Simon Bower
@bowertothebeople.bsky.social
Australian writer, comedian and former DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Champion.
He/him that makes you hee/hee.
He/him that makes you hee/hee.
Reposted by Simon Bower
knowing elon if he tried launching the rockets as a weapon it would be the first time they didnt explode.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s hilarious, but my laughter would be less nervous if one of the guys didn’t have control of the biggest military in the world and the other one didn’t have rockets, a satellite network, and thousands of tactical-ready pickup trucks just sitting around.
June 5, 2025 at 9:58 PM
knowing elon if he tried launching the rockets as a weapon it would be the first time they didnt explode.
Relationship tip: "Cut you in half" is not a good answer to the "what would you do if I was a worm?" question, EVEN THOUGH it's pretty romantic if you think about it.
May 15, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Relationship tip: "Cut you in half" is not a good answer to the "what would you do if I was a worm?" question, EVEN THOUGH it's pretty romantic if you think about it.
Earlier today my phone started playing Take On Me by a-ha. And I couldn't stop it. I closed all of my apps, turned it off and on again, but the song kept playing. I'm starting to think this phone might be a-haunted #thankyou #thisgenuinelyhappenedthough #phoneghosts
May 7, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Earlier today my phone started playing Take On Me by a-ha. And I couldn't stop it. I closed all of my apps, turned it off and on again, but the song kept playing. I'm starting to think this phone might be a-haunted #thankyou #thisgenuinelyhappenedthough #phoneghosts
Wrote a fun piece for the newest issue of Functionally Dead, the internet's best leftist comedy zine that gives me money to write silly bullshit. Go check it out at www.functionallydead.com and support them on Patreon if you can.
May 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Wrote a fun piece for the newest issue of Functionally Dead, the internet's best leftist comedy zine that gives me money to write silly bullshit. Go check it out at www.functionallydead.com and support them on Patreon if you can.
In the past few years, I've matured from manchild to manteenager. And I'm confident that with time, I'll eventually be a full-fledged manman.
May 1, 2025 at 7:04 AM
In the past few years, I've matured from manchild to manteenager. And I'm confident that with time, I'll eventually be a full-fledged manman.
Mikey Madison makes history as the first Ghostface killer to win an Academy Award. Suck it Jack Quaid.
March 3, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Mikey Madison makes history as the first Ghostface killer to win an Academy Award. Suck it Jack Quaid.
Reposted by Simon Bower
‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo
‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo
theonion.com
March 3, 2025 at 1:48 AM
‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo
Reposted by Simon Bower
Old Man's Son Also Old Man
February 28, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Old Man's Son Also Old Man
Reposted by Simon Bower
this is about silencing dissent, erasing Palestinian voices, and defending Israelis atrocities:
apan.org.au/media_releas...
apan.org.au/media_releas...
McCarthyism reborn: Australian universities capitulate to Israel lobby, suppress criticism of Israel - Australia Palestine Advocacy Network - APAN
The Australia Palestine Advocacy Network (APAN) unequivocally condemns the adoption by Universities Australia and its 39 universities of a new definition of antisemitism that dangerously conflates cri...
apan.org.au
February 26, 2025 at 5:20 AM
this is about silencing dissent, erasing Palestinian voices, and defending Israelis atrocities:
apan.org.au/media_releas...
apan.org.au/media_releas...
This felt like a personal attack. Loved it.
February 26, 2025 at 1:13 AM
This felt like a personal attack. Loved it.
My friends Yani and Ciaran have a very funny and interesting podcast about Aussie politics called Shouldn'ta Come. They let me guest on it while I was visiting them in Brisbane and it was so much fun, except for one of the most humiliating blunders of my life about ten minutes in. Listen and enjoy!
E9: K'gari: No One's Making You (Din)Go
Shouldn'ta Come · Episode
open.spotify.com
February 19, 2025 at 12:15 AM
My friends Yani and Ciaran have a very funny and interesting podcast about Aussie politics called Shouldn'ta Come. They let me guest on it while I was visiting them in Brisbane and it was so much fun, except for one of the most humiliating blunders of my life about ten minutes in. Listen and enjoy!
This was such an awesome moment to be part of live in-person.
The Rated R Superstar gets serenaded by the Brisbane faithful as we prepare for a Brisbane Brawl as #AEWGrandSlam is NOW on TNT and max
February 16, 2025 at 6:30 AM
This was such an awesome moment to be part of live in-person.
Look the world is pretty fucked but last night I went to a pro-wrestling show where thousands of people chanted for the hometown girl to rip her opponent's tits off so maybe it's not all bad. #aewgrandslam
February 15, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Look the world is pretty fucked but last night I went to a pro-wrestling show where thousands of people chanted for the hometown girl to rip her opponent's tits off so maybe it's not all bad. #aewgrandslam
Reposted by Simon Bower
older. wiser. still full of cum
February 15, 2025 at 9:50 PM
older. wiser. still full of cum
Reposted by Simon Bower
i recently met this guy Josh and today i discovered something interesting about him. he is actually two separate guys named Josh
February 14, 2025 at 9:15 AM
i recently met this guy Josh and today i discovered something interesting about him. he is actually two separate guys named Josh
Reposted by Simon Bower
Actual quote from Creative Australia about dropping a Lebanese-Australian artist due to pressure caused by his past statements in support of Palestinians:
“Creative Australia is an advocate for freedom of artistic expression and is not an adjudicator on the interpretation of art. However,”
“Creative Australia is an advocate for freedom of artistic expression and is not an adjudicator on the interpretation of art. However,”
Khaled Sabsabi dropped as Australia’s representative to Venice Biennale
Amid political pressure, Creative Australia says deselecting the Lebanese-born artist will avoid ‘divisive debate’
www.theguardian.com
February 13, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Actual quote from Creative Australia about dropping a Lebanese-Australian artist due to pressure caused by his past statements in support of Palestinians:
“Creative Australia is an advocate for freedom of artistic expression and is not an adjudicator on the interpretation of art. However,”
“Creative Australia is an advocate for freedom of artistic expression and is not an adjudicator on the interpretation of art. However,”
Reposted by Simon Bower
the absolute state of the arts i swear to god
Just a week after announcing award-winning Lebanese Australian artist Khaled Sabsabi as Australia’s pick for the 2026 Venice Biennale, Creative Australia has capitulated to media and political pressure and dumped him.
February 13, 2025 at 12:53 PM
the absolute state of the arts i swear to god
Another article I wrote for @hard-drive.net. I feel a little bad about this one lol. Anyway play Pentiment, it's really good!
Visibly Aroused Phil Spencer Sits in Corner Watching Xbox Game Played on PS5
hard-drive.net/hd/video-gam...
hard-drive.net/hd/video-gam...
Visibly Aroused Phil Spencer Sits in Corner Watching Xbox Game Played on PS5
REDMOND, Wash — Local gamer Billie Reed was surprised late last night when they noticed Microsoft Gaming CEO Phil Spencer watching from a dimly lit…
hard-drive.net
February 12, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Another article I wrote for @hard-drive.net. I feel a little bad about this one lol. Anyway play Pentiment, it's really good!
Reposted by Simon Bower
February 10, 2025 at 11:24 PM
I dunno you guys, sometimes I think maybe skateboarding *is* a crime.
February 12, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I dunno you guys, sometimes I think maybe skateboarding *is* a crime.
Reposted by Simon Bower
I wrote this 6 months ago but it's timely again
hard-drive.net/hd/entertain...
hard-drive.net/hd/entertain...
Kendrick Lamar Completes Perfect No Hit Run Against Drake
LOS ANGELES —Kendrick Lamar made history last night as he successfully completed his perfect no-hit run against Drake while millions of viewers cheered him on.…
hard-drive.net
February 10, 2025 at 3:36 AM
I wrote this 6 months ago but it's timely again
hard-drive.net/hd/entertain...
hard-drive.net/hd/entertain...
Reposted by Simon Bower
i guess, this trans Nidoqueen is also illegal now?
February 6, 2025 at 4:49 PM
i guess, this trans Nidoqueen is also illegal now?
I sincerely think President Oak talking about the "woké mob" may be the best joke I've ever written.
February 6, 2025 at 10:17 PM
I sincerely think President Oak talking about the "woké mob" may be the best joke I've ever written.
Wrote this fun little piece for @hard-drive.net about Max Payne and video-game remakes while jumping off a building in bullet time.
Max Payne Remake Devs Promise to Fix "Pesky" Slowdown Issue During Shootouts
ESPOO, Finland — Remedy Entertainment have assured fans of the Max Payne franchise that their upcoming remake will finally address longstanding technical problems that caused…
hard-drive.net
February 2, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Wrote this fun little piece for @hard-drive.net about Max Payne and video-game remakes while jumping off a building in bullet time.