briween
@briween.bsky.social
whip-smart and box-of-hammers-stupid
something something simpsons reference
something something simpsons reference
Pinned
briween
@briween.bsky.social
· Dec 20
by the end of my life i will have spent hundreds of hours failing to convince automated faucets where my fucking hands are
specifically, Kandy Korn
All Day I Dream About Snacks
December 28, 2025 at 7:42 AM
specifically, Kandy Korn
Reposted by briween
perfect metaphors don’t exis—
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
December 27, 2025 at 6:35 PM
perfect metaphors don’t exis—
in 2026 i will no longer tolerate people confusing "unconscious" with "subconscious"
if you're unconsciously racist you're racist in your sleep
it isn't better but it is different
if you're unconsciously racist you're racist in your sleep
it isn't better but it is different
December 27, 2025 at 4:43 PM
in 2026 i will no longer tolerate people confusing "unconscious" with "subconscious"
if you're unconsciously racist you're racist in your sleep
it isn't better but it is different
if you're unconsciously racist you're racist in your sleep
it isn't better but it is different
make a bond movie casual
lithiumfinger
lithiumfinger
make a Bond movie casual
Quantum of Shoelace
Quantum of Shoelace
make a Bond movie casual
regular-pussy
regular-pussy
December 26, 2025 at 5:24 AM
make a bond movie casual
lithiumfinger
lithiumfinger
every year all day all day
TV Funhouse: Christmastime For The Jews - SNL
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
youtu.be
December 25, 2025 at 6:06 PM
every year all day all day
for your TL i present the best analysis of the best christmas song ever written
'Fairytale of New York': How a soused Irish punk band created the greatest Christmas song of all time
It's not just a fun song, it's a salve to the soul
theweek.com
December 24, 2025 at 9:24 AM
for your TL i present the best analysis of the best christmas song ever written
Reposted by briween
[Shania Twain voice] let’s go girls
December 24, 2025 at 8:51 AM
[Shania Twain voice] let’s go girls
historically this means the end of your civilization
it was nice while it lasted
it was nice while it lasted
December 23, 2025 at 11:41 AM
historically this means the end of your civilization
it was nice while it lasted
it was nice while it lasted
takeaways:
- trump unquestionably SAed underage girls as this is basically a deathbed confession and epstein has zero reason to lie
- pieces of shit really do stick together, even moreso after they're all caught
- who knew jeffrey epstein liked the theme to Malcolm In The Middle so much
- trump unquestionably SAed underage girls as this is basically a deathbed confession and epstein has zero reason to lie
- pieces of shit really do stick together, even moreso after they're all caught
- who knew jeffrey epstein liked the theme to Malcolm In The Middle so much
DOJ briefly uploaded this letter from Jeff Epstein to serial child molester Larry Nassar:
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
"Our president shares our love of young, nubile girls. When a young beauty walked by he loved to 'grab snatch,' whereas we ended up snatching grub in the mess halls of the system."
December 23, 2025 at 7:03 AM
takeaways:
- trump unquestionably SAed underage girls as this is basically a deathbed confession and epstein has zero reason to lie
- pieces of shit really do stick together, even moreso after they're all caught
- who knew jeffrey epstein liked the theme to Malcolm In The Middle so much
- trump unquestionably SAed underage girls as this is basically a deathbed confession and epstein has zero reason to lie
- pieces of shit really do stick together, even moreso after they're all caught
- who knew jeffrey epstein liked the theme to Malcolm In The Middle so much
if anyone ever says this to my face i will offload my foot into their asshole so hard they will never be able to detoxify themselves again
The CEO of Microsoft AI says AI chatbots are a powerful way for humans to offload emotions and 'detoxify ourselves'
Mustafa Suleyman, Microsoft AI's CEO, has described using AI for guidance on life decisions as "something that the world needs."
www.businessinsider.com
December 23, 2025 at 1:08 AM
if anyone ever says this to my face i will offload my foot into their asshole so hard they will never be able to detoxify themselves again
in honor of this, i hereby announce that i will be eating 2 whole pizzas tonight and taking a trump-class shit sometime tomorrow
Exclusive: The Navy will build a new “Trump-class” battleship, Trump is set to announce. on.wsj.com/459nA4M
Exclusive | New Class of Warship to Be Named After President Trump
The new vessels, which the president calls battleships, will be the latest in what the White House envisions as a “Golden Fleet.”
on.wsj.com
December 23, 2025 at 12:25 AM
in honor of this, i hereby announce that i will be eating 2 whole pizzas tonight and taking a trump-class shit sometime tomorrow
Reposted by briween
We’re just normal men
December 23, 2025 at 12:11 AM
We’re just normal men
elbows up and cameras rolling
It's the least important element to this, but I find it fascinating on an aesthetic level too.
Americans are watching a bootleg broadcast that someone in Canada recorded off their TV. And people are copying it to various platforms (however imperfect visually) to get it out as widely as possible.
Americans are watching a bootleg broadcast that someone in Canada recorded off their TV. And people are copying it to various platforms (however imperfect visually) to get it out as widely as possible.
December 22, 2025 at 11:23 PM
elbows up and cameras rolling
no country's diplomats will ever attend an event in a giant gold-painted box that's more cameraed and microphoned than a casino floor and funded by casino and palantir money
truly what could a satirist make up that would be dumber and funnier than the White House East Wing sponsored by Roblox and defense contractors
SCOOP-1: The @nytimes.com has confirmed the following previously unreported donations/pledges to the WH ballroom:
▶️Miriam Adelson’s foundation: $25m
▶️Lockheed Martin: $10m
▶️Palantir: $10m
▶️Ripple: $5m
▶️Parsons: $2.5m
▶️Roblox CEO: $2.5
Here's a gift link.
There's more in the story 🧵…
▶️Miriam Adelson’s foundation: $25m
▶️Lockheed Martin: $10m
▶️Palantir: $10m
▶️Ripple: $5m
▶️Parsons: $2.5m
▶️Roblox CEO: $2.5
Here's a gift link.
There's more in the story 🧵…
December 22, 2025 at 10:46 PM
no country's diplomats will ever attend an event in a giant gold-painted box that's more cameraed and microphoned than a casino floor and funded by casino and palantir money
bari weiss is the eli cash of journalism
December 22, 2025 at 9:01 PM
bari weiss is the eli cash of journalism
1985: AIDS epidemic
2025: AI epidemic
only 2 letters to go c'mon guys we can do this
2025: AI epidemic
only 2 letters to go c'mon guys we can do this
December 22, 2025 at 8:11 PM
1985: AIDS epidemic
2025: AI epidemic
only 2 letters to go c'mon guys we can do this
2025: AI epidemic
only 2 letters to go c'mon guys we can do this
just look what bari weiss did with an actual thing that matters
Per NY Times’s Michael Grynbaum on X, this is Sharyn Alfonsi’s email to her “60 Minutes” colleagues in full:
December 22, 2025 at 9:08 AM
just look what bari weiss did with an actual thing that matters
wasn't on my 2025 bingo card
wait no it was my free space
wait no it was my free space
wow that’s crazy bari weiss ended up being shitty at her job
December 22, 2025 at 5:10 AM
wasn't on my 2025 bingo card
wait no it was my free space
wait no it was my free space
every time i see the logo for Turning Point i'm reminded that, synonymously, my dog enjoys licking her own asshole
December 21, 2025 at 8:39 PM
every time i see the logo for Turning Point i'm reminded that, synonymously, my dog enjoys licking her own asshole
Reposted by briween
The core of any piece of art is about what a human wants to say to another human about the experience of being alive; if you are asking a predictive text machine about that there is literally no point in anyone making what was spat out because ML doesn’t want to say anything specifically
December 21, 2025 at 7:53 PM
The core of any piece of art is about what a human wants to say to another human about the experience of being alive; if you are asking a predictive text machine about that there is literally no point in anyone making what was spat out because ML doesn’t want to say anything specifically
every week!
Days start getting longer on Monday!
December 20, 2025 at 8:33 PM
every week!
what i expect from a magazine that doubled as trump's ass paddle
The Trump administration complied with a federal law requiring them to release the files.
Epstein Files Released: Here’s Everything We Know (Live Updates)
The Trump administration complied with a federal law requiring them to release the files.
www.forbes.com
December 20, 2025 at 1:40 AM
what i expect from a magazine that doubled as trump's ass paddle
i tried writing mine but the box kept coming out all black
Redaction jokes already dead
December 20, 2025 at 12:58 AM
i tried writing mine but the box kept coming out all black
led zeppelin's stairway to heaven taught me what a "hedgerow" is
Here's a question I've enjoyed asking on various social media platforms. What are vocabulary words you have learned from songs? For example, I learned the word "raze" from REM's World Leader Pretend.
December 19, 2025 at 11:59 PM
led zeppelin's stairway to heaven taught me what a "hedgerow" is
fine, now it's called the Barack H. Obama Stone Mountain Park
your move, fuckers
your move, fuckers
December 19, 2025 at 6:11 PM
fine, now it's called the Barack H. Obama Stone Mountain Park
your move, fuckers
your move, fuckers