Fortschritt durch die Zerstörung von Computern
@direlog.bsky.social
sex cop. world hero. american moral terminus
Pinned
my dream wedding:
MAN BURSTING INTO CHURCH: stop! stop! that's not roslyn wellbelove! you're about marry *morgan skullgrave*!
CHURCHGOERS: *gasp in unison*
ME (turning, resplendent in my wedding-dress fashioned of swan-wings and conflict ivory, baring teeth filed to wicked points): i know
MAN BURSTING INTO CHURCH: stop! stop! that's not roslyn wellbelove! you're about marry *morgan skullgrave*!
CHURCHGOERS: *gasp in unison*
ME (turning, resplendent in my wedding-dress fashioned of swan-wings and conflict ivory, baring teeth filed to wicked points): i know
calling up the police chief to say i think crime is bad while grinning and giving my lawyer a huge thumbs up
February 11, 2026 at 8:29 AM
calling up the police chief to say i think crime is bad while grinning and giving my lawyer a huge thumbs up
Reposted by Fortschritt durch die Zerstörung von Computern
I think we have to consider that possibly writing a book entitled "Harry Potter and the..." is what makes people go insane
February 10, 2026 at 7:56 PM
I think we have to consider that possibly writing a book entitled "Harry Potter and the..." is what makes people go insane
he’s finally realised that all the uppers and downers he’s been taking have done for his heart
Elon Musk's ambition to one day settle Mars appears to have taken a back seat for a rather nearer and more achievable goal – sending humans to live on the moon. https://cnn.it/46sbAMm
February 10, 2026 at 12:46 AM
he’s finally realised that all the uppers and downers he’s been taking have done for his heart
my favourite guilty pleasure? clicking the "yes, i'm human" button
February 9, 2026 at 11:37 PM
my favourite guilty pleasure? clicking the "yes, i'm human" button
on the mysterious gameshow, i discovered a horrifying truth
February 9, 2026 at 11:34 PM
on the mysterious gameshow, i discovered a horrifying truth
if you time it JUST right the city city monologue fits perfectly with laura palmer's theme
February 9, 2026 at 12:15 AM
if you time it JUST right the city city monologue fits perfectly with laura palmer's theme
(alt text) a screenshot of a videogame. a silhouetted man wearing a military uniform holds up one fist glowing with a strange power. the caption reads, “DARK HITLER: Yes, you have done well, my child. Now bring me the crystals!” graphics look to be ps2 era
February 9, 2026 at 12:01 AM
(alt text) a screenshot of a videogame. a silhouetted man wearing a military uniform holds up one fist glowing with a strange power. the caption reads, “DARK HITLER: Yes, you have done well, my child. Now bring me the crystals!” graphics look to be ps2 era
you finally notice the covers of your favourite musician's albums depict her, in order: levering herself out of a river, sprinting slick apelike naked through the street; overturning a cop car with a swipe of her hand; skidding into your street; tearing your door off its hinges. you painted it pink
February 8, 2026 at 11:55 PM
you finally notice the covers of your favourite musician's albums depict her, in order: levering herself out of a river, sprinting slick apelike naked through the street; overturning a cop car with a swipe of her hand; skidding into your street; tearing your door off its hinges. you painted it pink
i fought alongside your father in the gemstone wars
February 8, 2026 at 11:43 PM
i fought alongside your father in the gemstone wars
i never heard of this "clavicular" person before today but it's wild how every sentence in his wikipedia page seems to come from a different nightmare
February 8, 2026 at 6:32 PM
i never heard of this "clavicular" person before today but it's wild how every sentence in his wikipedia page seems to come from a different nightmare
Reposted by Fortschritt durch die Zerstörung von Computern
short story - “suicide vest”
February 6, 2026 at 7:53 PM
short story - “suicide vest”
2025 was insanely bad for me and sucked on levels i didn't even know imagined. and to add insult to injury, it was very boring and seemed to last forever. every week in 2026 has been its own centuries-long epoch in which some obscure god pops out of the shrubbery to weigh me down with benisons
February 8, 2026 at 12:10 AM
2025 was insanely bad for me and sucked on levels i didn't even know imagined. and to add insult to injury, it was very boring and seemed to last forever. every week in 2026 has been its own centuries-long epoch in which some obscure god pops out of the shrubbery to weigh me down with benisons
Reposted by Fortschritt durch die Zerstörung von Computern
the one on the left had this thing she would do where, each night, before they prayed, she would ask her sister to lie to her about the best and worst things that happened to her that day. her sister would spend a lot of her day thinking about how she was going to answer. they were happy for a while
you know there's a bunch of guys upset about the forensic anthropologists not "making them hot enough"
August 8, 2025 at 5:56 PM
the one on the left had this thing she would do where, each night, before they prayed, she would ask her sister to lie to her about the best and worst things that happened to her that day. her sister would spend a lot of her day thinking about how she was going to answer. they were happy for a while
Reposted by Fortschritt durch die Zerstörung von Computern
@theonion.com is so worth the subscription for this
January 31, 2026 at 2:40 PM
@theonion.com is so worth the subscription for this
personal news: i have broken a rib, partly by coughing, partly by pounding my own chest with the heel of my palm. pleased to say the novelty of this pain hasn't worn off yet
February 6, 2026 at 11:14 PM
personal news: i have broken a rib, partly by coughing, partly by pounding my own chest with the heel of my palm. pleased to say the novelty of this pain hasn't worn off yet
Reposted by Fortschritt durch die Zerstörung von Computern
if deepak chopra saw an angel he would call the cops
if deepak chopra wants to step to me he can die gurgling. the only reason he sounds like that is that he tries to sound like us. we've been doing this longer. we do it better. and we will keep doing long after he's dirt
February 5, 2026 at 11:47 PM
if deepak chopra saw an angel he would call the cops
stop skipping breakfast! in this episode we'll look at how to glitch through the wall of your apartment and consume your neighbour's rich meat
February 6, 2026 at 9:43 PM
stop skipping breakfast! in this episode we'll look at how to glitch through the wall of your apartment and consume your neighbour's rich meat
Windows Fennel Subsystem For Italians
February 6, 2026 at 9:42 PM
Windows Fennel Subsystem For Italians
releasing a mechanical keyboard you can only acquire by killing someone who already owns one
February 6, 2026 at 9:41 PM
releasing a mechanical keyboard you can only acquire by killing someone who already owns one
friday night? oh, no, sorry. i'll be undergoing my unwilling transformation
February 5, 2026 at 10:26 PM
friday night? oh, no, sorry. i'll be undergoing my unwilling transformation
yes it could be a normal woman wearing normal perfume and carrying a normal bottle labelled POISON with a big normal skull and crossbones on. or it could be the Perfumed Poisoner. are you willing to take that chance?
February 2, 2026 at 7:26 PM
yes it could be a normal woman wearing normal perfume and carrying a normal bottle labelled POISON with a big normal skull and crossbones on. or it could be the Perfumed Poisoner. are you willing to take that chance?
who can be wise, amazed, temperate, and furious, loyal, and neutral, in a moment? me. i can. i'm killing it
February 2, 2026 at 10:50 AM
who can be wise, amazed, temperate, and furious, loyal, and neutral, in a moment? me. i can. i'm killing it
perhaps as a result of my interest in science, i have recently succumbed to Full Demonic Possession
February 1, 2026 at 9:21 PM
perhaps as a result of my interest in science, i have recently succumbed to Full Demonic Possession