Marcus
@elgobsucram.bsky.social
Probably playing devil's advocate. Probably eating. Probably playing some RPG. Probably horny. Scientist and regulatory specialist.
I'm in more trouble with my friends, proud members of TheTwinks™️, because I said they're delusional psychopaths for thinking astrology means fucking anything, besides selling tat and excusing shitty behaviour 💀
January 24, 2026 at 12:19 PM
I'm in more trouble with my friends, proud members of TheTwinks™️, because I said they're delusional psychopaths for thinking astrology means fucking anything, besides selling tat and excusing shitty behaviour 💀
Gym mate 1: "You need to arch your back more, for fuck's sake, why aren't you getting this"
Gym mate 2: *passing by* "You know these tops, not natural for them"
Me: "Can you holes fuck off"
Gym mate 2: "No, this is OUR territory, for once. We get to own the place. Now ARCH"
I can't disagree.
Gym mate 2: *passing by* "You know these tops, not natural for them"
Me: "Can you holes fuck off"
Gym mate 2: "No, this is OUR territory, for once. We get to own the place. Now ARCH"
I can't disagree.
January 24, 2026 at 11:48 AM
Gym mate 1: "You need to arch your back more, for fuck's sake, why aren't you getting this"
Gym mate 2: *passing by* "You know these tops, not natural for them"
Me: "Can you holes fuck off"
Gym mate 2: "No, this is OUR territory, for once. We get to own the place. Now ARCH"
I can't disagree.
Gym mate 2: *passing by* "You know these tops, not natural for them"
Me: "Can you holes fuck off"
Gym mate 2: "No, this is OUR territory, for once. We get to own the place. Now ARCH"
I can't disagree.
Every gay looked at Renly Baratheon when Stannis was right there.
I mean, we overlook the fratricide and filicide, but... Daddy.
I mean, we overlook the fratricide and filicide, but... Daddy.
January 24, 2026 at 11:25 AM
Every gay looked at Renly Baratheon when Stannis was right there.
I mean, we overlook the fratricide and filicide, but... Daddy.
I mean, we overlook the fratricide and filicide, but... Daddy.
Fucking hellllll Manchester
January 24, 2026 at 9:29 AM
Fucking hellllll Manchester
Really fucks me off seeing these influencer knobbers spending their whole video chatting shit holding that dumbfuck square microphone to their mouths.
January 24, 2026 at 6:45 AM
Really fucks me off seeing these influencer knobbers spending their whole video chatting shit holding that dumbfuck square microphone to their mouths.
Friday post-gym mischief managed
a close up of a woman 's face with a disney logo on the bottom right
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with a disney logo on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
January 23, 2026 at 7:04 PM
Friday post-gym mischief managed
Me on a Teams call the second I saw the guy coordinating my panel testing
a man in a red shirt and white shorts is standing on a tennis court holding a tennis racquet .
ALT: a man in a red shirt and white shorts is standing on a tennis court holding a tennis racquet .
media.tenor.com
January 23, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Me on a Teams call the second I saw the guy coordinating my panel testing
The public: we can't have digital ID, it'll let the government invade our privacy
Also the public: let's rely on *a data harvesting program known to be stealing and using data, replacing humans and destroying the environment*, owned by a select few individuals, for every aspect of our lives
Also the public: let's rely on *a data harvesting program known to be stealing and using data, replacing humans and destroying the environment*, owned by a select few individuals, for every aspect of our lives
January 22, 2026 at 6:23 PM
The public: we can't have digital ID, it'll let the government invade our privacy
Also the public: let's rely on *a data harvesting program known to be stealing and using data, replacing humans and destroying the environment*, owned by a select few individuals, for every aspect of our lives
Also the public: let's rely on *a data harvesting program known to be stealing and using data, replacing humans and destroying the environment*, owned by a select few individuals, for every aspect of our lives
We have a line of products with the prefix "BB". We've just developed product BB69, and my gay ass is barely holding it together.
January 22, 2026 at 4:50 PM
We have a line of products with the prefix "BB". We've just developed product BB69, and my gay ass is barely holding it together.
I have questions about this sweat patch...
January 22, 2026 at 7:12 AM
I have questions about this sweat patch...
The friend who was being bitter about my sex life yesterday, said today that he has gonorrhoea. So I sent him this image of Klaptrap, from Donkey Kong, and waited 3 hours for the explosion when he searched it, saw the name and made the connection. Worth it.
January 21, 2026 at 6:44 PM
The friend who was being bitter about my sex life yesterday, said today that he has gonorrhoea. So I sent him this image of Klaptrap, from Donkey Kong, and waited 3 hours for the explosion when he searched it, saw the name and made the connection. Worth it.
Boss' sick mum was supposed to fly home tomorrow, which had to be changed. Boss, on speakerphone to BA, asked how much to change the flight. "£3000", they said.
"FUCKING BETTER HAD NOT BE YOU ROBBING BASTARDS", I accidentally let slip.
Again, this was speakerphone.
Anyway, price slashed in half.
"FUCKING BETTER HAD NOT BE YOU ROBBING BASTARDS", I accidentally let slip.
Again, this was speakerphone.
Anyway, price slashed in half.
January 21, 2026 at 5:52 PM
Boss' sick mum was supposed to fly home tomorrow, which had to be changed. Boss, on speakerphone to BA, asked how much to change the flight. "£3000", they said.
"FUCKING BETTER HAD NOT BE YOU ROBBING BASTARDS", I accidentally let slip.
Again, this was speakerphone.
Anyway, price slashed in half.
"FUCKING BETTER HAD NOT BE YOU ROBBING BASTARDS", I accidentally let slip.
Again, this was speakerphone.
Anyway, price slashed in half.
The only sensible Boomer
January 21, 2026 at 1:57 PM
The only sensible Boomer
It's so frustrating seeing MAGA agree with Trump rhta Greenland will be welcoming to his invasion , when not a year ago they baked "Trump Moron" cakes and MAGA lost their shit over it.
January 21, 2026 at 11:07 AM
It's so frustrating seeing MAGA agree with Trump rhta Greenland will be welcoming to his invasion , when not a year ago they baked "Trump Moron" cakes and MAGA lost their shit over it.
Gays really don't like being called out on their bullshit, do they.
"I'll make you cum"
"you've been saying that for 7 months but there's always another guy you'd rather have"
*left on read*
"we really need to fuck again"
"bf let you off the leash? He's always the last-minute excuse"
*block*
"I'll make you cum"
"you've been saying that for 7 months but there's always another guy you'd rather have"
*left on read*
"we really need to fuck again"
"bf let you off the leash? He's always the last-minute excuse"
*block*
January 21, 2026 at 8:48 AM
Gays really don't like being called out on their bullshit, do they.
"I'll make you cum"
"you've been saying that for 7 months but there's always another guy you'd rather have"
*left on read*
"we really need to fuck again"
"bf let you off the leash? He's always the last-minute excuse"
*block*
"I'll make you cum"
"you've been saying that for 7 months but there's always another guy you'd rather have"
*left on read*
"we really need to fuck again"
"bf let you off the leash? He's always the last-minute excuse"
*block*
I have no idea what's going on with the Beckhams, or why everyone is banging on about them, but I do know I really don't want to
January 20, 2026 at 9:48 PM
I have no idea what's going on with the Beckhams, or why everyone is banging on about them, but I do know I really don't want to
At this point I may as well be just gaybaiting the gym. But honestly, it's literally calisthenics.
January 20, 2026 at 8:40 PM
At this point I may as well be just gaybaiting the gym. But honestly, it's literally calisthenics.
Deeper, deeper, he yelled.
January 20, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Deeper, deeper, he yelled.
Took me 1 second in Trevor's 5 Seconds to Name to get Alicia Keys ❤️
a close up of a woman 's face with the words `` no one , no one '' .
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with the words `` no one , no one '' .
media.tenor.com
January 20, 2026 at 3:19 PM
Took me 1 second in Trevor's 5 Seconds to Name to get Alicia Keys ❤️
The way I read this in her voice after about 5 words, before I consciously realised what I was reading, should be studied.
i personally believe that us americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and i believe that our education like such as in south africa and the iraq everywhere like, such as,
January 20, 2026 at 1:20 PM
The way I read this in her voice after about 5 words, before I consciously realised what I was reading, should be studied.
My old PT has fallen into the regurgitating-influencer-products hole and posting AI video adverts of unregulated supplements on his WhatsApp story 😭
January 20, 2026 at 12:50 PM
My old PT has fallen into the regurgitating-influencer-products hole and posting AI video adverts of unregulated supplements on his WhatsApp story 😭
Donald Trump, a second generation immigrant, president of the United States, a country of immigrants, says Greenland shouldn't belong to Denmark because "boats of people can't just show up and claim land". No awareness. He genuinely believes it's different. The megalomania is astounding.
January 20, 2026 at 12:20 PM
Donald Trump, a second generation immigrant, president of the United States, a country of immigrants, says Greenland shouldn't belong to Denmark because "boats of people can't just show up and claim land". No awareness. He genuinely believes it's different. The megalomania is astounding.
The existential crisis of doing exactly what I want for my 40th or trying to appease people to make it *significantly* cheaper 💀
January 19, 2026 at 7:00 PM
The existential crisis of doing exactly what I want for my 40th or trying to appease people to make it *significantly* cheaper 💀
How is Trump going to blackmail - I mean, put tarrifs on - a handful of EU countries when they're a singular geopolitical trading block?
January 19, 2026 at 12:08 PM
How is Trump going to blackmail - I mean, put tarrifs on - a handful of EU countries when they're a singular geopolitical trading block?