Bespoke Swears
@bespokeswears.bsky.social
Grumpy old lesbian in small-town Aotearoa. Amateur bagel baker, gardener, bird nerd. Rants about NZ politics, feminism, human rights and evil supermarkets guaranteed. She/her.
Welp. Looks like I'm Cohen the Barbarian.
December 29, 2025 at 9:42 PM
Welp. Looks like I'm Cohen the Barbarian.
Meri Kirihimete ki a koutou! Christmas in our house starts with pavlova for breakfast. Looks just like Nadia's, as always 😁
December 24, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Meri Kirihimete ki a koutou! Christmas in our house starts with pavlova for breakfast. Looks just like Nadia's, as always 😁
Our Christmas tradition is to get together with a good friend, and anyone else who wants to visit. We get the My Food Bag Christmas box so no one had to think or make decisions or go to the supermarket on Xmas eve. Then we eat good food, talk shit and play boardgames for a couple days...
December 24, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Our Christmas tradition is to get together with a good friend, and anyone else who wants to visit. We get the My Food Bag Christmas box so no one had to think or make decisions or go to the supermarket on Xmas eve. Then we eat good food, talk shit and play boardgames for a couple days...
I'm fascinated by the decision-making in this second-hand bookshop. I don't think they're using the Dewey decimal system.
December 19, 2025 at 11:43 PM
I'm fascinated by the decision-making in this second-hand bookshop. I don't think they're using the Dewey decimal system.
Every announcement from this government makes me furious. #nzpol
a woman in a black dress says it-it-the-f-it-flam-flames
Alt: Clip from the movie 'Clue'. Madeline Kahn in a black dress saying "it-it-the-f-it-flam-flames, Flames on the side of my face..."
media.tenor.com
December 15, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Every announcement from this government makes me furious. #nzpol
Someone has donated an incredible collection of shoes to the Foxton Op Shop - if only I could walk in heels! (They're size 39-41, if anyone's interested!) 👠🇳🇿
December 12, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Someone has donated an incredible collection of shoes to the Foxton Op Shop - if only I could walk in heels! (They're size 39-41, if anyone's interested!) 👠🇳🇿
I cannot sit in the correct ergonomic position at my desk because the dog is sleeping on the wheel of my chair. 🐶🇳🇿
December 10, 2025 at 1:18 AM
I cannot sit in the correct ergonomic position at my desk because the dog is sleeping on the wheel of my chair. 🐶🇳🇿
THE COVER! 💚
✨ We're thrilled to announce Hungus by Amber Esau (Ngāpuhi / Manase) is coming 12 March 2026 – the arrival of a dazzling new voice in Aotearoa poetry.
teherengawakapress.co.nz/products/hun...
teherengawakapress.co.nz/products/hun...
December 4, 2025 at 2:48 AM
THE COVER! 💚
If I behaved in work meetings like this I would be severely reprimanded, or sacked. Cut his fucking pay, or something, if he can't answer straight forward questions without being a cunt.
And the award for the worst performance of projection, goes to David Seymour.
"That's a performance! You're just doing a political performance!" Said the politician, performing like a spoiled child getting asked a simple question...
People vote for this idiot? What's in the water in Epsom?
#nzpol
"That's a performance! You're just doing a political performance!" Said the politician, performing like a spoiled child getting asked a simple question...
People vote for this idiot? What's in the water in Epsom?
#nzpol
December 3, 2025 at 11:15 PM
If I behaved in work meetings like this I would be severely reprimanded, or sacked. Cut his fucking pay, or something, if he can't answer straight forward questions without being a cunt.
Love that Stuff used a shot from Karen O’Leary’s Full Disclosure podcast for this finance dude’s photo 😁🌈
December 1, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Love that Stuff used a shot from Karen O’Leary’s Full Disclosure podcast for this finance dude’s photo 😁🌈
This is such an incredible book. Radically personal and political. 💚#nzbooks
'Strong contender for nonfiction book of the year' – Nadine Hura's 'Slowing the Sun' is back on the Unity Wellington bestseller list!
thespinoff.co.nz/books/28-11...
thespinoff.co.nz/books/28-11...
November 28, 2025 at 8:18 AM
This is such an incredible book. Radically personal and political. 💚#nzbooks
"Incoherent misstep" is such a polite way to say "gigantic fuck up", I might start using it at work.
November 27, 2025 at 8:04 PM
"Incoherent misstep" is such a polite way to say "gigantic fuck up", I might start using it at work.
It had to happen at some point. Yesterday I dropped an entire case of wine on the stockroom floor. Entry in the health and safety register just reads "BE MORE CAREFUL, ME!"
a cartoon cow with the words `` and number three be careful out there '' written on it
ALT: a cartoon cow with the words `` and number three be careful out there '' written on it
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 10:47 PM
It had to happen at some point. Yesterday I dropped an entire case of wine on the stockroom floor. Entry in the health and safety register just reads "BE MORE CAREFUL, ME!"
Finally signed up for Good Bitches Baking! The rage is overwhelming me a little at the moment, and I’m hoping that baking and giving kai will help me reconnect with hope and joy.
November 19, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Finally signed up for Good Bitches Baking! The rage is overwhelming me a little at the moment, and I’m hoping that baking and giving kai will help me reconnect with hope and joy.
Reposted by Bespoke Swears
This is upsetting on so many levels. Banning new prescriptions is extremely harmful and doing this during trans awareness week, a few days before the transgender day of remembrance just makes it so much worse.
www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...
www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...
Govt halts new puberty blockers prescriptions for gender-affirming care
Green Party MP Ricardo Menéndez March says the government is "buying into imported culture wars" .
www.rnz.co.nz
November 19, 2025 at 7:43 AM
This is upsetting on so many levels. Banning new prescriptions is extremely harmful and doing this during trans awareness week, a few days before the transgender day of remembrance just makes it so much worse.
www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...
www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...
Reposted by Bespoke Swears
If you need any evidence that our trans whānau bare the brunt of this society that serves none of us. We should be protecting our trans whānau at all costs.
November 19, 2025 at 8:30 AM
If you need any evidence that our trans whānau bare the brunt of this society that serves none of us. We should be protecting our trans whānau at all costs.
$4 BILLION to save 'up to 10 minutes' during peak traffic. Fucking hell - imagine what that $4B could do for housing, education, health, etc, in Aotearoa.
November 16, 2025 at 11:33 PM
$4 BILLION to save 'up to 10 minutes' during peak traffic. Fucking hell - imagine what that $4B could do for housing, education, health, etc, in Aotearoa.
Are they though?
November 11, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Are they though?
Please don't email a company to say you "love supporting NZ-owned companies, love sustainability, can I have a discount because I want to buy [an unremarkable number of items]?" 🙄
November 10, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Please don't email a company to say you "love supporting NZ-owned companies, love sustainability, can I have a discount because I want to buy [an unremarkable number of items]?" 🙄
Invited people round for a bbq, so now we HAVE to clean the bbq. Genius!
November 7, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Invited people round for a bbq, so now we HAVE to clean the bbq. Genius!
Not looking forward to all the fawning media coverage that Foodstuffs will get for donating just over $300 per store per year to a charity helping families facing hardship.
www.fmcgbusiness.co.nz/fsni-partner...
www.fmcgbusiness.co.nz/fsni-partner...
FSNI partners with the Kindness Collective - FMCG Business
Foodstuffs North Island has announced a new three-year partnership with the Kindness Collective that will see $100,000 contributed each year to support the charity’s programmes and initiatives.
www.fmcgbusiness.co.nz
November 4, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Not looking forward to all the fawning media coverage that Foodstuffs will get for donating just over $300 per store per year to a charity helping families facing hardship.
www.fmcgbusiness.co.nz/fsni-partner...
www.fmcgbusiness.co.nz/fsni-partner...
If it all goes to plan, these are going to be blueberries one day! 🇳🇿🌿
November 1, 2025 at 10:04 PM
If it all goes to plan, these are going to be blueberries one day! 🇳🇿🌿
Our vet diagnosed Bea with 'garbagitis' this week. She's so bloody proud of herself, the little hoover.
October 31, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Our vet diagnosed Bea with 'garbagitis' this week. She's so bloody proud of herself, the little hoover.
I know some NZ politicians who could do with reading the entire BWB back catalogue...
28 October marks Te Pūtake o te Riri, He Rā Maumahara – the national day of commemoration for the New Zealand Wars.
Explore these histories with works by Vincent O’Malley, Hazel Riseborough, Judith Binney & more:
🔗 www.bwb.co.nz/books/history
#TePutakeoteRiri #HeRaMaumahara #NZHistory #Aotearoa
Explore these histories with works by Vincent O’Malley, Hazel Riseborough, Judith Binney & more:
🔗 www.bwb.co.nz/books/history
#TePutakeoteRiri #HeRaMaumahara #NZHistory #Aotearoa
October 27, 2025 at 11:16 PM
I know some NZ politicians who could do with reading the entire BWB back catalogue...
Oh my god, National are so fucking out of touch and useless. This is a genuine Facebook post. Over 450 comments and I didn't see anything positive. #nzpol
October 23, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Oh my god, National are so fucking out of touch and useless. This is a genuine Facebook post. Over 450 comments and I didn't see anything positive. #nzpol