dani lamorte
@danilamorte.bsky.social
🌦️ PGH
📘 NOBODY’S PSYCHIC (UPK, Fall 2025)
🌱 👁️ 🎞️ 🌕 anything that eats the sun
https://linktr.ee/danilamorte
pfp: Centa Schumacher
📘 NOBODY’S PSYCHIC (UPK, Fall 2025)
🌱 👁️ 🎞️ 🌕 anything that eats the sun
https://linktr.ee/danilamorte
pfp: Centa Schumacher
Officially can no longer make sensible small talk at my own book events!!
You: congratulations
Me: what if there were smaller seltzer cans inside the seltzer cans? that’s my book and it is made of paper!!!
You: congratulations
Me: what if there were smaller seltzer cans inside the seltzer cans? that’s my book and it is made of paper!!!
November 16, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Officially can no longer make sensible small talk at my own book events!!
You: congratulations
Me: what if there were smaller seltzer cans inside the seltzer cans? that’s my book and it is made of paper!!!
You: congratulations
Me: what if there were smaller seltzer cans inside the seltzer cans? that’s my book and it is made of paper!!!
Voting for anyone who puts a limit on the number of words L*o H*rrera is allowed to use in a square Instagram post.
November 15, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Voting for anyone who puts a limit on the number of words L*o H*rrera is allowed to use in a square Instagram post.
Not right now, sweetie. Mommy’s letting someone she barely knows hurt her feelings.
November 15, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Not right now, sweetie. Mommy’s letting someone she barely knows hurt her feelings.
Unlike Pete Buttigiege, I'm walking around my house, making wonderful overtones on an A3 with a backed [u] vowel.
November 14, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Unlike Pete Buttigiege, I'm walking around my house, making wonderful overtones on an A3 with a backed [u] vowel.
Reposted by dani lamorte
happy FCF Fuck (I’m) Cold Friday
November 14, 2025 at 1:17 PM
happy FCF Fuck (I’m) Cold Friday
"u looking?"
uh, yeah. i'm looking towards the future with great concern and trepidation!!!
uh, yeah. i'm looking towards the future with great concern and trepidation!!!
November 14, 2025 at 4:29 PM
"u looking?"
uh, yeah. i'm looking towards the future with great concern and trepidation!!!
uh, yeah. i'm looking towards the future with great concern and trepidation!!!
grwm to be tired
November 14, 2025 at 1:14 PM
grwm to be tired
I feel that writing for @nytimes.com should disrupt a writer's sex lives for years, tbh.
Are we doing “just asking questions” with non-gender-related mental healthcare for minors now?
November 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I feel that writing for @nytimes.com should disrupt a writer's sex lives for years, tbh.
I have to finish what I'm working on so that I can rake a Pittsburgh journalist over the coals, honey.
November 12, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I have to finish what I'm working on so that I can rake a Pittsburgh journalist over the coals, honey.
Unfortunately I need to be ********* somebody while ******* **** ***
November 12, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Unfortunately I need to be ********* somebody while ******* **** ***
At risk of a repeat!
I stayed up too late reading poemmmmms
November 12, 2025 at 4:14 AM
At risk of a repeat!
Rare photo skeet
November 11, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Rare photo skeet
Writers: It's important to hook the reader with your first line.
Something like: "I don't want a lot for Christmas."
Something like: "I don't want a lot for Christmas."
November 11, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Writers: It's important to hook the reader with your first line.
Something like: "I don't want a lot for Christmas."
Something like: "I don't want a lot for Christmas."
I stayed up too late reading poemmmmms
November 11, 2025 at 4:55 AM
I stayed up too late reading poemmmmms
Reposted by dani lamorte
Sanctions on the United States until they start using proper date formats and the 24 hour clock
November 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Sanctions on the United States until they start using proper date formats and the 24 hour clock
It's Monday and they're already calling me a brick.
November 10, 2025 at 6:47 PM
It's Monday and they're already calling me a brick.
Reposted by dani lamorte
Kim Davis certified loser bitch see u in hell
November 10, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Kim Davis certified loser bitch see u in hell
“We gotta vote for the lesser of two evils”
“We gotta vote for harm reduction”
Girl, if you don’t put the caps back on the Sharpie markers and open a window…
“We gotta vote for harm reduction”
Girl, if you don’t put the caps back on the Sharpie markers and open a window…
November 10, 2025 at 3:55 AM
“We gotta vote for the lesser of two evils”
“We gotta vote for harm reduction”
Girl, if you don’t put the caps back on the Sharpie markers and open a window…
“We gotta vote for harm reduction”
Girl, if you don’t put the caps back on the Sharpie markers and open a window…
Lord, I see what you’ve done for Dick Cheney and I’m asking you to do it for the Democrats 🙏
November 10, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Lord, I see what you’ve done for Dick Cheney and I’m asking you to do it for the Democrats 🙏
Just blocked an Instagram account that suggested you can make chili crisp with just chilis, oil, and minced garlic.
I will not allow this msg / Sichuan peppercorn marginalization!
I will not allow this msg / Sichuan peppercorn marginalization!
November 9, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Just blocked an Instagram account that suggested you can make chili crisp with just chilis, oil, and minced garlic.
I will not allow this msg / Sichuan peppercorn marginalization!
I will not allow this msg / Sichuan peppercorn marginalization!
Reposted by dani lamorte
Wait I can’t believe Zohran said this you guys
November 9, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Wait I can’t believe Zohran said this you guys
I repotted all my houseplants and I was NOT brave about it.
November 9, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I repotted all my houseplants and I was NOT brave about it.
I am taking an uber and remembering how much I don’t like taking an uber. I would rather wait 30 minutes in the cold
for a bus.
for a bus.
November 7, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I am taking an uber and remembering how much I don’t like taking an uber. I would rather wait 30 minutes in the cold
for a bus.
for a bus.
New marketing strategy for artists: become the mayor of New York City
November 6, 2025 at 4:11 PM
New marketing strategy for artists: become the mayor of New York City
Having a cup of coffee at 5:00 PM and yes this is a good idea.
November 5, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Having a cup of coffee at 5:00 PM and yes this is a good idea.