agile walrus
agilewalrus.bsky.social
agile walrus
@agilewalrus.bsky.social
Human dad. Plant dad. Excel dad. Human Greg. STL.
The baby tracking app we used allowed us to add a note when logging sleep, feedings, diaper changes, etc., and I used that opportunity to christen every poop for the first 1.5 years of our son’s life with a clever name. Needless to say, predictive text now has some wild datapoints.
November 11, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Just another missed opportunity for the funniest possible brand collaboration for a US race- imagine those tortoise sections replaced by the sublime texture of “The Meats™️”
October 17, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Clockwise from top: Kareem Abdul-Jabbear, e e hummings, Snail Earnhardt Jr., William Floward Taft, Moose Springsteen, Ruth Bader Finsberg
July 18, 2025 at 3:45 AM
A golden hour disc golf round may have fixed me. Also, look at these sassy little catalpa trees
July 17, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Hey guys, I brought in my favorite video game. Yeah, it’s called Excel, but I’m really engrossed in this solo campaign right now, so I’m just going to play at my desk.
July 12, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Reposted by agile walrus
Rich guy named Ebenezer in Houston starting up a hip-hop record label. he calls it “Chopped and Scrooged”
June 19, 2025 at 4:23 PM
@spannersready.bsky.social had him sounding like Jimmy Consonants
June 14, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Reposted by agile walrus
Who called it Car Talk and not Vehicular Man’s Laughter
May 22, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Guys, they put @drkarenwog.bsky.social’s car in Gran Turismo. I drive our 3 year-old to daycare in this thing constantly. If you need me, I’ll be at Nurburgring.
May 16, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Another missed opportunity to acknowledge their true identity
May 1, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Reposted by agile walrus
[FDR, December 7th, 1941, off-mic]
Yamamoto’s command is so good tonight. That sinker just now was filthy.
April 19, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Don’t mean to alarm anyone but I just leveled up
February 8, 2025 at 5:14 AM
It is synthwave as hell out tonight
January 31, 2025 at 2:53 AM
January 17, 2025 at 4:27 AM
STALE DOOZER STICK
January 16, 2025 at 1:51 AM
All sleet sleet… god damn
January 5, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Mannheim Steamroller is fine, but life would be that much richer if Manny Fresh and Timbaland put out some Christmas instrumentals
December 24, 2024 at 3:45 PM
It burns me up that Lowe’s never did an ad campaign with Ludacris using a modified version of the “Area Codes” hook. Would have been knocking around in our heads eternally, and god damnit, it’s probably Bill O’Reilly’s fault.
November 29, 2024 at 5:44 AM
November 27, 2024 at 2:48 AM