Ali Garfinkel
@aligarchy.bsky.social
tv/film/game writer 📍 LA | NY
Pinned
Ali Garfinkel
@aligarchy.bsky.social
· Jul 3
so disappointed after seeing this photo & realizing that's a third llama in the back & not the arm of the right llama ringing a little bell
must be the microplastics in my brain that are making me so snacky
November 7, 2025 at 2:11 AM
must be the microplastics in my brain that are making me so snacky
*taking a handful of candy from every trick-or-treater who comes to my door* tariffs
October 31, 2025 at 9:00 AM
*taking a handful of candy from every trick-or-treater who comes to my door* tariffs
why is every sour candy maker such a pussy
October 21, 2025 at 3:06 AM
why is every sour candy maker such a pussy
centuries and centuries of human development simply to end up exactly how we've always been
September 14, 2025 at 4:23 AM
centuries and centuries of human development simply to end up exactly how we've always been
the germans don't do bloopers, they do krauttakes
September 4, 2025 at 2:27 AM
the germans don't do bloopers, they do krauttakes
Reposted by Ali Garfinkel
The Facebook people are here now (derogatory)
January 14, 2025 at 3:11 PM
The Facebook people are here now (derogatory)
a burger king commercial came on and in it were two older people wearing those paper crowns and without looking away from the screen my mom just goes "if you ever see me wearing a burger king crown i want you to shoot me on the spot. don't even let me explain."
August 16, 2025 at 4:36 PM
a burger king commercial came on and in it were two older people wearing those paper crowns and without looking away from the screen my mom just goes "if you ever see me wearing a burger king crown i want you to shoot me on the spot. don't even let me explain."
"too many people have main character syndrome" not me. i love being an npc. just idly standing around, watching the birds. oh you going on a quest? can you bring me back something
July 18, 2025 at 5:20 AM
"too many people have main character syndrome" not me. i love being an npc. just idly standing around, watching the birds. oh you going on a quest? can you bring me back something
hey did you know that if you knock down a wasp's nest it may be filled with spiders? did you know that? because i didn't know that. i didn't know that until it hit the ground and exploded on my bare feet
July 10, 2025 at 11:49 PM
hey did you know that if you knock down a wasp's nest it may be filled with spiders? did you know that? because i didn't know that. i didn't know that until it hit the ground and exploded on my bare feet
left one of my knees unshaven so i could have something to pet
June 26, 2025 at 11:51 PM
left one of my knees unshaven so i could have something to pet
[the devil, as kristi noem's fingertips slip through his grasp]: some day, my love
June 18, 2025 at 2:07 AM
[the devil, as kristi noem's fingertips slip through his grasp]: some day, my love
Reposted by Ali Garfinkel
did we really need to invent gogurt? is regular yogurt not already portable enough?
May 27, 2025 at 2:47 PM
did we really need to invent gogurt? is regular yogurt not already portable enough?
condensation is so pathetic like WHAT are u crying about u are a GLASS
June 1, 2025 at 4:33 AM
condensation is so pathetic like WHAT are u crying about u are a GLASS
turned 37 today which, in los angeles, qualifies me for a senior discount
May 29, 2025 at 1:10 AM
turned 37 today which, in los angeles, qualifies me for a senior discount
every painting from the 1800s is like ok girl get them titties out
May 25, 2025 at 7:45 PM
every painting from the 1800s is like ok girl get them titties out
when i say i’m enjoying a tv series and the person i’m talking to is like ‘you should read the books next’ it’s like sorry i’m watching 18 hours of television a day when would i possibly have time for a book
May 22, 2025 at 9:07 PM
when i say i’m enjoying a tv series and the person i’m talking to is like ‘you should read the books next’ it’s like sorry i’m watching 18 hours of television a day when would i possibly have time for a book
Reposted by Ali Garfinkel
sorry i’m late bro there were enemies nearby and i couldn’t fast travel
May 19, 2025 at 2:46 AM
sorry i’m late bro there were enemies nearby and i couldn’t fast travel
happy mother's day to the woman who will still swaddle me upon request
May 12, 2025 at 12:27 AM
happy mother's day to the woman who will still swaddle me upon request
look when it comes to sailor moon personally i would not be jazzed if my life were in danger and a masked tuxedo man in a cape and top hat showed up throwing flowers and reciting poetry
May 11, 2025 at 1:59 AM
look when it comes to sailor moon personally i would not be jazzed if my life were in danger and a masked tuxedo man in a cape and top hat showed up throwing flowers and reciting poetry
as kids my sister & i would annoy each other so badly in the car & it'd piss my mom off. she'd go 'GIRLS ENOUGH! Hands in your laps & look out your windows' & we'd be like jeez whats her deal. & now that i think about it it was prob bc our idea of 'joking around' was unbuckling each others seatbelts
May 8, 2025 at 2:10 AM
as kids my sister & i would annoy each other so badly in the car & it'd piss my mom off. she'd go 'GIRLS ENOUGH! Hands in your laps & look out your windows' & we'd be like jeez whats her deal. & now that i think about it it was prob bc our idea of 'joking around' was unbuckling each others seatbelts
sometimes art just speaks to you
May 3, 2025 at 11:52 PM
sometimes art just speaks to you
my bf [lying to his friends about why my arm is in a sling]: uhh she's fine she just fell--
me [being brave]: i was trying to rip a peach along its butt crease with my bare hands and banged my elbow against the desk so hard it made me cry
me [being brave]: i was trying to rip a peach along its butt crease with my bare hands and banged my elbow against the desk so hard it made me cry
May 1, 2025 at 10:53 PM
my bf [lying to his friends about why my arm is in a sling]: uhh she's fine she just fell--
me [being brave]: i was trying to rip a peach along its butt crease with my bare hands and banged my elbow against the desk so hard it made me cry
me [being brave]: i was trying to rip a peach along its butt crease with my bare hands and banged my elbow against the desk so hard it made me cry
inside me are two prebiotic sodas, locked in a battle for my gut health. they will both kill me
April 19, 2025 at 2:18 AM
inside me are two prebiotic sodas, locked in a battle for my gut health. they will both kill me