Tim Houston - Premier of Nova Scotia Parody
@dimhouston.bsky.social
Parody: Not the Premier of Nova Scotia. Serious posts signed by ND.
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Announcing Mööber!
Our moose-powered rideshare is an eco-friendly, sustainable alternative to cars. We’re training Nova Scotia’s moose population to carry passengers along rural roads and Halifax streets.
Had one too many wobbly pops? Missed the school bus? Call a Mööber!
Our moose-powered rideshare is an eco-friendly, sustainable alternative to cars. We’re training Nova Scotia’s moose population to carry passengers along rural roads and Halifax streets.
Had one too many wobbly pops? Missed the school bus? Call a Mööber!
New Interprovincial Superiority Tax
Anyone caught publicly praising New Brunswick must pay a $75 Perspective Adjustment Fee and you’re automatically enrolled in a 6-week seminar titled: “You’re Confused and That’s Okay” with guest speaker, Barb Adams.
#nsbudget2026
Anyone caught publicly praising New Brunswick must pay a $75 Perspective Adjustment Fee and you’re automatically enrolled in a 6-week seminar titled: “You’re Confused and That’s Okay” with guest speaker, Barb Adams.
#nsbudget2026
February 19, 2026 at 1:49 PM
New Interprovincial Superiority Tax
Anyone caught publicly praising New Brunswick must pay a $75 Perspective Adjustment Fee and you’re automatically enrolled in a 6-week seminar titled: “You’re Confused and That’s Okay” with guest speaker, Barb Adams.
#nsbudget2026
Anyone caught publicly praising New Brunswick must pay a $75 Perspective Adjustment Fee and you’re automatically enrolled in a 6-week seminar titled: “You’re Confused and That’s Okay” with guest speaker, Barb Adams.
#nsbudget2026
We’re officially dropping the 2026 budget on Monday. I’ll be posting a few teasers this week. For instance:
Official Provincial Fight Slogan: “Tits Up”
We’re not going down. We’re just strategically horizontal.
$4.3 million for T-shirts nobody asked for, but will definitely want.
#NSbudget2026
Official Provincial Fight Slogan: “Tits Up”
We’re not going down. We’re just strategically horizontal.
$4.3 million for T-shirts nobody asked for, but will definitely want.
#NSbudget2026
February 19, 2026 at 1:08 PM
We’re officially dropping the 2026 budget on Monday. I’ll be posting a few teasers this week. For instance:
Official Provincial Fight Slogan: “Tits Up”
We’re not going down. We’re just strategically horizontal.
$4.3 million for T-shirts nobody asked for, but will definitely want.
#NSbudget2026
Official Provincial Fight Slogan: “Tits Up”
We’re not going down. We’re just strategically horizontal.
$4.3 million for T-shirts nobody asked for, but will definitely want.
#NSbudget2026
Legend goes, Rick deleted his tweet because he’s an absolute self-owning dumbass. -ND
February 18, 2026 at 8:30 PM
Legend goes, Rick deleted his tweet because he’s an absolute self-owning dumbass. -ND
Our diversity lens is very thorough. We asked ourselves: are they all related? The answer was only mostly. That’s MacProgress.
Houston government: “racial and cultural diversity are among the criteria for the appointment of judges”
Also Houston government: appoints 3 people with last names that start with “Mac”
Also Houston government: appoints 3 people with last names that start with “Mac”
Province Appoints Three Judges to Provincial Court
news.novascotia.ca
February 14, 2026 at 4:47 PM
Our diversity lens is very thorough. We asked ourselves: are they all related? The answer was only mostly. That’s MacProgress.
I just heard of this Galentine’s Day thing. It’s terrifying, honestly. A room full of women comparing notes? It’s like an audit! Definitely a coordinated effort by Big Candle!
February 14, 2026 at 1:58 AM
I just heard of this Galentine’s Day thing. It’s terrifying, honestly. A room full of women comparing notes? It’s like an audit! Definitely a coordinated effort by Big Candle!
Re-normalization of the rat race, power-inefficient offices, stupid water cooler banter, cheap ass-reaming toilet paper, bad coffee and dealing with gross handsy coworkers is all about people who buy and sell real estate. Their investments mean nothing unless they’re used regularly. That’s it. -ND
February 13, 2026 at 8:35 PM
Re-normalization of the rat race, power-inefficient offices, stupid water cooler banter, cheap ass-reaming toilet paper, bad coffee and dealing with gross handsy coworkers is all about people who buy and sell real estate. Their investments mean nothing unless they’re used regularly. That’s it. -ND
$10/day daycare delayed because Brendan blew the entire budget on high-thread-count underwear for something called “municipal diplomacy.”
February 12, 2026 at 10:11 PM
$10/day daycare delayed because Brendan blew the entire budget on high-thread-count underwear for something called “municipal diplomacy.”
Get your prostates checked. -ND
BREAKING: James Van Der Beek, the titular character and star of 'Dawson's Creek,' died at the age of 48 after a battle with cancer, his wife announced on social media reut.rs/4c8wpAn
February 11, 2026 at 8:18 PM
Get your prostates checked. -ND
To be fair, it was the CNIB. They couldn’t see us lying about the red tape and we didn’t listen. Lots of confusion!
February 9, 2026 at 3:02 PM
To be fair, it was the CNIB. They couldn’t see us lying about the red tape and we didn’t listen. Lots of confusion!
This government is going to donate millions to mental health by offering group scream sessions at the Prince George Hotel parkade all winter. We’ll still fine them all for loitering so it’ll probably pay for itself. You’re welcome.
February 6, 2026 at 11:49 PM
This government is going to donate millions to mental health by offering group scream sessions at the Prince George Hotel parkade all winter. We’ll still fine them all for loitering so it’ll probably pay for itself. You’re welcome.
I’ll be at Gateway Meat Market tomorrow at noon tossing out free Pictou-harbour-scented room diffusers to the lineup outside. If anyone’s asking that is.
Timmy is frustrating in part because he’s like … maybe even 75% legitimately good policies and the remaining 25% is cartoonishly evil shit for no reason.
February 6, 2026 at 11:14 PM
I’ll be at Gateway Meat Market tomorrow at noon tossing out free Pictou-harbour-scented room diffusers to the lineup outside. If anyone’s asking that is.
I’m a big fan of announcing optimism. Plus, remember: I invented the phrase “it’s all good.”
February 5, 2026 at 2:27 AM
I’m a big fan of announcing optimism. Plus, remember: I invented the phrase “it’s all good.”
I tried to keep my X account going in parallel. No more. I can’t be a part of a platform led by someone who repeatedly wanted to go to Epstein’s island. Plus, X is a negative shit hole that lost everything it once was & Elon can choke on a bag of dicks. I’m on BlueSky exclusively from here on. -ND
February 4, 2026 at 1:35 AM
I tried to keep my X account going in parallel. No more. I can’t be a part of a platform led by someone who repeatedly wanted to go to Epstein’s island. Plus, X is a negative shit hole that lost everything it once was & Elon can choke on a bag of dicks. I’m on BlueSky exclusively from here on. -ND
We are surrounded by wetlands: the ocean! Plenty of ocean. Don’t worry I’ll fuck those up somehow too.
Too bad Tim Houston doesn't care about destroying wetlands.
February 4, 2026 at 1:24 AM
We are surrounded by wetlands: the ocean! Plenty of ocean. Don’t worry I’ll fuck those up somehow too.
Reposted by Tim Houston - Premier of Nova Scotia Parody
In today's early bird Morning File, I wrote about this year's budget process at #Halifax regional council, which includes a bit on the "hill of hysteria."
www.halifaxexaminer.ca/morning-file...
www.halifaxexaminer.ca/morning-file...
As Halifax council nitpicks the budget, climate change ignores all deferrals - Halifax Examiner
The Hill of Hysteria is not one we should all die on.
www.halifaxexaminer.ca
February 3, 2026 at 1:16 PM
In today's early bird Morning File, I wrote about this year's budget process at #Halifax regional council, which includes a bit on the "hill of hysteria."
www.halifaxexaminer.ca/morning-file...
www.halifaxexaminer.ca/morning-file...
Vamooses it is!
Breaking: we finally confirmed moose are “naturally all-terrain” and therefore infrastructure.
Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm
Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm
February 2, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Vamooses it is!
Breaking: we finally confirmed moose are “naturally all-terrain” and therefore infrastructure.
Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm
Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm
February 2, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Breaking: we finally confirmed moose are “naturally all-terrain” and therefore infrastructure.
Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm
Our newly commandeered fleet of Cape Breton moose took to the streets tonight. What’s a great name for my new fleet of moose plows? #nsstorm
After digesting some Epstein files…it’s an old school punk kind of day for me. Fugazi, Dead Kennedys, Black Flag. That’s usually any day ending in y but yeah it’s long past time to define the basis for a modern soundtrack to revolution. It’s Generation X hardcore. -ND
February 1, 2026 at 4:40 PM
After digesting some Epstein files…it’s an old school punk kind of day for me. Fugazi, Dead Kennedys, Black Flag. That’s usually any day ending in y but yeah it’s long past time to define the basis for a modern soundtrack to revolution. It’s Generation X hardcore. -ND
Finally a photo of the Barrington Street pothole fire.
January 31, 2026 at 4:21 PM
Finally a photo of the Barrington Street pothole fire.
Reposted by Tim Houston - Premier of Nova Scotia Parody
Wanna go camping this weekend?
Sure, where?
In one of Halifax’s large potholes
Sure, where?
In one of Halifax’s large potholes
January 31, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Wanna go camping this weekend?
Sure, where?
In one of Halifax’s large potholes
Sure, where?
In one of Halifax’s large potholes
The NS Auditor General says our Need a Family Practice Registry’s KPI is misleading. I prefer the term strategically optimistic. Plus we didn’t lower access to care. We just lowered the standard for counting it.
January 31, 2026 at 1:58 PM
The NS Auditor General says our Need a Family Practice Registry’s KPI is misleading. I prefer the term strategically optimistic. Plus we didn’t lower access to care. We just lowered the standard for counting it.
I can’t believe we named a ferry after a MLB player who only hit .264. Even Jose Canseco hit .266.
We are hereby renaming this the Jose Canseco ferry.
We are hereby renaming this the Jose Canseco ferry.
The Vincent Coleman ferry is now expected to return to service by late February, rather than at the end of January as previously announced. Details: www.halifax.ca/home/news/up...
January 30, 2026 at 11:22 PM
I can’t believe we named a ferry after a MLB player who only hit .264. Even Jose Canseco hit .266.
We are hereby renaming this the Jose Canseco ferry.
We are hereby renaming this the Jose Canseco ferry.
We don’t see the value of the federal gun buyback program. Nova Scotia has enough trouble regulating when you can burn leaves, how tall your grass is, and whether your chicken feels residential enough. We WILL have to buyback your toasters for NS Power grid stability though.
January 29, 2026 at 10:48 PM
We don’t see the value of the federal gun buyback program. Nova Scotia has enough trouble regulating when you can burn leaves, how tall your grass is, and whether your chicken feels residential enough. We WILL have to buyback your toasters for NS Power grid stability though.