Xenochrony
@xenochrony.bsky.social
Mostly harmless. Toronto/Wendat territory. he/him (avi credit Charles Rue Woods)
Pinned
Xenochrony
@xenochrony.bsky.social
· Feb 20
Please...my times. They're very interesting.
"If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone." - Jack Handey
Which of these snowballs would you assign the name bouba, and which kiki?
November 13, 2025 at 10:06 PM
"If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone." - Jack Handey
I don't think I would phrase it exactly the same way, but I agree with the sports commentator who said that the struggling Maple Leafs' problem is that "they're give awaying the puck".
November 12, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I don't think I would phrase it exactly the same way, but I agree with the sports commentator who said that the struggling Maple Leafs' problem is that "they're give awaying the puck".
Reposted by Xenochrony
*going in to donate blood* just take it all
November 8, 2025 at 6:03 PM
*going in to donate blood* just take it all
Reposted by Xenochrony
Having fun is cool, but nothing beats sitting around
November 8, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Having fun is cool, but nothing beats sitting around
Speaking of music, there's a new album from Mavis Staples out today.
You heard me. What are you waiting for? Go! mavisstaples.bandcamp.com/album/sad-an...
You heard me. What are you waiting for? Go! mavisstaples.bandcamp.com/album/sad-an...
Sad And Beautiful World, by Mavis Staples
10 track album
mavisstaples.bandcamp.com
November 7, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Speaking of music, there's a new album from Mavis Staples out today.
You heard me. What are you waiting for? Go! mavisstaples.bandcamp.com/album/sad-an...
You heard me. What are you waiting for? Go! mavisstaples.bandcamp.com/album/sad-an...
My daughter wants to go to the AC/DC concert. She's about the same age I was when I went to see what I considered an over-the-hill nostalgia act just for a laugh. Turned out to be a good show. That was in 1988.
November 7, 2025 at 3:07 PM
My daughter wants to go to the AC/DC concert. She's about the same age I was when I went to see what I considered an over-the-hill nostalgia act just for a laugh. Turned out to be a good show. That was in 1988.
At 6am some jerk on my street was transferring his car keys from his work coat to his regular coat and triggered the car alarm, then spent a minute trying to silence the wrong car before realizing his mistake. We're all trying to find the guy who did this
November 7, 2025 at 1:32 PM
At 6am some jerk on my street was transferring his car keys from his work coat to his regular coat and triggered the car alarm, then spent a minute trying to silence the wrong car before realizing his mistake. We're all trying to find the guy who did this
Tonight The All-Bran Let Me Down
November 7, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Tonight The All-Bran Let Me Down
William Gibson doesn’t use alt text
November 6, 2025 at 7:23 AM
William Gibson doesn’t use alt text
Remember that the nearest exit may be behind you
November 6, 2025 at 7:08 AM
Remember that the nearest exit may be behind you
My drag name is Anita Beveridge
November 6, 2025 at 2:15 AM
My drag name is Anita Beveridge
Reposted by Xenochrony
caring is punk! Empathy will win!!!
November 5, 2025 at 5:12 AM
caring is punk! Empathy will win!!!
Calling the election almost immediately after the polls close sounding like Futurama: “The robot vote is open…and the robot vote is in.”
November 5, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Calling the election almost immediately after the polls close sounding like Futurama: “The robot vote is open…and the robot vote is in.”
Saw a "FUCK CARNEY" sticker and while I don't expect to see as many of those as we did for Trudeau, it's anyone's guess as to whether it was posted by a conservative or a progressive.
November 4, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Saw a "FUCK CARNEY" sticker and while I don't expect to see as many of those as we did for Trudeau, it's anyone's guess as to whether it was posted by a conservative or a progressive.
The guy that just kicked it, that was the clown who shot his buddy when they were out hunting, isn’t it? Or was that a different asshole?
November 4, 2025 at 12:58 PM
The guy that just kicked it, that was the clown who shot his buddy when they were out hunting, isn’t it? Or was that a different asshole?
Alternate universe where everything is the same except Drew Carey sings “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and Mariah Carey hosts The Price Is Right.
November 3, 2025 at 10:33 AM
Alternate universe where everything is the same except Drew Carey sings “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and Mariah Carey hosts The Price Is Right.
My daughter tried to use voice-to-text to reply when I asked her what she’d like for dinner, but when she dictated “Chinese, please!” Siri said “I’m sorry, based on your settings I can only speak English.”
November 3, 2025 at 5:10 AM
My daughter tried to use voice-to-text to reply when I asked her what she’d like for dinner, but when she dictated “Chinese, please!” Siri said “I’m sorry, based on your settings I can only speak English.”
My co-worker Pickleball Willy (a guy named Willy who likes to play pickleball) was wearing a hat that says “Just Doink It” so I had to ask and yeah, it’s a pickleball thing.
November 3, 2025 at 12:35 AM
My co-worker Pickleball Willy (a guy named Willy who likes to play pickleball) was wearing a hat that says “Just Doink It” so I had to ask and yeah, it’s a pickleball thing.
So, they finally jazzed up baseball…by creating the Torment Nexus.
November 2, 2025 at 3:57 AM
So, they finally jazzed up baseball…by creating the Torment Nexus.
That Kenny Loggins sure can pitch.
November 1, 2025 at 12:18 AM
That Kenny Loggins sure can pitch.
Food delivery apps bombarding me with notifications like a forlorn ex.
October 31, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Food delivery apps bombarding me with notifications like a forlorn ex.
Had to make two trips to drop off my kids this morning, pausing to change a flat tire in front of their high school (I'm sure I was getting roasted the whole time), and I still made it in time for my flu & COVID vax appointment. Rewarded myself with a burrito so spicy it was a cathartic experience.
October 31, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Had to make two trips to drop off my kids this morning, pausing to change a flat tire in front of their high school (I'm sure I was getting roasted the whole time), and I still made it in time for my flu & COVID vax appointment. Rewarded myself with a burrito so spicy it was a cathartic experience.
Reposted by Xenochrony
*taking a handful of candy from every trick-or-treater who comes to my door* tariffs
October 31, 2025 at 9:00 AM
*taking a handful of candy from every trick-or-treater who comes to my door* tariffs
Reposted by Xenochrony
The golden ratio in Blue Jays land.
(From a baseball / graphic designer / ebook dev friend: @obscurahead.bsky.social)
(From a baseball / graphic designer / ebook dev friend: @obscurahead.bsky.social)
October 29, 2025 at 10:52 PM
The golden ratio in Blue Jays land.
(From a baseball / graphic designer / ebook dev friend: @obscurahead.bsky.social)
(From a baseball / graphic designer / ebook dev friend: @obscurahead.bsky.social)