Doc Hap
@drhappyknuckles.bsky.social
Your relatively cool non-threatening dorky internet dad. I have no agenda. A tangled pulsating mass of neurosis and privilege. I’m sick of these bozos at city hall.
Pinned
Doc Hap
@drhappyknuckles.bsky.social
· Jan 28
STORY TIME! Things are pretty grim these days, so allow me to regale you with the heartwarming tale of the time I ‘subbed in’ for a lesbian at my senior prom. I’m doing this while cooking dinner and getting my kids to sleep, so apologies in advance if it takes awhile. (1/?)
I just saw this on my YouTube channel. It’s incredibly painful, but I’ve decided to ‘get out in front of the story’ before the media breaks it. Please respect my privacy and that of my family.
January 28, 2026 at 5:47 AM
I just saw this on my YouTube channel. It’s incredibly painful, but I’ve decided to ‘get out in front of the story’ before the media breaks it. Please respect my privacy and that of my family.
*creepy stephen miller voice* they are only supposed to shoot FEMALE nurses
January 28, 2026 at 5:24 AM
*creepy stephen miller voice* they are only supposed to shoot FEMALE nurses
Reposted by Doc Hap
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop disassociating.
January 27, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop disassociating.
My ideas journal is pretty amazing
January 27, 2026 at 10:06 PM
My ideas journal is pretty amazing
Sometimes I just need to find solace in the classics.
January 23, 2026 at 10:32 PM
Sometimes I just need to find solace in the classics.
NATO told Trump he can have the north pole if he assassinates Santa Claus.
January 22, 2026 at 12:29 PM
NATO told Trump he can have the north pole if he assassinates Santa Claus.
ROB REINER?!!!!!!!
December 15, 2025 at 5:43 AM
ROB REINER?!!!!!!!
There is a reason I don’t want anybody to see my search history and it’s not porn.
November 7, 2025 at 9:31 PM
There is a reason I don’t want anybody to see my search history and it’s not porn.
Please come back at another time I am currently emotionally
October 31, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Please come back at another time I am currently emotionally
I’ll nominate Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize myself if he shuts up and lets me think for five fucking minutes.
October 9, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I’ll nominate Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize myself if he shuts up and lets me think for five fucking minutes.
Reposted by Doc Hap
Murder! at the Vicarage
October 9, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Murder! at the Vicarage
Hear me out guys: Tai Chi orgy.
October 9, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Hear me out guys: Tai Chi orgy.
I’m afraid that I have made the difficult choice to begin charging you motherfuckers rent for living in my head.
October 8, 2025 at 11:39 PM
I’m afraid that I have made the difficult choice to begin charging you motherfuckers rent for living in my head.
Thinking of starting an OnlyFans for people who get off on middle-aged men eating entire pizzas and crying.
October 4, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Thinking of starting an OnlyFans for people who get off on middle-aged men eating entire pizzas and crying.
Exciting news guys, I just found a tiny little quadrant of my psyche that has no emotional wounds.
October 4, 2025 at 8:25 AM
Exciting news guys, I just found a tiny little quadrant of my psyche that has no emotional wounds.
Had sex today. Pleasantly surprised. Should’ve given this a try when I was younger.
October 2, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Had sex today. Pleasantly surprised. Should’ve given this a try when I was younger.
Always thought I’d eventually, reluctantly have to give up on Bill Burr. Never in a million years thought it would involve Saudi blood money.
October 2, 2025 at 5:27 AM
Always thought I’d eventually, reluctantly have to give up on Bill Burr. Never in a million years thought it would involve Saudi blood money.
Unfinished analogies are like screwdrivers
September 27, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Unfinished analogies are like screwdrivers
*slides into your dms* I have an eyebrow fetish.
September 27, 2025 at 11:31 AM
*slides into your dms* I have an eyebrow fetish.
CFO OF A LASER COMPANY (speaking on an earnings call): In summary, we’re ’laser-focused’ on maximizing investor returns this quarter! Ha-ha, see what I did there? Seriously, though, this new government contract to build a weapon that shoots immigrants from space is fantastic news.
September 27, 2025 at 9:21 AM
CFO OF A LASER COMPANY (speaking on an earnings call): In summary, we’re ’laser-focused’ on maximizing investor returns this quarter! Ha-ha, see what I did there? Seriously, though, this new government contract to build a weapon that shoots immigrants from space is fantastic news.
Hey, did you guys know that there’s a building full of toxic garbage right in the middle of Austin, Texas? It’s called the Comedy Mothership.
September 25, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Hey, did you guys know that there’s a building full of toxic garbage right in the middle of Austin, Texas? It’s called the Comedy Mothership.
Sometimes I eat things simply to confirm that I’m not a ghost yet.
September 25, 2025 at 6:53 AM
Sometimes I eat things simply to confirm that I’m not a ghost yet.
Gonna sabotage every goddamn escalator Trump rides from now on, just try to stop me.
September 25, 2025 at 6:31 AM
Gonna sabotage every goddamn escalator Trump rides from now on, just try to stop me.
Hey y’all. It’s my birthday! On July 24th, 2024 I was so close to dying that I coded in the ER and the doctors were telling my family I might be brain dead even if I made it. Today I’m gonna show my kids ‘E.T.’ for the first time. Don’t let the bastards fool you: being alive is worth it.
September 22, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Hey y’all. It’s my birthday! On July 24th, 2024 I was so close to dying that I coded in the ER and the doctors were telling my family I might be brain dead even if I made it. Today I’m gonna show my kids ‘E.T.’ for the first time. Don’t let the bastards fool you: being alive is worth it.