Pinned
Crab Man
@crabman.bsky.social
· Feb 4
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Reposted by Crab Man
Guys what caste system are baristas ? Me and crab man are wondering
November 11, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Guys what caste system are baristas ? Me and crab man are wondering
Caffhounds when they can't drink a "cup of joe".
November 11, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Caffhounds when they can't drink a "cup of joe".
Baristas are the LAST group of people you want to go on strike if you're trying to order a drink at a coffee shop.
November 11, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Baristas are the LAST group of people you want to go on strike if you're trying to order a drink at a coffee shop.
"Least likely to deserve love" is a ridiculously cruel superlative to give anyone. It doesn't matter who it was that won it my senior year.
November 11, 2025 at 4:37 AM
"Least likely to deserve love" is a ridiculously cruel superlative to give anyone. It doesn't matter who it was that won it my senior year.
Reposted by Crab Man
They should make an app that makes your phone screen rough like sandpaper
November 10, 2025 at 9:01 PM
They should make an app that makes your phone screen rough like sandpaper
Reposted by Crab Man
I bought new pants Crab Man Pants today and now I am making sweet love to my wife every day
November 11, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I bought new pants Crab Man Pants today and now I am making sweet love to my wife every day
Reposted by Crab Man
Remembered seeing this a while ago back on twitter
March 7, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Remembered seeing this a while ago back on twitter
So you're all telling me that this is some sort of amazing new show? Apple TV subscribers are insane people.
November 11, 2025 at 1:43 AM
So you're all telling me that this is some sort of amazing new show? Apple TV subscribers are insane people.
Reposted by Crab Man
Okay it is a relief to know that by simply entering a store and asking for “Crab Man Pants” I will be able to get them
November 11, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Okay it is a relief to know that by simply entering a store and asking for “Crab Man Pants” I will be able to get them
Reposted by Crab Man
(trying to impress the waitress after my friend orders a soda) i'll actually have two sodas
November 11, 2025 at 1:35 AM
(trying to impress the waitress after my friend orders a soda) i'll actually have two sodas
You may not like it, but this is the quintessential crab man post. This is what it's all about.
My mom just texted me that there is a "Tropic Thunder-style guy" at the club. Mom it's 10AM, go to work!
November 11, 2025 at 1:00 AM
You may not like it, but this is the quintessential crab man post. This is what it's all about.
My mom just texted me that there is a "Tropic Thunder-style guy" at the club. Mom it's 10AM, go to work!
November 10, 2025 at 5:31 PM
My mom just texted me that there is a "Tropic Thunder-style guy" at the club. Mom it's 10AM, go to work!
Reposted by Crab Man
New pants, Crab Man Pants, are have taken over the town. They are the talk of the town. Check out new pants Crab Man Pants.
New type of pants that have just been invented. A new style of Crab Man Pants.
New type of pants that have just been invented. A new style of Crab Man Pants.
November 10, 2025 at 11:29 AM
New pants, Crab Man Pants, are have taken over the town. They are the talk of the town. Check out new pants Crab Man Pants.
New type of pants that have just been invented. A new style of Crab Man Pants.
New type of pants that have just been invented. A new style of Crab Man Pants.
Reposted by Crab Man
it’s quite lynchian when mom says it’s bedtime
November 10, 2025 at 1:54 AM
it’s quite lynchian when mom says it’s bedtime
Reposted by Crab Man
Have my AirPods but I misplaced the case. Which is very lynchian
November 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Have my AirPods but I misplaced the case. Which is very lynchian
They are making a new pop tart flavor called "odd skin" which doesn't sound appealing to me at all.
November 10, 2025 at 1:51 AM
They are making a new pop tart flavor called "odd skin" which doesn't sound appealing to me at all.
Reposted by Crab Man
i am looking to adopt a dog with the It Factor
November 10, 2025 at 1:18 AM
i am looking to adopt a dog with the It Factor
Reposted by Crab Man
Gather 'round, children. I got a story to tell. (children gather 'round) Ready? Once upon a– (children gather 'round) Still gathering? Okay, make room- (children gather 'round) Now hold on a minute- (children gather 'round) Wait, just a- (children gather 'round) Stop, plea- (children gather 'round)
November 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Gather 'round, children. I got a story to tell. (children gather 'round) Ready? Once upon a– (children gather 'round) Still gathering? Okay, make room- (children gather 'round) Now hold on a minute- (children gather 'round) Wait, just a- (children gather 'round) Stop, plea- (children gather 'round)
Just bought supplies to do a small home decor project for the first time in my life. Adderall is a hell of a drug.
November 10, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Just bought supplies to do a small home decor project for the first time in my life. Adderall is a hell of a drug.
I think Woke Christianity is coming very soon...
November 10, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I think Woke Christianity is coming very soon...
Reposted by Crab Man
when we finally get Woke 2
November 9, 2025 at 10:44 PM
when we finally get Woke 2
Reposted by Crab Man
my brand new venmo debit card is beyond clutch
November 9, 2025 at 5:15 AM
my brand new venmo debit card is beyond clutch
Reposted by Crab Man
Ne'er-do-wells are always up to some bull shit or other
November 9, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Ne'er-do-wells are always up to some bull shit or other