Andy Beckerman
@andybeckerman.bsky.social
I host the Beginnings & Couples Therapy podcasts. TV writer. Former philosophy professor. Casiopop king. Figuring out dystopia.
You all mock and sneer at AI, yet thanks to it, I was finally was able to live out my creative dream of putting Yoda in Meet the Fockers, and it only poisoned 18 Texas municipalities!
December 25, 2025 at 7:31 PM
You all mock and sneer at AI, yet thanks to it, I was finally was able to live out my creative dream of putting Yoda in Meet the Fockers, and it only poisoned 18 Texas municipalities!
Me: It’s a drawing of a pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog. And he’s using a breast pump.
Alex Horne: The category was “Most intellectual green thing”
Me: Well, then change the fucking category. “Most pregnant Sonic”. Okay?
Greg (screaming at a producer): This is the 8th episode in a row he’s done this!
Alex Horne: The category was “Most intellectual green thing”
Me: Well, then change the fucking category. “Most pregnant Sonic”. Okay?
Greg (screaming at a producer): This is the 8th episode in a row he’s done this!
December 25, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Me: It’s a drawing of a pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog. And he’s using a breast pump.
Alex Horne: The category was “Most intellectual green thing”
Me: Well, then change the fucking category. “Most pregnant Sonic”. Okay?
Greg (screaming at a producer): This is the 8th episode in a row he’s done this!
Alex Horne: The category was “Most intellectual green thing”
Me: Well, then change the fucking category. “Most pregnant Sonic”. Okay?
Greg (screaming at a producer): This is the 8th episode in a row he’s done this!
FYI, production design on War of the Roses was done by a Toast of London character
December 23, 2025 at 7:13 PM
FYI, production design on War of the Roses was done by a Toast of London character
I always felt @naomiekperigin.bsky.social had an all-time bit with this one that, depressingly, is more and more relevant every day.
December 19, 2025 at 8:16 PM
I always felt @naomiekperigin.bsky.social had an all-time bit with this one that, depressingly, is more and more relevant every day.
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Nice talk with musician Amy O! I love her albums a ton & we talk Back-to-the-land hippies, the ego death of parenthood, grief & creativity, art & commerce + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAmyO
Nice talk with musician Amy O! I love her albums a ton & we talk Back-to-the-land hippies, the ego death of parenthood, grief & creativity, art & commerce + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAmyO
December 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Nice talk with musician Amy O! I love her albums a ton & we talk Back-to-the-land hippies, the ego death of parenthood, grief & creativity, art & commerce + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAmyO
Nice talk with musician Amy O! I love her albums a ton & we talk Back-to-the-land hippies, the ego death of parenthood, grief & creativity, art & commerce + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAmyO
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
Reports say Dr Ruth came back to life and is talking about something called “Dark Sex”
December 18, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Reports say Dr Ruth came back to life and is talking about something called “Dark Sex”
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time.
February 8, 2025 at 6:56 AM
This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time.
Some good news! I'm excited to announce I will be writing and directing an It's Complicated legacyquel for Paramount+'s new "Fifth Reich" division!
December 16, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Some good news! I'm excited to announce I will be writing and directing an It's Complicated legacyquel for Paramount+'s new "Fifth Reich" division!
mmmm.... hamnet
December 12, 2025 at 10:59 PM
mmmm.... hamnet
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Great talk with experimental musician Claire Rousay! Where a composition starts, the Times Square Olive Garden, being the jailer of your own emotions, evangelical hypocrisy + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsCl...
Great talk with experimental musician Claire Rousay! Where a composition starts, the Times Square Olive Garden, being the jailer of your own emotions, evangelical hypocrisy + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsCl...
December 12, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Great talk with experimental musician Claire Rousay! Where a composition starts, the Times Square Olive Garden, being the jailer of your own emotions, evangelical hypocrisy + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsCl...
Great talk with experimental musician Claire Rousay! Where a composition starts, the Times Square Olive Garden, being the jailer of your own emotions, evangelical hypocrisy + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsCl...
Listening to a podcast from 2018 & someone used the word “Skype”… the temporal dislocation I felt… “Skype”… a now ancient word… “Mr. Graham Bell’s telephonic device was on the fritz so I Skyped in with my bosom chum to gab about the latest talkies”
December 11, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Listening to a podcast from 2018 & someone used the word “Skype”… the temporal dislocation I felt… “Skype”… a now ancient word… “Mr. Graham Bell’s telephonic device was on the fritz so I Skyped in with my bosom chum to gab about the latest talkies”
Both David Lynch and David Cronenberg were in the running to direct Return of the Jedi, but Stanley Kubrick actually had the job for about a day until George Lucas fired him.
December 10, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Both David Lynch and David Cronenberg were in the running to direct Return of the Jedi, but Stanley Kubrick actually had the job for about a day until George Lucas fired him.
WTF ep. 1684:
Maron: Why did you go to Epstein’s island?
Matt Groening: Well, the Cape Feare episode of the Simpsons is a classic for many reasons.
M: No, I… you’re on the flight logs.
G: The rake gag, “I think he’s talking to you”
M: Infamous pedophile Jeffrey Epstein
G: “Bake him away, toys”
Maron: Why did you go to Epstein’s island?
Matt Groening: Well, the Cape Feare episode of the Simpsons is a classic for many reasons.
M: No, I… you’re on the flight logs.
G: The rake gag, “I think he’s talking to you”
M: Infamous pedophile Jeffrey Epstein
G: “Bake him away, toys”
December 9, 2025 at 11:09 PM
WTF ep. 1684:
Maron: Why did you go to Epstein’s island?
Matt Groening: Well, the Cape Feare episode of the Simpsons is a classic for many reasons.
M: No, I… you’re on the flight logs.
G: The rake gag, “I think he’s talking to you”
M: Infamous pedophile Jeffrey Epstein
G: “Bake him away, toys”
Maron: Why did you go to Epstein’s island?
Matt Groening: Well, the Cape Feare episode of the Simpsons is a classic for many reasons.
M: No, I… you’re on the flight logs.
G: The rake gag, “I think he’s talking to you”
M: Infamous pedophile Jeffrey Epstein
G: “Bake him away, toys”
The white supremacists who defend European culture as the apex of human achievement, none of these fuckers are reading Shakespeare or writing essays on Bruegel paintings. They play Tom Clancy video games and have difficulty with the maze on the back of a box of Count Chocula.
December 7, 2025 at 7:56 PM
The white supremacists who defend European culture as the apex of human achievement, none of these fuckers are reading Shakespeare or writing essays on Bruegel paintings. They play Tom Clancy video games and have difficulty with the maze on the back of a box of Count Chocula.
I'm not sure what to think about this transcript Ryan Lizza published of a call between Nuzzi and RFK Jr. that he secretly taped.
December 5, 2025 at 9:28 PM
I'm not sure what to think about this transcript Ryan Lizza published of a call between Nuzzi and RFK Jr. that he secretly taped.
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
It's the 700th episode & I'm celebrating with the wonderful @brianmbendis.bsky.social! Control issues & radical acceptance, Marvel & father issues, being addicted to collaboration + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsBMB
It's the 700th episode & I'm celebrating with the wonderful @brianmbendis.bsky.social! Control issues & radical acceptance, Marvel & father issues, being addicted to collaboration + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsBMB
December 5, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
It's the 700th episode & I'm celebrating with the wonderful @brianmbendis.bsky.social! Control issues & radical acceptance, Marvel & father issues, being addicted to collaboration + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsBMB
It's the 700th episode & I'm celebrating with the wonderful @brianmbendis.bsky.social! Control issues & radical acceptance, Marvel & father issues, being addicted to collaboration + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsBMB
I've been thinking about this for days... we live in such an ignorant time & yet I still can't believe that any layperson would have the gall to say that Kurt "Incompleteness Theorem" Gödel might not know what the fuck he's talking about when it comes to problems in the logic of a series of rules
December 5, 2025 at 12:01 AM
I've been thinking about this for days... we live in such an ignorant time & yet I still can't believe that any layperson would have the gall to say that Kurt "Incompleteness Theorem" Gödel might not know what the fuck he's talking about when it comes to problems in the logic of a series of rules
“You boy, what day is it? Uh-huh. Tuesday! Oh my, I *must* buy one of those newfangled calendars one of these days. While I have you here, do you remember the name of that be-snouted alien that eats cats? No, his real name! Willie named him ALF! He has a different name on Melmac. Gordon something.”
December 2, 2025 at 7:00 PM
“You boy, what day is it? Uh-huh. Tuesday! Oh my, I *must* buy one of those newfangled calendars one of these days. While I have you here, do you remember the name of that be-snouted alien that eats cats? No, his real name! Willie named him ALF! He has a different name on Melmac. Gordon something.”
“Matt Rife” is short for “Matt Rife with Venereal Disease”
December 2, 2025 at 3:20 AM
“Matt Rife” is short for “Matt Rife with Venereal Disease”
I'd like to thank the Committee for Behaving Like a Normal Person at a Party for this award for not once bringing up American nazis, Covid or neoliberalism to a single person at the party I was at last night. It was an honor to discuss UK Celebrity Traitors & not bird flu's 50% mortality rate.
November 30, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I'd like to thank the Committee for Behaving Like a Normal Person at a Party for this award for not once bringing up American nazis, Covid or neoliberalism to a single person at the party I was at last night. It was an honor to discuss UK Celebrity Traitors & not bird flu's 50% mortality rate.
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
October 14, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen
Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah
Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him
Tried to shop here today, and the salesperson looked me up and down, and said, “Are you lost, boo? The 99¢ store is two blocks east.”
November 27, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Tried to shop here today, and the salesperson looked me up and down, and said, “Are you lost, boo? The 99¢ store is two blocks east.”
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
We are the daughters of the cats Alf couldn't eat
November 17, 2025 at 9:47 PM
We are the daughters of the cats Alf couldn't eat
You know, Sarah Hurwitz is right, if you can just divorce your brain from the myriad images of shredded Palestinian children, and listen to the cold logic of what she's saying, you can say rationally, and not emotionally, that everything she says is the demented ramblings of a psychotic halfwit.
November 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
You know, Sarah Hurwitz is right, if you can just divorce your brain from the myriad images of shredded Palestinian children, and listen to the cold logic of what she's saying, you can say rationally, and not emotionally, that everything she says is the demented ramblings of a psychotic halfwit.
When you call ICE "nazis", very online people pop up to say *actually* Nazi Germany got ideas from the Jim Crow South. Here's the thing, considering 50% of America is functionally illiterate, I'm gonna namecheck the bad guys from FAMOUS MOVIE Indiana Jones rather than Corporal Cornelius Vandertits
November 22, 2025 at 6:40 AM
When you call ICE "nazis", very online people pop up to say *actually* Nazi Germany got ideas from the Jim Crow South. Here's the thing, considering 50% of America is functionally illiterate, I'm gonna namecheck the bad guys from FAMOUS MOVIE Indiana Jones rather than Corporal Cornelius Vandertits