@zb216.bsky.social
Reposted
DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes https://theonion.com/doj-releases-jerome-powell-deepfake-nudes/
January 12, 2026 at 9:45 PM
DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes https://theonion.com/doj-releases-jerome-powell-deepfake-nudes/
Reposted
X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures https://theonion.com/x-users-ask-grok-to-put-more-clothes-on-elon-musk-pictures/
January 12, 2026 at 8:15 PM
X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures https://theonion.com/x-users-ask-grok-to-put-more-clothes-on-elon-musk-pictures/
Reposted
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
January 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
Reposted
Trump Claims He Will Marry Maduro’s Wife Until Suitable Replacement Found https://theonion.com/trump-claims-he-will-marry-maduros-wife-until-suitable-replacement-found/
January 5, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Trump Claims He Will Marry Maduro’s Wife Until Suitable Replacement Found https://theonion.com/trump-claims-he-will-marry-maduros-wife-until-suitable-replacement-found/
Reposted
Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For https://theonion.com/man-spends-whole-day-dreading-fun-activity-he-signed-up-1819579571/
January 2, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For https://theonion.com/man-spends-whole-day-dreading-fun-activity-he-signed-up-1819579571/
Reposted
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
theonion.com/trump-still-...
theonion.com/trump-still-...
December 19, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
theonion.com/trump-still-...
theonion.com/trump-still-...
Reposted
Fun fact: there are 82 players on rosters right now that were born AFTER LeBron James made his NBA debut on Oct 29, 2003.
November 19, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Fun fact: there are 82 players on rosters right now that were born AFTER LeBron James made his NBA debut on Oct 29, 2003.
Reposted
Father Teaches Son How To Fly Into Rage Over Completely Inconsequential Bullshit https://theonion.com/father-teaches-son-how-to-fly-into-rage-over-completely-1819575391/
November 17, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Father Teaches Son How To Fly Into Rage Over Completely Inconsequential Bullshit https://theonion.com/father-teaches-son-how-to-fly-into-rage-over-completely-1819575391/
Reposted
Fun fact: Cooper Flagg has played 441 minutes for the Mavs this season, more than Anthony Davis has in his Mavs career (415).
November 16, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Fun fact: Cooper Flagg has played 441 minutes for the Mavs this season, more than Anthony Davis has in his Mavs career (415).
Reposted
Americans Demand New Form Of Media To Bridge Entertainment Gap While Looking From Laptop To Phone https://theonion.com/americans-demand-new-form-of-media-to-bridge-entertainm-1819576756/
November 13, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Americans Demand New Form Of Media To Bridge Entertainment Gap While Looking From Laptop To Phone https://theonion.com/americans-demand-new-form-of-media-to-bridge-entertainm-1819576756/
Reposted
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
Reposted
Luka is averaging 40 points, 11 rebounds, 9.2 assists, and 2 steals per game.
November 6, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Luka is averaging 40 points, 11 rebounds, 9.2 assists, and 2 steals per game.
Reposted
Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off
October 31, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off
Reposted
Victor Wembanyama has more blocks than 24 NBA teams.
October 25, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Victor Wembanyama has more blocks than 24 NBA teams.
Reposted
Report: Cost Of Raising Neglected Children Still Low As Ever https://theonion.com/report-cost-of-raising-neglected-children-still-low-as-1819577111/
October 20, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Report: Cost Of Raising Neglected Children Still Low As Ever https://theonion.com/report-cost-of-raising-neglected-children-still-low-as-1819577111/
Reposted
Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving
September 24, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving
Reposted
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
WASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained overwhelmingly strong among working-class American ped...
theonion.com
September 19, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles
Reposted
Report Finds Majority Of Fumbles Recovered Within First 48 Hours http://theonion.com/report-finds-majority-of-fumbles-recovered-within-first-48-hours/
September 16, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Report Finds Majority Of Fumbles Recovered Within First 48 Hours http://theonion.com/report-finds-majority-of-fumbles-recovered-within-first-48-hours/
Reposted
Pulitzer Feeling Increasingly Out Of Place In Washington Post Office
September 15, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Pulitzer Feeling Increasingly Out Of Place In Washington Post Office
Reposted
* Honest, open dialogue between differing perspectives is a core value worth preserving.
* The form of such dialogue, without the honesty or openness, has been co-opted by bad-faith actors as a cynical strategy to garner respectability.
* There are plenty of suckers eager to fall for the ruse.
* The form of such dialogue, without the honesty or openness, has been co-opted by bad-faith actors as a cynical strategy to garner respectability.
* There are plenty of suckers eager to fall for the ruse.
September 13, 2025 at 2:47 PM
* Honest, open dialogue between differing perspectives is a core value worth preserving.
* The form of such dialogue, without the honesty or openness, has been co-opted by bad-faith actors as a cynical strategy to garner respectability.
* There are plenty of suckers eager to fall for the ruse.
* The form of such dialogue, without the honesty or openness, has been co-opted by bad-faith actors as a cynical strategy to garner respectability.
* There are plenty of suckers eager to fall for the ruse.
Reposted
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
OREM, UT—As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University ad...
theonion.com
September 11, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus
Reposted
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
WASHINGTON—Claiming that 100% of users experienced dangerous side effects as a result of wearing the contraceptive device, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly paused an amorous moment Thursday to issue a...
theonion.com
September 8, 2025 at 3:00 PM
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
Reposted
ICE Opens New Supermax Detention Center For Most Hardened Toddlers
ICE Opens New Supermax Detention Center For Most Hardened Toddlers
CORNUDAS, TX—In response to growing issues with its population of juvenile detainees, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency reportedly announced on Tuesday the opening of a new supermax ...
theonion.com
September 6, 2025 at 6:02 PM
ICE Opens New Supermax Detention Center For Most Hardened Toddlers
Reposted
Mourners Unaware They Burying Knockoff Giorgio Armani
September 4, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Mourners Unaware They Burying Knockoff Giorgio Armani
Reposted
Area Dad Informs Busboy He’s Ready To Order https://theonion.com/area-dad-informs-busboy-he-s-ready-to-order-1819578117/
August 29, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Area Dad Informs Busboy He’s Ready To Order https://theonion.com/area-dad-informs-busboy-he-s-ready-to-order-1819578117/