Chase Mitchell
@chasemit.bsky.social
Writer, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharks
“The real problem with America is my bitch ex-wife” is perhaps the most MAGA take ever created
November 10, 2025 at 10:58 PM
“The real problem with America is my bitch ex-wife” is perhaps the most MAGA take ever created
Reposted by Chase Mitchell
Professional wrestling
Harlem Globetrotters v the Generals
& the good guys winning at the end of a Marvel movie
are all more unpredictable than a showdown between the Dems & Repubs.
This shit is as rickety & fake as a Wild West stunt show at a third tier amusement park.
#DemsCave
#CorruptDuopoly
Harlem Globetrotters v the Generals
& the good guys winning at the end of a Marvel movie
are all more unpredictable than a showdown between the Dems & Repubs.
This shit is as rickety & fake as a Wild West stunt show at a third tier amusement park.
#DemsCave
#CorruptDuopoly
November 10, 2025 at 7:18 AM
Professional wrestling
Harlem Globetrotters v the Generals
& the good guys winning at the end of a Marvel movie
are all more unpredictable than a showdown between the Dems & Repubs.
This shit is as rickety & fake as a Wild West stunt show at a third tier amusement park.
#DemsCave
#CorruptDuopoly
Harlem Globetrotters v the Generals
& the good guys winning at the end of a Marvel movie
are all more unpredictable than a showdown between the Dems & Repubs.
This shit is as rickety & fake as a Wild West stunt show at a third tier amusement park.
#DemsCave
#CorruptDuopoly
Whoa they invented a word for when you’re a weird loser nobody wants to work with?
November 10, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Whoa they invented a word for when you’re a weird loser nobody wants to work with?
The aesthetics of a Scientology building
This, in particular, is spectacularly hideous. It's like something you'd see on the wall of a car dealership where they put pictures of their top salespeople every month
November 6, 2025 at 11:56 PM
The aesthetics of a Scientology building
I bought a month of Fox to watch the World Series and as a nice little bonus I get to watch Fox News lose their goddamn minds about Mamdani
November 5, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I bought a month of Fox to watch the World Series and as a nice little bonus I get to watch Fox News lose their goddamn minds about Mamdani
It must have been awkward for Riley to stand so close to someone whose ideology she doesn’t identify with - a winner
November 3, 2025 at 4:08 AM
It must have been awkward for Riley to stand so close to someone whose ideology she doesn’t identify with - a winner
He’s still cold in the middle
November 3, 2025 at 3:06 AM
He’s still cold in the middle
Every time he posts is an indictment against capitalism. We let someone that dumb have all that
November 2, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Every time he posts is an indictment against capitalism. We let someone that dumb have all that
When you’re a Chelsey Lately panelist trying to get to your pre-written joke
CNN ANCHOR: As President Trump's approval ratings drop, how can Democrats harness the protest movements we see today?
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.
November 2, 2025 at 11:02 PM
When you’re a Chelsey Lately panelist trying to get to your pre-written joke
If Scott Adams dies I hope someone wears one of those bent-upwards Dilbert ties to the funeral
November 2, 2025 at 9:57 PM
If Scott Adams dies I hope someone wears one of those bent-upwards Dilbert ties to the funeral
I’m sorry, Canada, I guess you’ll just have to fall back on having a better country in every way
November 2, 2025 at 5:53 AM
I’m sorry, Canada, I guess you’ll just have to fall back on having a better country in every way
I hope the teams will remember to get different scores tonight
October 29, 2025 at 12:35 AM
I hope the teams will remember to get different scores tonight
“It’s… always been 5-5.”
October 28, 2025 at 6:04 AM
“It’s… always been 5-5.”
We have to end ghost kitchens
October 22, 2025 at 4:51 AM
We have to end ghost kitchens
Going forward it would be nice if people remember to not cast this piece of shit. I know it’s difficult — he’s a great actor with incredible credits
Kevin O’Leary Says ‘Marty Supreme’ Could ‘Save Millions’ With AI Extras
https://www.newsbeep.com/ie/96025/
Kevin O’Leary delivered one of his first promotional plugs for A24’s “Marty Supreme” in typically business-minded fashion. The…
https://www.newsbeep.com/ie/96025/
Kevin O’Leary delivered one of his first promotional plugs for A24’s “Marty Supreme” in typically business-minded fashion. The…
Kevin O'Leary Says 'Marty Supreme' Could 'Save Millions' With AI Extras - Ireland News Beep
Kevin O’Leary delivered one of his first promotional plugs for A24’s “Marty Supreme” in typically business-minded fashion. The investor and “Shark Tank” host,
www.newsbeep.com
October 22, 2025 at 3:22 AM
Going forward it would be nice if people remember to not cast this piece of shit. I know it’s difficult — he’s a great actor with incredible credits
Yes. Can the one on the left not breastfeed because his BAC is too high
October 21, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Yes. Can the one on the left not breastfeed because his BAC is too high
The Blue Jays logo looks like it has an unread notification and it’s driving me crazy
October 21, 2025 at 3:06 AM
The Blue Jays logo looks like it has an unread notification and it’s driving me crazy
Yeah so like, that’s why
October 19, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Yeah so like, that’s why
A funny thing about Misery is, you realize that the way James Caan plays off of Kathy Bates is actually the exact same way he ends up playing off of Will Ferrell in Elf
October 19, 2025 at 2:35 AM
A funny thing about Misery is, you realize that the way James Caan plays off of Kathy Bates is actually the exact same way he ends up playing off of Will Ferrell in Elf
Reposted by Chase Mitchell
Do you think I’d explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I made the NYPD woke 35 minutes ago.
October 18, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Do you think I’d explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I made the NYPD woke 35 minutes ago.
Someone arrest this dangerous antifa protestor
October 19, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Someone arrest this dangerous antifa protestor