Beep Thief
@beepthief.bsky.social
Sports radio host, 2005-2025:
“… there’s an athletic difference. When I watch basketball, I want to see the best of the best. I watch the game in order to see feats of athletic excellence unmatched in any other human arena. The men do that.
Ok, next, we re-draft the All Stars by hair coverage! 😂🤪”
“… there’s an athletic difference. When I watch basketball, I want to see the best of the best. I watch the game in order to see feats of athletic excellence unmatched in any other human arena. The men do that.
Ok, next, we re-draft the All Stars by hair coverage! 😂🤪”
January 9, 2026 at 2:25 PM
Sports radio host, 2005-2025:
“… there’s an athletic difference. When I watch basketball, I want to see the best of the best. I watch the game in order to see feats of athletic excellence unmatched in any other human arena. The men do that.
Ok, next, we re-draft the All Stars by hair coverage! 😂🤪”
“… there’s an athletic difference. When I watch basketball, I want to see the best of the best. I watch the game in order to see feats of athletic excellence unmatched in any other human arena. The men do that.
Ok, next, we re-draft the All Stars by hair coverage! 😂🤪”
Reposted by Beep Thief
Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.
January 9, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.
There is an enormous scandal brewing in the Uvalde trial, and I have sense it goes very very far and wide.
January 9, 2026 at 2:10 AM
There is an enormous scandal brewing in the Uvalde trial, and I have sense it goes very very far and wide.
There hasn’t been a new flavor since Cool Ranch. That was the GLP-1 of flavors and we only know now.
January 9, 2026 at 1:04 AM
There hasn’t been a new flavor since Cool Ranch. That was the GLP-1 of flavors and we only know now.
So that kid is going to grow up and during his or her life, video of his or mother being murdered will be “memed” at him or her forever, by the children of the kinds of people who support ICE, and then by the adults who do. There’s literally nothing anyone can do about that, and it’ll start now.
January 7, 2026 at 11:31 PM
So that kid is going to grow up and during his or her life, video of his or mother being murdered will be “memed” at him or her forever, by the children of the kinds of people who support ICE, and then by the adults who do. There’s literally nothing anyone can do about that, and it’ll start now.
Must know his name before tomorrow.
January 7, 2026 at 9:17 PM
Must know his name before tomorrow.
The Minneapolis Four Seasons is entirely premised on pro sports team travel, right? Because otherwise, that’s very funny!
January 7, 2026 at 3:01 AM
The Minneapolis Four Seasons is entirely premised on pro sports team travel, right? Because otherwise, that’s very funny!
Those glass doors on the left enter into a children’s gymnasium. This is the most braindead parking job I’ve ever seen. If they looked in their rear view mirror while backing up, they would have seen small children in leotards get extremely large and closer than I could ever imagine. I hate the USA.
January 6, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Those glass doors on the left enter into a children’s gymnasium. This is the most braindead parking job I’ve ever seen. If they looked in their rear view mirror while backing up, they would have seen small children in leotards get extremely large and closer than I could ever imagine. I hate the USA.
I just finally realized I have a cool scar on the side of my head, three parallel lines, where I fell down the escalator at grand central like ten years ago. Kinda looks like a claw wound.
January 6, 2026 at 8:40 PM
I just finally realized I have a cool scar on the side of my head, three parallel lines, where I fell down the escalator at grand central like ten years ago. Kinda looks like a claw wound.
So incredibly obviously a gambling scam here
January 6, 2026 at 3:39 AM
So incredibly obviously a gambling scam here
New Metroid is just bad.
January 5, 2026 at 6:55 PM
New Metroid is just bad.
Shakespeare invented the “… not!” zinger, not J Whedon.
January 5, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Shakespeare invented the “… not!” zinger, not J Whedon.
You ever seen a cookbook written, photographed, and published all in a state of lesbian arousal.
January 4, 2026 at 3:40 PM
You ever seen a cookbook written, photographed, and published all in a state of lesbian arousal.
Guy who starts watching gay porn because seeing women makes him feel like he’s he’s being unfaithful to his wife.
January 4, 2026 at 3:08 PM
Guy who starts watching gay porn because seeing women makes him feel like he’s he’s being unfaithful to his wife.
When you absolutely have to look 38 years old
January 4, 2026 at 12:54 AM
When you absolutely have to look 38 years old
I think the International Style guys were right, the anti-ornament guys were right, the “modern architecture” guys were right, the idealists were right. I’m glad the old ways existed like I’m glad the Grand Canyon exists. Life+Online would be better in Chandigarh or in the Unité d'Habitation.
January 3, 2026 at 1:43 AM
I think the International Style guys were right, the anti-ornament guys were right, the “modern architecture” guys were right, the idealists were right. I’m glad the old ways existed like I’m glad the Grand Canyon exists. Life+Online would be better in Chandigarh or in the Unité d'Habitation.
No red meat in all of 2025. Hardly even crossed my mind past like February. Only thing I sort of miss is the sensory experience of searing a steak on the stove. Fun to sear.
January 2, 2026 at 9:08 PM
No red meat in all of 2025. Hardly even crossed my mind past like February. Only thing I sort of miss is the sensory experience of searing a steak on the stove. Fun to sear.
When I’m dying I’m going to leave like 800 dollars in cash on the dining room table and laugh about what happens to it.
January 2, 2026 at 7:52 PM
When I’m dying I’m going to leave like 800 dollars in cash on the dining room table and laugh about what happens to it.
An elderly guy at the hardware store claims he fixes antique lamps, so I brought one to him, a beautiful old chandelier, in march of 2020, and I think it would be really funny to call him and be really mad about it being so late.
January 2, 2026 at 7:08 PM
An elderly guy at the hardware store claims he fixes antique lamps, so I brought one to him, a beautiful old chandelier, in march of 2020, and I think it would be really funny to call him and be really mad about it being so late.
Ok, Mamdani and wife were both absurdly costumed. Wonderful speech, big fan, love them all. But—
January 2, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Ok, Mamdani and wife were both absurdly costumed. Wonderful speech, big fan, love them all. But—
It’s June, 1945. I’m 6, picking milkweed pods by the fistful. In my head in doing sums: they said that this many pods would make this many vests and the vests could keep a soldier like Dad alive in the ocean for this long, long enough to be saved by a rescue ship. I squeeze my fist. I drop the pod.
January 1, 2026 at 6:41 PM
It’s June, 1945. I’m 6, picking milkweed pods by the fistful. In my head in doing sums: they said that this many pods would make this many vests and the vests could keep a soldier like Dad alive in the ocean for this long, long enough to be saved by a rescue ship. I squeeze my fist. I drop the pod.
When Malvolio says “yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me…” about the letters M.O.A.I, this is how I read. I crush things to be for me.
January 1, 2026 at 2:38 AM
When Malvolio says “yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me…” about the letters M.O.A.I, this is how I read. I crush things to be for me.
This morning one child pried my eyelids open, another child, who was now in my bed, looked down at me and said (referring to my whole body) “That’s a big poop.”, the other then tore my sheet off and punched me right in the penis through my underwear and shouted “Say it again!” at the other child.
January 1, 2026 at 12:44 AM
This morning one child pried my eyelids open, another child, who was now in my bed, looked down at me and said (referring to my whole body) “That’s a big poop.”, the other then tore my sheet off and punched me right in the penis through my underwear and shouted “Say it again!” at the other child.