Politics of Attachment | Dylan Smeder
@dylansmeder.bsky.social
Conversations about attachment theory stay personal.
But the work runs deeper—through politics, power, and the ways they shape how we love and feel safe.
I help people cultivate compassion and clarity that includes those realities.
dylansmeder.com
But the work runs deeper—through politics, power, and the ways they shape how we love and feel safe.
I help people cultivate compassion and clarity that includes those realities.
dylansmeder.com
Pinned
Attachment theory without a conscience for equity severs your connection with humanity.
#attachmentTheory #equity
#attachmentTheory #equity
Everyone else: If Democrats or Republicans are on the
Epstein list, lock them up.
MAGA: You’re just saying that to get rid of Trump.
Everyone else: …
MAGA: He’s not even on the list.
Epstein list, lock them up.
MAGA: You’re just saying that to get rid of Trump.
Everyone else: …
MAGA: He’s not even on the list.
November 13, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Everyone else: If Democrats or Republicans are on the
Epstein list, lock them up.
MAGA: You’re just saying that to get rid of Trump.
Everyone else: …
MAGA: He’s not even on the list.
Epstein list, lock them up.
MAGA: You’re just saying that to get rid of Trump.
Everyone else: …
MAGA: He’s not even on the list.
Your #attachmentStyle was your best survival strategy — it still thinks it’s saving your life.
The behaviors that sabotage relationships were once the smartest moves you had as a child.
The reaching, the shutdowns, the hyperthinking — emergency systems that don’t know the war has ended.
The behaviors that sabotage relationships were once the smartest moves you had as a child.
The reaching, the shutdowns, the hyperthinking — emergency systems that don’t know the war has ended.
November 12, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Your #attachmentStyle was your best survival strategy — it still thinks it’s saving your life.
The behaviors that sabotage relationships were once the smartest moves you had as a child.
The reaching, the shutdowns, the hyperthinking — emergency systems that don’t know the war has ended.
The behaviors that sabotage relationships were once the smartest moves you had as a child.
The reaching, the shutdowns, the hyperthinking — emergency systems that don’t know the war has ended.
This is why so many women struggle in relationships.
In a system run by men, he mistakes the scraps of compassion women get for “neglect.”
It’s that trad wife energy — but rebranded as victimhood.
In a system run by men, he mistakes the scraps of compassion women get for “neglect.”
It’s that trad wife energy — but rebranded as victimhood.
November 11, 2025 at 4:35 PM
This is why so many women struggle in relationships.
In a system run by men, he mistakes the scraps of compassion women get for “neglect.”
It’s that trad wife energy — but rebranded as victimhood.
In a system run by men, he mistakes the scraps of compassion women get for “neglect.”
It’s that trad wife energy — but rebranded as victimhood.
The man who’s sued company after company — purely out of civic duty, of course — definitely isn’t extorting the public with his tariffs.
November 11, 2025 at 8:02 AM
The man who’s sued company after company — purely out of civic duty, of course — definitely isn’t extorting the public with his tariffs.
Just a reminder —
Your racist boss isn't a good person and their unkindness towards you is a reflection of their soul and not yours.
You don't have to be perfect to be a good person but they ain't it.
Your racist boss isn't a good person and their unkindness towards you is a reflection of their soul and not yours.
You don't have to be perfect to be a good person but they ain't it.
November 11, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Just a reminder —
Your racist boss isn't a good person and their unkindness towards you is a reflection of their soul and not yours.
You don't have to be perfect to be a good person but they ain't it.
Your racist boss isn't a good person and their unkindness towards you is a reflection of their soul and not yours.
You don't have to be perfect to be a good person but they ain't it.
So much of #communication is about learning to speak in ways our partner can truly hear us — not just talk at them.
We repeat patterns from childhood without realizing it.
Finding safety within helps us show love while protecting ourselves.
#attachment #healing #boundaries
We repeat patterns from childhood without realizing it.
Finding safety within helps us show love while protecting ourselves.
#attachment #healing #boundaries
November 10, 2025 at 8:16 PM
So much of #communication is about learning to speak in ways our partner can truly hear us — not just talk at them.
We repeat patterns from childhood without realizing it.
Finding safety within helps us show love while protecting ourselves.
#attachment #healing #boundaries
We repeat patterns from childhood without realizing it.
Finding safety within helps us show love while protecting ourselves.
#attachment #healing #boundaries
Attachment theory without a conscience for equity severs your connection with humanity.
#attachmentTheory #equity
#attachmentTheory #equity
November 10, 2025 at 5:52 AM
Attachment theory without a conscience for equity severs your connection with humanity.
#attachmentTheory #equity
#attachmentTheory #equity
Healing asks us to make choices when there’s still a gaping wound.
That’s what makes it so hard.
We heal in relationship — by learning to protect ourselves and by owning the choices that didn’t work out.
#healing #attachmenthealing
That’s what makes it so hard.
We heal in relationship — by learning to protect ourselves and by owning the choices that didn’t work out.
#healing #attachmenthealing
November 9, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Healing asks us to make choices when there’s still a gaping wound.
That’s what makes it so hard.
We heal in relationship — by learning to protect ourselves and by owning the choices that didn’t work out.
#healing #attachmenthealing
That’s what makes it so hard.
We heal in relationship — by learning to protect ourselves and by owning the choices that didn’t work out.
#healing #attachmenthealing
Musk’s “eliminate poverty” talk feels like a Tinder guy promising marriage to get in your pants. Words are cheap.
November 9, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Musk’s “eliminate poverty” talk feels like a Tinder guy promising marriage to get in your pants. Words are cheap.
Yeah, when Trump owns the Supreme Court, do they really have to?
November 9, 2025 at 5:33 AM
Yeah, when Trump owns the Supreme Court, do they really have to?
The missing piece of #attachmentTheory is systemic oppression. Disconnection from our humanity isn’t healing — it’s the wound itself.
November 9, 2025 at 5:29 AM
The missing piece of #attachmentTheory is systemic oppression. Disconnection from our humanity isn’t healing — it’s the wound itself.
“The billionaire class has sought to convince those making $30-an-hour that their enemies are those earning $20-an-hour. They want the people to fight amongst ourselves so that we remain distracted from the work of remaking a long, broken system.”
— Zohran Mamdani
— Zohran Mamdani
November 8, 2025 at 8:59 PM
“The billionaire class has sought to convince those making $30-an-hour that their enemies are those earning $20-an-hour. They want the people to fight amongst ourselves so that we remain distracted from the work of remaking a long, broken system.”
— Zohran Mamdani
— Zohran Mamdani
That deep-seated feeling of #shame that appears when you say no or feel “too vulnerable” is a protection mechanism, learned early to survive unpredictability
For #anxious, #avoidant, or #fearfulavoidant attachers, it can look different
How does it come up in you?
Where do you feel it in your body?
For #anxious, #avoidant, or #fearfulavoidant attachers, it can look different
How does it come up in you?
Where do you feel it in your body?
November 7, 2025 at 7:36 PM
That deep-seated feeling of #shame that appears when you say no or feel “too vulnerable” is a protection mechanism, learned early to survive unpredictability
For #anxious, #avoidant, or #fearfulavoidant attachers, it can look different
How does it come up in you?
Where do you feel it in your body?
For #anxious, #avoidant, or #fearfulavoidant attachers, it can look different
How does it come up in you?
Where do you feel it in your body?
The folks pushing Trump to repeal the 22nd Amendment are gonna lose it when @barackobama.bsky.social is back in the White House.
November 7, 2025 at 3:14 PM
The folks pushing Trump to repeal the 22nd Amendment are gonna lose it when @barackobama.bsky.social is back in the White House.
People say “SNAP is for lazy people” or “for those with 8 baby daddies.”
#SNAP is attacked from every angle — by politicians who claim they can’t fund it because the government is shut down, while still funding ICE.
We could build safety nets that protect dignity instead of shame.
#SNAP is attacked from every angle — by politicians who claim they can’t fund it because the government is shut down, while still funding ICE.
We could build safety nets that protect dignity instead of shame.
November 6, 2025 at 9:04 PM
People say “SNAP is for lazy people” or “for those with 8 baby daddies.”
#SNAP is attacked from every angle — by politicians who claim they can’t fund it because the government is shut down, while still funding ICE.
We could build safety nets that protect dignity instead of shame.
#SNAP is attacked from every angle — by politicians who claim they can’t fund it because the government is shut down, while still funding ICE.
We could build safety nets that protect dignity instead of shame.
When you’re embodied, you become more attracted to your own peace than to people who would take it away.
You start to see your projections more clearly —
and grow patient enough to tell the difference between them and the person in front of you.
#attachmentTheory
You start to see your projections more clearly —
and grow patient enough to tell the difference between them and the person in front of you.
#attachmentTheory
November 4, 2025 at 6:59 PM
When you’re embodied, you become more attracted to your own peace than to people who would take it away.
You start to see your projections more clearly —
and grow patient enough to tell the difference between them and the person in front of you.
#attachmentTheory
You start to see your projections more clearly —
and grow patient enough to tell the difference between them and the person in front of you.
#attachmentTheory
Anxious attachers inherit gaslighting — from families, and from the systems around them.
It’s inherited from countries where denial is policy and truth is rewritten to protect power.
#anxiousAttachment #powerStructures
It’s inherited from countries where denial is policy and truth is rewritten to protect power.
#anxiousAttachment #powerStructures
November 4, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Anxious attachers inherit gaslighting — from families, and from the systems around them.
It’s inherited from countries where denial is policy and truth is rewritten to protect power.
#anxiousAttachment #powerStructures
It’s inherited from countries where denial is policy and truth is rewritten to protect power.
#anxiousAttachment #powerStructures
When safety depends on keeping the peace, your body learns that questioning yourself is safer than being questioned by others.
Sometimes that’s what love looked like growing up — confusing fear with safety.
#emotionalSafety
Sometimes that’s what love looked like growing up — confusing fear with safety.
#emotionalSafety
November 3, 2025 at 6:22 PM
When safety depends on keeping the peace, your body learns that questioning yourself is safer than being questioned by others.
Sometimes that’s what love looked like growing up — confusing fear with safety.
#emotionalSafety
Sometimes that’s what love looked like growing up — confusing fear with safety.
#emotionalSafety
Exactly!
Closeness and reassurance are healthy needs—not weaknesses. Relationships thrive when both people can ask for and offer safety.
Closeness and reassurance are healthy needs—not weaknesses. Relationships thrive when both people can ask for and offer safety.
You are not psychologically "weak" for craving closeness or reassurance-- & you are not "crazy" for resisting closeness or feeling guilty about needing reassurance, even as you crave it.
These are super common trauma wounds, that heal as we meet them w/ compassion & consistency.
These are super common trauma wounds, that heal as we meet them w/ compassion & consistency.
November 2, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Exactly!
Closeness and reassurance are healthy needs—not weaknesses. Relationships thrive when both people can ask for and offer safety.
Closeness and reassurance are healthy needs—not weaknesses. Relationships thrive when both people can ask for and offer safety.
Exactly. Nearly half of people in low-income areas live in food deserts—where healthy food isn’t an option, no matter how much they want it.
Why do people buy pizza with EBT?
Because cauliflower is five dollars a head and you can buy five pizzas with the same money.
It’s not that folks don’t want to be healthy. They can’t afford to be healthy.
Because cauliflower is five dollars a head and you can buy five pizzas with the same money.
It’s not that folks don’t want to be healthy. They can’t afford to be healthy.
November 2, 2025 at 6:26 AM
Exactly. Nearly half of people in low-income areas live in food deserts—where healthy food isn’t an option, no matter how much they want it.
“Money doesn’t buy happiness.”
Sure buys food.
Tell it to someone losing #SNAP while the president gets a marble toilet.
It’s easy to say money doesn’t matter when you’ve never had to choose between groceries and rent.
#economicjustice #poverty
Sure buys food.
Tell it to someone losing #SNAP while the president gets a marble toilet.
It’s easy to say money doesn’t matter when you’ve never had to choose between groceries and rent.
#economicjustice #poverty
November 1, 2025 at 6:46 PM
“Money doesn’t buy happiness.”
Sure buys food.
Tell it to someone losing #SNAP while the president gets a marble toilet.
It’s easy to say money doesn’t matter when you’ve never had to choose between groceries and rent.
#economicjustice #poverty
Sure buys food.
Tell it to someone losing #SNAP while the president gets a marble toilet.
It’s easy to say money doesn’t matter when you’ve never had to choose between groceries and rent.
#economicjustice #poverty
DON’T TEXT THEM
You know it’s unhealthy. You’ve tried — and tried again.
But your mind lights up, your body hums with the thought of reaching out.
We’ve all been there — the pull feels impossible to ignore.
#DontTextThem #AnxiousAttachment
You know it’s unhealthy. You’ve tried — and tried again.
But your mind lights up, your body hums with the thought of reaching out.
We’ve all been there — the pull feels impossible to ignore.
#DontTextThem #AnxiousAttachment
October 31, 2025 at 5:44 PM
DON’T TEXT THEM
You know it’s unhealthy. You’ve tried — and tried again.
But your mind lights up, your body hums with the thought of reaching out.
We’ve all been there — the pull feels impossible to ignore.
#DontTextThem #AnxiousAttachment
You know it’s unhealthy. You’ve tried — and tried again.
But your mind lights up, your body hums with the thought of reaching out.
We’ve all been there — the pull feels impossible to ignore.
#DontTextThem #AnxiousAttachment
Money is one of those topics people avoid —
but it shapes how we connect,
how we fight, and how we stay
People sometimes say, “Even rich people struggle,”
and that’s true —
but struggling with options
is different from struggling without them
#Survival can look like choosing groceries over therapy
but it shapes how we connect,
how we fight, and how we stay
People sometimes say, “Even rich people struggle,”
and that’s true —
but struggling with options
is different from struggling without them
#Survival can look like choosing groceries over therapy
October 30, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Money is one of those topics people avoid —
but it shapes how we connect,
how we fight, and how we stay
People sometimes say, “Even rich people struggle,”
and that’s true —
but struggling with options
is different from struggling without them
#Survival can look like choosing groceries over therapy
but it shapes how we connect,
how we fight, and how we stay
People sometimes say, “Even rich people struggle,”
and that’s true —
but struggling with options
is different from struggling without them
#Survival can look like choosing groceries over therapy