felines in a state of bliss for at least the next 72 hours."
Big spenders could contribute $2,500 for something even more special: "we will personally place five Joy Rides in a time capsule for your future grandchildren and bury them in a secret location. We will carefully monitor the whereabouts of your grandchildren, and when they are of appropriate age, we'll send them discreet directions to dig up this supreme treasure."](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:tgyohigtfaiajg4ft22zu7bl/bafkreidulfvr5jvzgrfsxoi2miub3qxzahrfwsczheurildhehoj4dktcm@jpeg)
April 1, 2025 at 4:29 PM
2013
🚗 The Joy Ride 🚗 piph.it/af2013
A fake crowdfunding campaign for the Joy Ride, a car seat cover with an O-ring sewn into the seat... for mounting a dildo. So safe!
Many add-ons, including a Privacy Blanket!
My blog was an ad for this disaster, complete with Perks for those who donated.
🚗 The Joy Ride 🚗 piph.it/af2013
A fake crowdfunding campaign for the Joy Ride, a car seat cover with an O-ring sewn into the seat... for mounting a dildo. So safe!
Many add-ons, including a Privacy Blanket!
My blog was an ad for this disaster, complete with Perks for those who donated.
2012
👀 A few changes around here 👀
I was more sly. I didn't re-design my site; I simply published a post announcing some "upcoming changes" to my blog, such as reviewing camo-printed penis weights, misogynistic ebooks, and a sickly yellow jizz towel. (Embroidery upon request.)
piph.it/af2012
👀 A few changes around here 👀
I was more sly. I didn't re-design my site; I simply published a post announcing some "upcoming changes" to my blog, such as reviewing camo-printed penis weights, misogynistic ebooks, and a sickly yellow jizz towel. (Embroidery upon request.)
piph.it/af2012
April 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
2012
👀 A few changes around here 👀
I was more sly. I didn't re-design my site; I simply published a post announcing some "upcoming changes" to my blog, such as reviewing camo-printed penis weights, misogynistic ebooks, and a sickly yellow jizz towel. (Embroidery upon request.)
piph.it/af2012
👀 A few changes around here 👀
I was more sly. I didn't re-design my site; I simply published a post announcing some "upcoming changes" to my blog, such as reviewing camo-printed penis weights, misogynistic ebooks, and a sickly yellow jizz towel. (Embroidery upon request.)
piph.it/af2012
2011
💅 ~*~*~*~* Adult intimate product review!! *~*~*~*~ — 💅
Another design overhaul, but WORSE. Illegible as shit. I wrote a review from the perspective of a mommy blogger. Excruciatingly heterosexual!
Site auto-played a MIDI version of "Truly Madly Deeply." 💀
piph.it/af2011 (including MIDI)
💅 ~*~*~*~* Adult intimate product review!! *~*~*~*~ — 💅
Another design overhaul, but WORSE. Illegible as shit. I wrote a review from the perspective of a mommy blogger. Excruciatingly heterosexual!
Site auto-played a MIDI version of "Truly Madly Deeply." 💀
piph.it/af2011 (including MIDI)
April 1, 2025 at 4:11 PM
2011
💅 ~*~*~*~* Adult intimate product review!! *~*~*~*~ — 💅
Another design overhaul, but WORSE. Illegible as shit. I wrote a review from the perspective of a mommy blogger. Excruciatingly heterosexual!
Site auto-played a MIDI version of "Truly Madly Deeply." 💀
piph.it/af2011 (including MIDI)
💅 ~*~*~*~* Adult intimate product review!! *~*~*~*~ — 💅
Another design overhaul, but WORSE. Illegible as shit. I wrote a review from the perspective of a mommy blogger. Excruciatingly heterosexual!
Site auto-played a MIDI version of "Truly Madly Deeply." 💀
piph.it/af2011 (including MIDI)
2010
🍒 Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong 🍒
I dug into the code of my site and absolutely ruined it. A nauseating bubblegum pink re-design with an unhinged fake review of a gross jelly dildo. Highlights included a dizzying .GIF background, Comic Sans, and a header featuring awful toys.
piph.it/af2010
🍒 Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong 🍒
I dug into the code of my site and absolutely ruined it. A nauseating bubblegum pink re-design with an unhinged fake review of a gross jelly dildo. Highlights included a dizzying .GIF background, Comic Sans, and a header featuring awful toys.
piph.it/af2010
April 1, 2025 at 4:05 PM
2010
🍒 Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong 🍒
I dug into the code of my site and absolutely ruined it. A nauseating bubblegum pink re-design with an unhinged fake review of a gross jelly dildo. Highlights included a dizzying .GIF background, Comic Sans, and a header featuring awful toys.
piph.it/af2010
🍒 Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong 🍒
I dug into the code of my site and absolutely ruined it. A nauseating bubblegum pink re-design with an unhinged fake review of a gross jelly dildo. Highlights included a dizzying .GIF background, Comic Sans, and a header featuring awful toys.
piph.it/af2010
"When I'm in town, can I try some of your toys?" — @justdustyrhodes.bsky.social
I took this request SERIOUSLY and made staying in my guest room a VIP experience ✨ Ask for the "naughty special" and choose your toys from my menu. They will be laid out for you, washed, with waterproof blanket & lube!
I took this request SERIOUSLY and made staying in my guest room a VIP experience ✨ Ask for the "naughty special" and choose your toys from my menu. They will be laid out for you, washed, with waterproof blanket & lube!
March 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
"When I'm in town, can I try some of your toys?" — @justdustyrhodes.bsky.social
I took this request SERIOUSLY and made staying in my guest room a VIP experience ✨ Ask for the "naughty special" and choose your toys from my menu. They will be laid out for you, washed, with waterproof blanket & lube!
I took this request SERIOUSLY and made staying in my guest room a VIP experience ✨ Ask for the "naughty special" and choose your toys from my menu. They will be laid out for you, washed, with waterproof blanket & lube!
brb signing the government up for some sweet discounts 😏
February 24, 2025 at 2:16 AM
brb signing the government up for some sweet discounts 😏
Food is cool and all, but have you tried ORGASMS? Feast your eyes on this beautiful dildo pile, and let it inspire you to find the perfect toy this Black Friday.
🪐 Enjoy epic sales from my fave retailers. Get anything your heart and genitals desire!
bit.ly/piphbf2024
🪐 Enjoy epic sales from my fave retailers. Get anything your heart and genitals desire!
bit.ly/piphbf2024
December 23, 2024 at 7:08 PM
Food is cool and all, but have you tried ORGASMS? Feast your eyes on this beautiful dildo pile, and let it inspire you to find the perfect toy this Black Friday.
🪐 Enjoy epic sales from my fave retailers. Get anything your heart and genitals desire!
bit.ly/piphbf2024
🪐 Enjoy epic sales from my fave retailers. Get anything your heart and genitals desire!
bit.ly/piphbf2024
💙🩵💙🩵 V O T E 💙🩵💙🩵
Need specifics on how to vote in your state? 🗳️ I've been volunteering with @Swifties4Kamala and I'm very proud of this page I helped with—featuring in-depth info by state:🌊
Take care of yourselves today/this week, friends. 💗
swifties4kamala.com/youre-not-alon…
Need specifics on how to vote in your state? 🗳️ I've been volunteering with @Swifties4Kamala and I'm very proud of this page I helped with—featuring in-depth info by state:🌊
Take care of yourselves today/this week, friends. 💗
swifties4kamala.com/youre-not-alon…
December 23, 2024 at 7:08 PM
💙🩵💙🩵 V O T E 💙🩵💙🩵
Need specifics on how to vote in your state? 🗳️ I've been volunteering with @Swifties4Kamala and I'm very proud of this page I helped with—featuring in-depth info by state:🌊
Take care of yourselves today/this week, friends. 💗
swifties4kamala.com/youre-not-alon…
Need specifics on how to vote in your state? 🗳️ I've been volunteering with @Swifties4Kamala and I'm very proud of this page I helped with—featuring in-depth info by state:🌊
Take care of yourselves today/this week, friends. 💗
swifties4kamala.com/youre-not-alon…