briween
@briween.bsky.social
whip-smart and box-of-hammers-stupid
something something simpsons reference
patreon: no
substack: hard no
something something simpsons reference
patreon: no
substack: hard no
Pinned
briween
@briween.bsky.social
· Dec 20
by the end of my life i will have spent hundreds of hours failing to convince automated faucets where my fucking hands are
putting just a little peanut butter on an apple is next to godliness
February 12, 2026 at 1:19 AM
putting just a little peanut butter on an apple is next to godliness
if we hold ourselves to any achievable goals for the rest of time it should be to prevent one from becoming the other
Fundamentally the kids are good but the tech bros are fundamentally evil
February 12, 2026 at 1:16 AM
if we hold ourselves to any achievable goals for the rest of time it should be to prevent one from becoming the other
cary grant was born archie leach
mel brooks was born melvin kaminsky
jelly roll was born jason deford, you guys like him right
you wouldn't tell these guys what their name is so why don't you transphobes just stfu
oh and timothee chalamet was born sleeslok yeetlebreen iii
mel brooks was born melvin kaminsky
jelly roll was born jason deford, you guys like him right
you wouldn't tell these guys what their name is so why don't you transphobes just stfu
oh and timothee chalamet was born sleeslok yeetlebreen iii
Baffled by transphobes insisting that the name on your birth certificate is Your True Name Forever when it was common in my grandparents' generation to just...pick a name you like and use that, nbd. I literally found out both of my grandma's birth certificate first names FROM THEIR OBITUARIES.
February 10, 2026 at 11:20 PM
cary grant was born archie leach
mel brooks was born melvin kaminsky
jelly roll was born jason deford, you guys like him right
you wouldn't tell these guys what their name is so why don't you transphobes just stfu
oh and timothee chalamet was born sleeslok yeetlebreen iii
mel brooks was born melvin kaminsky
jelly roll was born jason deford, you guys like him right
you wouldn't tell these guys what their name is so why don't you transphobes just stfu
oh and timothee chalamet was born sleeslok yeetlebreen iii
whenever you feel down about the world, just remember that at some point in the future -- and i hope it happens in my lifetime, but who can say -- someone will mention the name "donald trump" and someone else will say "who's that?"
February 10, 2026 at 11:03 PM
whenever you feel down about the world, just remember that at some point in the future -- and i hope it happens in my lifetime, but who can say -- someone will mention the name "donald trump" and someone else will say "who's that?"
in this hivemind there is no eugene there is only wegene
February 10, 2026 at 6:44 AM
in this hivemind there is no eugene there is only wegene
this is why internet
🎷
YouTube video by iTMG
www.youtube.com
February 10, 2026 at 5:28 AM
this is why internet
had to be #villastacos tonight #benito
February 10, 2026 at 4:26 AM
had to be #villastacos tonight #benito
if you loved seeing ilia malinin do a backflip in his olympics program, whoa there, surya bonaly did it first
plus, just when you thought minnesota couldn't be full of cooler people, guess where she lives
the moral arc of the figure skating universe is long
plus, just when you thought minnesota couldn't be full of cooler people, guess where she lives
the moral arc of the figure skating universe is long
Queen of back flips on ice laces up her skates in MN, as coach
YouTube video by KARE 11
www.youtube.com
February 9, 2026 at 7:19 PM
if you loved seeing ilia malinin do a backflip in his olympics program, whoa there, surya bonaly did it first
plus, just when you thought minnesota couldn't be full of cooler people, guess where she lives
the moral arc of the figure skating universe is long
plus, just when you thought minnesota couldn't be full of cooler people, guess where she lives
the moral arc of the figure skating universe is long
on top of being one of the zaniest "an authority figure reveals they're actually an idiot" moments in the simpsons, the way harry shearer smacks his lips as kent brockman turns to welcome our insect overlords kills me every time
kent brockman welcoming our insect overlords
YouTube video by Hetfield7782
www.youtube.com
February 9, 2026 at 7:13 AM
on top of being one of the zaniest "an authority figure reveals they're actually an idiot" moments in the simpsons, the way harry shearer smacks his lips as kent brockman turns to welcome our insect overlords kills me every time
BLACK ALLY: black lives matter
RACIST ASSHOLE: no, all lives matter
BAD BUNNY: si, all american lives matter
RACIST ASSHOLE: [turns red, sputters]
RACIST ASSHOLE: no, all lives matter
BAD BUNNY: si, all american lives matter
RACIST ASSHOLE: [turns red, sputters]
February 9, 2026 at 6:48 AM
BLACK ALLY: black lives matter
RACIST ASSHOLE: no, all lives matter
BAD BUNNY: si, all american lives matter
RACIST ASSHOLE: [turns red, sputters]
RACIST ASSHOLE: no, all lives matter
BAD BUNNY: si, all american lives matter
RACIST ASSHOLE: [turns red, sputters]
well it's official, the ceo of ring is definitely in favor of living in a police state and is possibly a cat
February 9, 2026 at 6:29 AM
well it's official, the ceo of ring is definitely in favor of living in a police state and is possibly a cat
February 9, 2026 at 5:16 AM
some fun (and not fun) facts about this image:
1. this dog's real name was Mr. Cheeseface, proving that sometimes we deserve nice things
2. someone actually shot him in 1976 on a farm in vermont, proving that no, we never deserve nice things
3. i have this issue if anyone wants to borrow it
1. this dog's real name was Mr. Cheeseface, proving that sometimes we deserve nice things
2. someone actually shot him in 1976 on a farm in vermont, proving that no, we never deserve nice things
3. i have this issue if anyone wants to borrow it
February 9, 2026 at 5:06 AM
some fun (and not fun) facts about this image:
1. this dog's real name was Mr. Cheeseface, proving that sometimes we deserve nice things
2. someone actually shot him in 1976 on a farm in vermont, proving that no, we never deserve nice things
3. i have this issue if anyone wants to borrow it
1. this dog's real name was Mr. Cheeseface, proving that sometimes we deserve nice things
2. someone actually shot him in 1976 on a farm in vermont, proving that no, we never deserve nice things
3. i have this issue if anyone wants to borrow it
ai could never
Take 2 minutes of your time and watch "The Hyrule Fantasy", a lovely Zelda fan film by french animator Ousmane Cissé.
www.catsuka.com/news/2026-02...
www.catsuka.com/news/2026-02...
February 7, 2026 at 6:16 PM
ai could never
imagine the whole world throws a party every 4 years, and you're not invited, but your BOSS SENDS you, whether or not anyone wants you there. and when they introduce everyone, and your face comes up, everyone at the party loudly BOOS. and you stay anyway.
congratulations, you're jd vance.
congratulations, you're jd vance.
February 7, 2026 at 6:08 PM
imagine the whole world throws a party every 4 years, and you're not invited, but your BOSS SENDS you, whether or not anyone wants you there. and when they introduce everyone, and your face comes up, everyone at the party loudly BOOS. and you stay anyway.
congratulations, you're jd vance.
congratulations, you're jd vance.
i boo jd on my tv
i boo jd in italy
i boo jd if in the news
i boo jd in interviews
i boo jd at famous haunts
i boo jd at restaurants
i boo jd at broadway shows
i boo jd where'er he goes
i boo jd if day or night
i boo jd because it's right
i boo jd and you can too
so make that jd hear your boo!
i boo jd in italy
i boo jd if in the news
i boo jd in interviews
i boo jd at famous haunts
i boo jd at restaurants
i boo jd at broadway shows
i boo jd where'er he goes
i boo jd if day or night
i boo jd because it's right
i boo jd and you can too
so make that jd hear your boo!
February 7, 2026 at 5:22 PM
i boo jd on my tv
i boo jd in italy
i boo jd if in the news
i boo jd in interviews
i boo jd at famous haunts
i boo jd at restaurants
i boo jd at broadway shows
i boo jd where'er he goes
i boo jd if day or night
i boo jd because it's right
i boo jd and you can too
so make that jd hear your boo!
i boo jd in italy
i boo jd if in the news
i boo jd in interviews
i boo jd at famous haunts
i boo jd at restaurants
i boo jd at broadway shows
i boo jd where'er he goes
i boo jd if day or night
i boo jd because it's right
i boo jd and you can too
so make that jd hear your boo!
would you believe
in 2026
in this political climate
under this administration
with feds straight up murdering people
and cops protecting them while they do it
that there are still people out there
who in their leisure time
want to roleplay
as cops
shook
in 2026
in this political climate
under this administration
with feds straight up murdering people
and cops protecting them while they do it
that there are still people out there
who in their leisure time
want to roleplay
as cops
shook
FiveLAPD
Ready to Join?
www.fivelapd.com
February 6, 2026 at 9:47 PM
would you believe
in 2026
in this political climate
under this administration
with feds straight up murdering people
and cops protecting them while they do it
that there are still people out there
who in their leisure time
want to roleplay
as cops
shook
in 2026
in this political climate
under this administration
with feds straight up murdering people
and cops protecting them while they do it
that there are still people out there
who in their leisure time
want to roleplay
as cops
shook
i could not have foreseen where this was going but i am all the better for having read it
Just saw a post with George Clinton citing the Beatles as his favorite band, which reminded me of this quote he once gave me
February 6, 2026 at 6:26 PM
i could not have foreseen where this was going but i am all the better for having read it
dementia doesn't cause trump's racism, it merely loosens his inhibition to exhibit it. and anyone who doesn't immediately condemn him for it now -- or years ago, considering this is just another in a long series of racist actions -- is complicit.
1. It was not an accident.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
February 6, 2026 at 6:00 PM
dementia doesn't cause trump's racism, it merely loosens his inhibition to exhibit it. and anyone who doesn't immediately condemn him for it now -- or years ago, considering this is just another in a long series of racist actions -- is complicit.
2016: please clap
2026: don't boo
2026: don't boo
February 6, 2026 at 5:48 PM
2016: please clap
2026: don't boo
2026: don't boo
derek smalls but for skiing
February 5, 2026 at 10:40 PM
derek smalls but for skiing
netflix made another war machine movie on top of the war machine movie they war machine movied 8 years ago
maybe they think we're stupid, maybe they're creatively bankrupt, maybe both
or maybe the problem is that we have too many war machines
maybe they think we're stupid, maybe they're creatively bankrupt, maybe both
or maybe the problem is that we have too many war machines
February 5, 2026 at 7:18 PM
netflix made another war machine movie on top of the war machine movie they war machine movied 8 years ago
maybe they think we're stupid, maybe they're creatively bankrupt, maybe both
or maybe the problem is that we have too many war machines
maybe they think we're stupid, maybe they're creatively bankrupt, maybe both
or maybe the problem is that we have too many war machines
my body is also in 4 panels
I have the body of a webcartoonist, and the mind to match.
February 5, 2026 at 12:39 AM
my body is also in 4 panels
in case anyone was wondering where he went
February 5, 2026 at 12:32 AM
in case anyone was wondering where he went