bnacker
@bnacker.bsky.social
(he/him) Now a writer AND an author! Read “Stories to Keep You Alive Despite Vampires.” Hear Thrilling Adventure Hour and Cut and Run. No puns. Show businessman
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bnacker
@bnacker.bsky.social
· Nov 16
Stories to Keep You Alive Despite Vampires a book by Ben Acker
This fourth wall-breaking middle grade collection of spooky, scary, and spoopy stories for fans of Lemony Snicket and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark might just help you survive the night in a house...
bookshop.org
Please buy my book from here instead of Amazon because fuck billionaires.
bookshop.org/p/books/stor...
bookshop.org/p/books/stor...
Would not watch Chris Pratt as Detective Christopher Raven, framed for a crime he didn't commit trying to clear his name lest he face AI justice. But would watch Andy Dwyer do all of that.
December 26, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Would not watch Chris Pratt as Detective Christopher Raven, framed for a crime he didn't commit trying to clear his name lest he face AI justice. But would watch Andy Dwyer do all of that.
Grinches get stinches
December 25, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Grinches get stinches
Once you realize that every group of chipmunks has a sociopath, a people pleaser and a glasses one, you wonder what Chip and Dale did to the glasses one
December 24, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Once you realize that every group of chipmunks has a sociopath, a people pleaser and a glasses one, you wonder what Chip and Dale did to the glasses one
No offense but stop raining
December 24, 2025 at 8:20 PM
No offense but stop raining
If 60 Minutes doesn't do a story about what happened on the last episode of 60 Minutes in their next episode of 60 Minutes, they're missing a trick.
December 23, 2025 at 7:16 AM
If 60 Minutes doesn't do a story about what happened on the last episode of 60 Minutes in their next episode of 60 Minutes, they're missing a trick.
Grocer: Which kind of chicken do you want? Skin on, bone in or skin off boneless?
Customer: Can I get skin on with the bone out?
Chicken scientists: Sorry that's impossible!
Customer: Can I get skin on with the bone out?
Chicken scientists: Sorry that's impossible!
December 21, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Grocer: Which kind of chicken do you want? Skin on, bone in or skin off boneless?
Customer: Can I get skin on with the bone out?
Chicken scientists: Sorry that's impossible!
Customer: Can I get skin on with the bone out?
Chicken scientists: Sorry that's impossible!
If Marc Evan Jackson isn't playing Brainiac in the James Gunniverse, then the James Gunniverse is unserious.
December 20, 2025 at 7:44 PM
If Marc Evan Jackson isn't playing Brainiac in the James Gunniverse, then the James Gunniverse is unserious.
@marthakelly.bsky.social the tiktoks where people lip sync to the backing vocal of the Chipmunks cover of "Bad Day" are goddamn delightful
December 20, 2025 at 6:11 AM
@marthakelly.bsky.social the tiktoks where people lip sync to the backing vocal of the Chipmunks cover of "Bad Day" are goddamn delightful
EVERYONE: There's too much traffic!
SOMEONE: Let's add a bunch more cars driving around without anyone in them!
EVERYONE: Um... but...
SOMEONE: It's decided then! More cars! Empty ones! Woooooooo!!! Yeah!
SOMEONE: Let's add a bunch more cars driving around without anyone in them!
EVERYONE: Um... but...
SOMEONE: It's decided then! More cars! Empty ones! Woooooooo!!! Yeah!
December 20, 2025 at 12:08 AM
EVERYONE: There's too much traffic!
SOMEONE: Let's add a bunch more cars driving around without anyone in them!
EVERYONE: Um... but...
SOMEONE: It's decided then! More cars! Empty ones! Woooooooo!!! Yeah!
SOMEONE: Let's add a bunch more cars driving around without anyone in them!
EVERYONE: Um... but...
SOMEONE: It's decided then! More cars! Empty ones! Woooooooo!!! Yeah!
Hey watch this comedy special and stick around for the credits if you want
Pissing Out Cancer, my comedy special produced by and formerly exclusively on Dropout.tv is now available for free and in full on YouTube.
Thank you so much to Dropout for being chill and letting me write this into my contract!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh5G...
Thank you so much to Dropout for being chill and letting me write this into my contract!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh5G...
Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer | Full Comedy Special
YouTube video by Hank Green
www.youtube.com
December 15, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Hey watch this comedy special and stick around for the credits if you want
Has the Salvation Army tried it where they don't ring a bell? I bet they'd do a lot better
December 15, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Has the Salvation Army tried it where they don't ring a bell? I bet they'd do a lot better
If the arc of history bends towards justice, it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny
December 11, 2025 at 10:29 PM
If the arc of history bends towards justice, it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny
The other week, after I prayed to a god I don't believe in for the ego death of a stranger, the stranger bought me a pancake. It was a great pancake.
December 8, 2025 at 10:48 PM
The other week, after I prayed to a god I don't believe in for the ego death of a stranger, the stranger bought me a pancake. It was a great pancake.
Christmas is my favorite Die Hard holiday. Has anyone done that one yet? Did I win?
December 8, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Christmas is my favorite Die Hard holiday. Has anyone done that one yet? Did I win?
Emma Mackey is Ella McCay. George Clooney is Jay Kelly. Soon every actor that can open a movie will play a titular character called what my mom thinks their name is
December 8, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Emma Mackey is Ella McCay. George Clooney is Jay Kelly. Soon every actor that can open a movie will play a titular character called what my mom thinks their name is
Reposted by bnacker
Just watched the strangest loveliest movie ever, after which I asked an actor and phenomenal writer/director how it could possibly be real and then of course I woke up and cursed loudly because of course it wasn’t
November 25, 2024 at 5:46 AM
Just watched the strangest loveliest movie ever, after which I asked an actor and phenomenal writer/director how it could possibly be real and then of course I woke up and cursed loudly because of course it wasn’t
I wish I had a jar that people put bread in and then asked what I was doing there
December 7, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I wish I had a jar that people put bread in and then asked what I was doing there
I spent too much time today thinking about how fast I'd spend a genie wish on Charles Grodin being the second Amigo in Three Amigos instead of Chevy Chase.
December 7, 2025 at 4:32 AM
I spent too much time today thinking about how fast I'd spend a genie wish on Charles Grodin being the second Amigo in Three Amigos instead of Chevy Chase.
JOHN WICK: A guy killed my dog, so I'm gonna kill everyone who works for his same boss and then everyone who has that same job.
AUDIENCE: GOOD!
CAROL: Literal space invaders killed my fucking wife right in front of me. I'm mad about it
AUDIENCE: Smile more, we hate you!
AUDIENCE: GOOD!
CAROL: Literal space invaders killed my fucking wife right in front of me. I'm mad about it
AUDIENCE: Smile more, we hate you!
December 7, 2025 at 4:30 AM
JOHN WICK: A guy killed my dog, so I'm gonna kill everyone who works for his same boss and then everyone who has that same job.
AUDIENCE: GOOD!
CAROL: Literal space invaders killed my fucking wife right in front of me. I'm mad about it
AUDIENCE: Smile more, we hate you!
AUDIENCE: GOOD!
CAROL: Literal space invaders killed my fucking wife right in front of me. I'm mad about it
AUDIENCE: Smile more, we hate you!
a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup is a slice of pizza in revision mode
December 6, 2025 at 9:41 PM
a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup is a slice of pizza in revision mode
If you say "this film is a love letter to cinema" you are a dork.
December 5, 2025 at 8:21 AM
If you say "this film is a love letter to cinema" you are a dork.
If you think about it, Knives Out was a Knives Out mystery
December 2, 2025 at 1:14 AM
If you think about it, Knives Out was a Knives Out mystery
Hey neat flawed premise New Yorker. Way to present it like it's facts.
When a cancelled performer reënters the culture, we expect them to offer us a great work, channelling their newfound clarity into the finest art they’ve ever made. With his new comedy show and début novel, has Louis C.K. met the bar?
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
www.newyorker.com/culture/crit...
Louis C.K.’s Next Chapter
In a new standup special, and a début novel, the comedian navigates murky, post-#MeToo terrain: not quite exiled, not quite welcomed back.
www.newyorker.com
November 29, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Hey neat flawed premise New Yorker. Way to present it like it's facts.
"The Republicans only have about two months left to live."
-James Carville, every three months
-James Carville, every three months
November 24, 2025 at 7:39 PM
"The Republicans only have about two months left to live."
-James Carville, every three months
-James Carville, every three months