Brandon
brandonjschwartz.com
Brandon
@brandonjschwartz.com
Law, political theory, language, computers.

Attorney at schwartzapc.com
President at boomajoom.com

Nothing I post is legal advice, and I’m not your attorney. Occasional Escrow Manager.
Pinned
If you call fake MAGA Kyle Rittenhouse the murderer a murderer and a homicide, a lot of weirdos will come out of the weeds and try to fight you.
Who up █████████ they █████ rn
December 27, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Shitposting remains undefeated as a lead generation method. Follow me for more social media marketing tips.
December 24, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Just checking in on the LinkedIn crowd this morning.
December 22, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Dr. Mann. Interstellar. Aptly named.

Who among us isn’t pressing the signal button? Survival is the most basic instinct.

(Arguably the real villain in the film is Early Cooper. And then, who among us can resist the draw to our true calling?)
Name your most relatable villain
December 21, 2025 at 4:35 AM
I'm told by some person on this website that all Pantone colors are copyrighted and because this is a color using "Pantone" this is probably major infringement.
Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year
December 20, 2025 at 10:45 PM
A friend of mine invited me to a free speech group on Facebook. After getting blocked by a prolific poster for asking things like, “When was the Green New Deal passed into law?” I couldn’t help but ask my question.
December 20, 2025 at 4:31 AM
This is disconcerting.
December 19, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Is more saving and more doing the Power of home depot?

youtu.be/jMtG9SyZfAc
Home Depot theme song for 1 hour
YouTube video by Repeating Useless Stuff
youtu.be
December 18, 2025 at 1:31 AM
www.congress.gov
December 16, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Hardly anyone on here simps for Kyle Rittenhouse the murderer. Most of the simps on Twitter have me blocked. Sometimes Facebook does not disappoint.
December 13, 2025 at 9:40 AM
December 11, 2025 at 3:09 AM
What if he drops it?
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 11, 2025 at 2:53 AM
This guy thinks I should lose my license because I protect client confidentiality.
Oh, you're actually this stupid.
You shouldn't keep your license.
December 11, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Explains the wig.
December 10, 2025 at 11:29 PM
When I was still a student, but within the statute of limitations, someone breached a contract with my business. They knew that doing so risked putting my business out of business.
Does this come with a story?
December 9, 2025 at 4:04 AM
I normally dislike being ignored or when someone doesn’t take me seriously. But I can forgive it if it results in that person receiving a default judgment against them.
December 9, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Bridge of Spies.
December 9, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I got to pull out my “Was there anything about my question that was unclear?” line in a professional context today. 10/10.
December 6, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Motion to Dismiss filed in United States v. Cole. Another L for Judge Jeanine?

r.mtdv.me/MTDpdf
U.S. v. Cole, Case 1:25-mj-00276-MAU
Motion to Dismiss Indictment
r.mtdv.me
December 5, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Sims 2 turkey.
December 3, 2025 at 5:29 PM
“To get back up to the shining world from there
My guide and I went into that hidden tunnel,

And Following its path, we took no care
To rest, but climbed: he first, then I-so far,
through a round aperture I saw appear

Some of the beautiful things that Heaven bears”
So these are 100% awesome, but, uh, the internet has broken me.

Good on the creator for remembering to use a flared base though!
GUYS

GUYS

MY BROTHER MADE ME THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL BUSTS
December 2, 2025 at 7:13 PM
"Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest. Drink from me Charlie Brown. I am a river. You are my canyon. I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. Charlie Brown."
tell me about the waters of your home world, Charlie Brown
This is the water, and this is the well. Drink full and descend, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 6:25 PM
In which Justin Riddle claims he has committed a federal sex offense against minors as part of.. um… wait what?

Cc @prog-r0k.bsky.social
November 24, 2025 at 6:26 AM