Your mama’s so depressed her doctor told her to see the great clown Pagliacci!

Yeah? Well your mama’s so depressed, she IS Pagliacci!

if i got a rare or exotic disease i'd worry that my friends were only hanging out with me to try and catch my cool illness. so i don't think i even want one

(me as a child) “I fell down a well again”
(other people) shut up idiot no you didn’t”
(me as an adult actually falling down wells) Aughughgugh
(other people) “shut up idiot stop falling down wells”

Yeah so basically I enforce tax code upon the serfs and serve my Liege in battle, in return I am given rights to some of my Lord’s land

The Dastardly Parking Attendant: Sir I can’t let you bring that hotdog stand into the lot without a permit

Saw my neighbor putting leaves in a big paper bag today. Hey buddy, those things need the SUN to work 🙄🙄🦐💨

Finally left MySpace for this app, really feeling like I betrayed Tom