Marc Gasway
@50pagemcgee.bsky.social
Learn to tell the difference between the lies you tell yourself to make yourself feel better and the truths you tell yourself for the same reason.
"We actually have two bits of good news. We figured out what was wrong with your dog, *and* we found your lost cat.
Now for the bad news..."
Now for the bad news..."
June 23, 2025 at 4:21 PM
"We actually have two bits of good news. We figured out what was wrong with your dog, *and* we found your lost cat.
Now for the bad news..."
Now for the bad news..."
If I were Adlai Stevenson, I’d have saved my breath and just fired back at Valerian Zorin with “more like ‘Union of the Bloviate Socialist Republics”, then leaned into the mic and whispered “Cold War over, y’all” and left.
June 21, 2025 at 6:01 PM
If I were Adlai Stevenson, I’d have saved my breath and just fired back at Valerian Zorin with “more like ‘Union of the Bloviate Socialist Republics”, then leaned into the mic and whispered “Cold War over, y’all” and left.
“JFC, read the *room* Largest Great White Shark on Record!”
June 13, 2025 at 6:35 PM
“JFC, read the *room* Largest Great White Shark on Record!”
This ad, like: “Hey babe, I noticed earlier when I was railing you from behind, you could use something for that eczema.”
June 1, 2025 at 1:40 AM
This ad, like: “Hey babe, I noticed earlier when I was railing you from behind, you could use something for that eczema.”
@kavehmd.bsky.social every time I hear that pretty, shimmering string swirl right before one of your episodes is about to be interrupted by an advertisement, I think of this line from Nightmares And Dreamscapes:
May 28, 2025 at 10:26 PM
@kavehmd.bsky.social every time I hear that pretty, shimmering string swirl right before one of your episodes is about to be interrupted by an advertisement, I think of this line from Nightmares And Dreamscapes:
What on earth is the point of running your toothbrush under the tap before you stick it in your mouth? What are you, trying to activate the paste or some shit? Just get on with it already. Jesus.
May 24, 2025 at 12:09 AM
What on earth is the point of running your toothbrush under the tap before you stick it in your mouth? What are you, trying to activate the paste or some shit? Just get on with it already. Jesus.
God. He must fucking suck at Oregon Trail.
May 8, 2025 at 5:46 AM
God. He must fucking suck at Oregon Trail.
I’m gonna guess that a solid 99.9 percent of houses with a conch shell bought. Like, fuck you poser. Ain’t no way you just found that thing.
April 18, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I’m gonna guess that a solid 99.9 percent of houses with a conch shell bought. Like, fuck you poser. Ain’t no way you just found that thing.
Actual footage of Kaveh’s coworkers today: youtu.be/yqwEHn-rCxw?...
Book of love 3
YouTube video by Pinkstonnaked
youtu.be
April 12, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Actual footage of Kaveh’s coworkers today: youtu.be/yqwEHn-rCxw?...
@kavehmd.bsky.social when you’re doing a procedure on your birthday, do the nurses and other doctors ever wheel the patient in with a candle sticking out of his butt while singing happy birthday?
April 12, 2025 at 5:08 PM
@kavehmd.bsky.social when you’re doing a procedure on your birthday, do the nurses and other doctors ever wheel the patient in with a candle sticking out of his butt while singing happy birthday?
There was a time that I thought “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” meant that if you wanted to pinch a woman’s ass, you ought to be okay just looking at it.
April 9, 2025 at 6:48 PM
There was a time that I thought “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” meant that if you wanted to pinch a woman’s ass, you ought to be okay just looking at it.
There are times I get sad that Alan Tudyk died. Then I remember, “no, that was Wash. AT is still alive”.
April 8, 2025 at 2:12 AM
There are times I get sad that Alan Tudyk died. Then I remember, “no, that was Wash. AT is still alive”.
Hang on. Did I just get called an easily controlled zombie automaton? Easily controlled? Fine. Automaton? Sure, sure. But zombie? I’m drinking from a water fountain, not a braaaains fountain.
April 2, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Hang on. Did I just get called an easily controlled zombie automaton? Easily controlled? Fine. Automaton? Sure, sure. But zombie? I’m drinking from a water fountain, not a braaaains fountain.
It’s so interesting, listening back this morning, how obvious it was that what you were asking is “why do you think we need fluoride in our toothpaste *and* our water, and not just one or the other?”
I told you, I need to be caffeinated.
I told you, I need to be caffeinated.
April 1, 2025 at 5:05 PM
It’s so interesting, listening back this morning, how obvious it was that what you were asking is “why do you think we need fluoride in our toothpaste *and* our water, and not just one or the other?”
I told you, I need to be caffeinated.
I told you, I need to be caffeinated.
There remains no clearer an expression of the union between obliviousness and straight up rudeness than the average person’s behavior while shopping at Costco.
March 25, 2025 at 8:02 PM
There remains no clearer an expression of the union between obliviousness and straight up rudeness than the average person’s behavior while shopping at Costco.
not online enough to know whether everyone has already made this joke.
March 16, 2025 at 9:29 PM
not online enough to know whether everyone has already made this joke.
Saw this headline and one jiliion percent expected Pete Davidson.
March 16, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Saw this headline and one jiliion percent expected Pete Davidson.
Photo credit to Annie Lesser!
February 28, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Photo credit to Annie Lesser!
“Yeah, I make bad puns about Korea. What are you Gwangju about it?”
February 1, 2025 at 8:08 PM
“Yeah, I make bad puns about Korea. What are you Gwangju about it?”
I’d rather have salt in front of me than a frontal assault in me.
January 20, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I’d rather have salt in front of me than a frontal assault in me.
Oh how nice! That whole day was just a perpetual motion machine of my friends coming through for me. Real team effort.
January 7, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Oh how nice! That whole day was just a perpetual motion machine of my friends coming through for me. Real team effort.
Hey, it was just your birthday sometime this year, right? Happy birthday!
January 1, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Hey, it was just your birthday sometime this year, right? Happy birthday!
He and I agreed afterwards that the joke would have been funnier if I’d changed his name a little every time.
In fairness I do think “Corvette” would be a bad-ass nickname.
In fairness I do think “Corvette” would be a bad-ass nickname.
December 25, 2024 at 7:07 PM
He and I agreed afterwards that the joke would have been funnier if I’d changed his name a little every time.
In fairness I do think “Corvette” would be a bad-ass nickname.
In fairness I do think “Corvette” would be a bad-ass nickname.
Like honestly what on Earth or outer space IS THAT FUCKING THING?? EEWWW!
December 6, 2024 at 4:59 AM
Like honestly what on Earth or outer space IS THAT FUCKING THING?? EEWWW!