Bellend Sebastian
@bellendsebastian.bsky.social
"Difficult to buy for" Unknowable, or simply boring? Tall, likes crisps, can read, guitars, running (away from death).Mister, won't you tell me where my love has gone?
I hate the phrase 'mindless vandalism', it's a right cop out. Where's the curiosity? WHY DID YOU DO IT?? There must be a reason, even if it's a shit one. It's like we don't want to know
December 13, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I hate the phrase 'mindless vandalism', it's a right cop out. Where's the curiosity? WHY DID YOU DO IT?? There must be a reason, even if it's a shit one. It's like we don't want to know
Spent ages putting the Christmas lights on the front of the house, forgetting that I was putting up the ones that work when you test them before spending ages up a ladder after which they don't work, so that was good
December 9, 2025 at 7:48 AM
Spent ages putting the Christmas lights on the front of the house, forgetting that I was putting up the ones that work when you test them before spending ages up a ladder after which they don't work, so that was good
Reposted by Bellend Sebastian
WOLF: little pig, little pig, let me come in
PIG: not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!
WOLF: what
PIG: i said go away!!
WOLF: no say what you said before
PIG: seriously fuck off
PIG: not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!
WOLF: what
PIG: i said go away!!
WOLF: no say what you said before
PIG: seriously fuck off
December 8, 2025 at 4:56 PM
WOLF: little pig, little pig, let me come in
PIG: not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!
WOLF: what
PIG: i said go away!!
WOLF: no say what you said before
PIG: seriously fuck off
PIG: not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!
WOLF: what
PIG: i said go away!!
WOLF: no say what you said before
PIG: seriously fuck off
Toilet technology previously unknown to me could be a real game changer. From a very forward thinking curry house I visited last night
December 7, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Toilet technology previously unknown to me could be a real game changer. From a very forward thinking curry house I visited last night
Official message from the kids football team politely asking the parents to shut the fuck up with their bullshit instructions because it's confusing the players LOLZ
December 7, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Official message from the kids football team politely asking the parents to shut the fuck up with their bullshit instructions because it's confusing the players LOLZ
Overheard a bloke moaning that his Tesla won't let him watch the football when he's driving
December 7, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Overheard a bloke moaning that his Tesla won't let him watch the football when he's driving
I've pretty much put my hands beyond use but I've actually fixed the washing machine and I cannot quite believe it
December 7, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I've pretty much put my hands beyond use but I've actually fixed the washing machine and I cannot quite believe it
Made friends with a dog in the pub that was desperate to make friends. I'm here for you, Daisy Dog. Daisy Dog probably saying much the same thing
December 7, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Made friends with a dog in the pub that was desperate to make friends. I'm here for you, Daisy Dog. Daisy Dog probably saying much the same thing
Seen close at hand this week how going from having enough money to more than you could ever need can make you go a bit mad. More than a bit, if we're honest
December 6, 2025 at 9:59 AM
Seen close at hand this week how going from having enough money to more than you could ever need can make you go a bit mad. More than a bit, if we're honest
I see the media company that hoovered up all the local newspapers is now engagement farming with stories about potential restrictions on log burners, to predictable effect
December 6, 2025 at 7:54 AM
I see the media company that hoovered up all the local newspapers is now engagement farming with stories about potential restrictions on log burners, to predictable effect
The dehumidifier has been repaired, Christmas is BACK ON
December 5, 2025 at 6:46 PM
The dehumidifier has been repaired, Christmas is BACK ON
I actively want the hamster to climb the Christmas Tree
December 4, 2025 at 8:07 PM
I actively want the hamster to climb the Christmas Tree
I don't know what Dubai chocolate is but it was supposedly out of stock everywhere but my local Sainsbury's has had it throughout, now heavily discounted down from being absurdly overpriced. Was it all a load of old shit? Can't believe that could happen
December 4, 2025 at 5:14 PM
I don't know what Dubai chocolate is but it was supposedly out of stock everywhere but my local Sainsbury's has had it throughout, now heavily discounted down from being absurdly overpriced. Was it all a load of old shit? Can't believe that could happen
Farewell, The Colonel
December 3, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Farewell, The Colonel
What a cracking understudy he would be. I'm sorry kids, the animatronic Paddington has broken down, but there is some good news
December 1, 2025 at 9:57 PM
What a cracking understudy he would be. I'm sorry kids, the animatronic Paddington has broken down, but there is some good news
Yes the 11ft Christmas tree at work is too big and yes it did fall over
November 28, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Yes the 11ft Christmas tree at work is too big and yes it did fall over
Just remembered that earlier in the week someone at work not only forgot to lock the toilet door but to actually shut it when taking a dump
November 28, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Just remembered that earlier in the week someone at work not only forgot to lock the toilet door but to actually shut it when taking a dump
I work with people who earn six figure salaries and no it does not make them happy
November 27, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I work with people who earn six figure salaries and no it does not make them happy
We had so many adventures planned, FML etc
November 23, 2025 at 6:02 PM
We had so many adventures planned, FML etc
My 13 year old was just singing Piano Man by Billy Joel, who I was really into when I was about 13 but haven't played during my son's lifetime, it seems we really have come full circle
November 22, 2025 at 11:05 AM
My 13 year old was just singing Piano Man by Billy Joel, who I was really into when I was about 13 but haven't played during my son's lifetime, it seems we really have come full circle
I own black neon tetras and this is exactly the sort of thing they would do
November 20, 2025 at 7:41 AM
I own black neon tetras and this is exactly the sort of thing they would do
The dehumidifier is on the blink, this is literally the worst thing that has ever happened
November 19, 2025 at 3:00 PM
The dehumidifier is on the blink, this is literally the worst thing that has ever happened
If there's one thing that kids' football has taught me is that there's a section of the community so blind with rage that any concept of your decisions might lead to bad outcomes for you has just gone
November 17, 2025 at 8:07 AM
If there's one thing that kids' football has taught me is that there's a section of the community so blind with rage that any concept of your decisions might lead to bad outcomes for you has just gone
Fresh from returning from a 3 match ban for doing a racism, my son's team mate today received another red card for calling the referee 'a fat twat'. Perhaps not the injustice his dad felt it was (the players's, not the ref's)
November 16, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Fresh from returning from a 3 match ban for doing a racism, my son's team mate today received another red card for calling the referee 'a fat twat'. Perhaps not the injustice his dad felt it was (the players's, not the ref's)
It's not the illegal migration that's tearing the UK apart, it's people going on about it
November 16, 2025 at 10:09 PM
It's not the illegal migration that's tearing the UK apart, it's people going on about it