Xeb
@xebgoesrawr.bsky.social
Book dragon, tea lover, spoonie, hygge addict, chaos goblin, enigmatic sad potato.
Happy #2026 - I want this year to be the year of intentionality in all things. Do y’all have any intentions for this new year amidst the dumpster fire that is life right now?
January 6, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Happy #2026 - I want this year to be the year of intentionality in all things. Do y’all have any intentions for this new year amidst the dumpster fire that is life right now?
I hate #chronicpain - I hate how I am always hurting to some degree. All chronic pain is terrible but I’m so tired of having a jacked up spine. Spines are so overrated. My spine should be illegal it’s so messed up and hurts so constantly. Ughhh… 😖
January 6, 2026 at 9:38 PM
I hate #chronicpain - I hate how I am always hurting to some degree. All chronic pain is terrible but I’m so tired of having a jacked up spine. Spines are so overrated. My spine should be illegal it’s so messed up and hurts so constantly. Ughhh… 😖
Also do not recommend moving, divorcing, managing a mysterious unlabeled & chronic symptom, and doing anorexia recovery and trauma work all at the same time. It’s a lot, hence Supreme Overload being the theme of the year.
November 15, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Also do not recommend moving, divorcing, managing a mysterious unlabeled & chronic symptom, and doing anorexia recovery and trauma work all at the same time. It’s a lot, hence Supreme Overload being the theme of the year.
I can’t imagine how powerful I’d be if I didn’t have several severe chronic illnesses, anorexia, CPTSD, OCD, and a brain that hates all life.
I don’t think being Supreme Overlord is in my future but maybe being in Supreme Overload is. 🤔
I don’t think being Supreme Overlord is in my future but maybe being in Supreme Overload is. 🤔
November 15, 2025 at 12:24 PM
I can’t imagine how powerful I’d be if I didn’t have several severe chronic illnesses, anorexia, CPTSD, OCD, and a brain that hates all life.
I don’t think being Supreme Overlord is in my future but maybe being in Supreme Overload is. 🤔
I don’t think being Supreme Overlord is in my future but maybe being in Supreme Overload is. 🤔
Nothing like being under medical supervision 24/7 for a health problem that no one can identify. #chronicillness #insulinwho #anorexia
September 15, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Nothing like being under medical supervision 24/7 for a health problem that no one can identify. #chronicillness #insulinwho #anorexia
Why is battling #anorexia beyond difficult? I hate how insidious this illness has become after living with it for more than 20 years. I feel like I am fighting for my life almost every minute of the day, with having to eat, trying to hydrate, having to avoid compensatory behaviors… it’s exhausting.🥺
August 8, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Why is battling #anorexia beyond difficult? I hate how insidious this illness has become after living with it for more than 20 years. I feel like I am fighting for my life almost every minute of the day, with having to eat, trying to hydrate, having to avoid compensatory behaviors… it’s exhausting.🥺
I also was challenged by a friend to find a #queer community in my area… so I am thinking about joining a queer writing group. Downside being I’d have to change my work schedule to accommodate the hours. Upside, if I do change my hours, I could go to #silentbookclub again too…
August 4, 2025 at 12:51 PM
I also was challenged by a friend to find a #queer community in my area… so I am thinking about joining a queer writing group. Downside being I’d have to change my work schedule to accommodate the hours. Upside, if I do change my hours, I could go to #silentbookclub again too…
TFW a new medical provider looks at you and comments on your “extensive medical history.” Sorry I’m falling apart before I turn 40. This wasn’t my choice. #chronicillness #hEDS #HaT #t2d #chronicpain
August 4, 2025 at 12:48 PM
TFW a new medical provider looks at you and comments on your “extensive medical history.” Sorry I’m falling apart before I turn 40. This wasn’t my choice. #chronicillness #hEDS #HaT #t2d #chronicpain
Warmies are one of the best inventions for #chronicpain. I have two and they have been a lifesaver when I didn’t have access to a heating pad. 🩵
August 2, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Warmies are one of the best inventions for #chronicpain. I have two and they have been a lifesaver when I didn’t have access to a heating pad. 🩵
2025 is bullshit for many reasons, one of which being how futile it feels for me to try to focus on maintaining my eating disorder/not relapsing yet again, when the entire world is on fire and evil is becoming normalized. Just discharged from residential too soon (thanks insurance) and I am tired.
August 2, 2025 at 11:40 AM
2025 is bullshit for many reasons, one of which being how futile it feels for me to try to focus on maintaining my eating disorder/not relapsing yet again, when the entire world is on fire and evil is becoming normalized. Just discharged from residential too soon (thanks insurance) and I am tired.
Also - can we just note what an awful combination anorexia + HaT (MCAS) are? They combine so “well” — I eat less (thanks ED), feel better when I don’t eat (thanks HaT), lose weight, then that reinforces the cycle (thanks ED + HaT). It’s vicious and self-perpetuating and I hate it. #chronicillness
May 6, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Also - can we just note what an awful combination anorexia + HaT (MCAS) are? They combine so “well” — I eat less (thanks ED), feel better when I don’t eat (thanks HaT), lose weight, then that reinforces the cycle (thanks ED + HaT). It’s vicious and self-perpetuating and I hate it. #chronicillness
Finally made it up to 4.5mg LDN a month or so ago. #Chronicpain is finally decreasing, but I’ve also lost weight, so I’m not sure what’s helping the most. Everything still hurts but at closer to a 4-6 out of 10, not a 7 or 8/10 daily like it was before.
May 6, 2025 at 11:22 AM
Finally made it up to 4.5mg LDN a month or so ago. #Chronicpain is finally decreasing, but I’ve also lost weight, so I’m not sure what’s helping the most. Everything still hurts but at closer to a 4-6 out of 10, not a 7 or 8/10 daily like it was before.
Yeah so starting LDN at 1.5mg for #chronicpain was not smart. Took one dose. Had a massive BP drop and almost passed out. Will be starting at a much lower dosage (0.5mg) hopefully this weekend.
Just started low dose naltrexone (LDN) today for chronic pain caused by HaT and hEDS. Starting at 1.5mg and titrating up to 4.5mg over several days. I’m panicking right now. Joys of being an emetophobe starting any new med since all of them basically have nausea as a potential side effect.
March 4, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Yeah so starting LDN at 1.5mg for #chronicpain was not smart. Took one dose. Had a massive BP drop and almost passed out. Will be starting at a much lower dosage (0.5mg) hopefully this weekend.
I feel like I’m a walking bruise right now. My shoulder joints and ACJ are raging almost 24/7. Knees. Ankles. Hips. Back. Neck. I hate #chronicpain so much. I just want it to stop.
March 4, 2025 at 12:29 PM
I feel like I’m a walking bruise right now. My shoulder joints and ACJ are raging almost 24/7. Knees. Ankles. Hips. Back. Neck. I hate #chronicpain so much. I just want it to stop.
I hate eating disorders. I’ve relapsed a bit and am in care of several professionals but I just hate how this goes. I hate that it’s been my reality for 20 years. I hate all of this. There’s just too much going on all at once.
February 23, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I hate eating disorders. I’ve relapsed a bit and am in care of several professionals but I just hate how this goes. I hate that it’s been my reality for 20 years. I hate all of this. There’s just too much going on all at once.
Just started low dose naltrexone (LDN) today for chronic pain caused by HaT and hEDS. Starting at 1.5mg and titrating up to 4.5mg over several days. I’m panicking right now. Joys of being an emetophobe starting any new med since all of them basically have nausea as a potential side effect.
February 22, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Just started low dose naltrexone (LDN) today for chronic pain caused by HaT and hEDS. Starting at 1.5mg and titrating up to 4.5mg over several days. I’m panicking right now. Joys of being an emetophobe starting any new med since all of them basically have nausea as a potential side effect.
Reposted by Xeb
See now I’m starting to think that these people want a machine to summarize things for them because when a human does it, the human uses words like “no” and “that would hurt people” and “that’s illegal.”
February 4, 2025 at 2:59 AM
See now I’m starting to think that these people want a machine to summarize things for them because when a human does it, the human uses words like “no” and “that would hurt people” and “that’s illegal.”
Yep, my test came back positive. I have hereditary alpha-tryptasemia and my main consolation is that it’s a fancy sounding name that makes me sound smart when I say it out loud (okay but probably not really… just let me live in my delusion, pls).
I’m going to be tested for hereditary alpha-tryptasemia. It affects 5-6% of the population… yet I haven’t heard of it until today?? but it describes me to a T. I’m also still being evaluated for #MCAS since my labwork numbers indicated that was still a possibility. Chronic illness is great. 🙄
February 3, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Yep, my test came back positive. I have hereditary alpha-tryptasemia and my main consolation is that it’s a fancy sounding name that makes me sound smart when I say it out loud (okay but probably not really… just let me live in my delusion, pls).
I don’t like this resurfacing of anorexia on top of everything else I have going on. 😒 “Severe & enduring” is not a label I particularly like, but it does fit as I’ve struggled with eating disordered thoughts and/or behaviors for 21 years now. SHIT that’s a long time… 😟😞
January 28, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I don’t like this resurfacing of anorexia on top of everything else I have going on. 😒 “Severe & enduring” is not a label I particularly like, but it does fit as I’ve struggled with eating disordered thoughts and/or behaviors for 21 years now. SHIT that’s a long time… 😟😞
I woke up in so much pain this morning. Chronic pain, go get fucked. Spine on fire, hips screaming at me, all support muscles around my spine and SIJ were tight and angry. Guess I overdid the (light) exercise yesterday. 🙄 Love how I still get lectured about working out to lose weight. Pain sucks.
January 25, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I woke up in so much pain this morning. Chronic pain, go get fucked. Spine on fire, hips screaming at me, all support muscles around my spine and SIJ were tight and angry. Guess I overdid the (light) exercise yesterday. 🙄 Love how I still get lectured about working out to lose weight. Pain sucks.
So far in 2025 I’ve collected:
1) one recommendation for surgery
2) one “this may need surgery”
3) one new diagnosis.
And then today. 🙄
This year is sure shaping up to be *something else.*
1) one recommendation for surgery
2) one “this may need surgery”
3) one new diagnosis.
And then today. 🙄
This year is sure shaping up to be *something else.*
January 20, 2025 at 11:33 PM
So far in 2025 I’ve collected:
1) one recommendation for surgery
2) one “this may need surgery”
3) one new diagnosis.
And then today. 🙄
This year is sure shaping up to be *something else.*
1) one recommendation for surgery
2) one “this may need surgery”
3) one new diagnosis.
And then today. 🙄
This year is sure shaping up to be *something else.*
Okay I’m sure there is… but is there anything worse than having chronic illnesses & chronic pain and then an acute illness that results in less sleep which is a huge trigger for flaring chronic illnesses/pain? I am strugglebussin’ this morning! 😟😒
December 21, 2024 at 12:56 PM
Okay I’m sure there is… but is there anything worse than having chronic illnesses & chronic pain and then an acute illness that results in less sleep which is a huge trigger for flaring chronic illnesses/pain? I am strugglebussin’ this morning! 😟😒
Anyone else not feeling festive this holiday season?
I just want to curl up in bed and not move for a long time. Depression is bad & so is chronic pain & I’m so frustrated by existence right now.
I just want to curl up in bed and not move for a long time. Depression is bad & so is chronic pain & I’m so frustrated by existence right now.
December 19, 2024 at 2:06 PM
Anyone else not feeling festive this holiday season?
I just want to curl up in bed and not move for a long time. Depression is bad & so is chronic pain & I’m so frustrated by existence right now.
I just want to curl up in bed and not move for a long time. Depression is bad & so is chronic pain & I’m so frustrated by existence right now.
So maybe we need to eliminate food deserts & maybe make it cheaper to eat whole foods than to eat ultra processed foods. Also “simple and accessible” my a$$. For people who have the time, money, & energy to prepare healthy meals maybe. I have lots of thoughts & feelings about this. 🙃
Scientists Reveal Simple and Accessible Way To Alleviate Chronic Pain
#Science 🧪
#Science 🧪
Scientists Reveal Simple and Accessible Way To Alleviate Chronic Pain
A nutritious diet can reduce chronic pain severity, particularly in women, offering an accessible and effective way to manage the condition regardless of body weight. Chronic pain is a persistent and...
scitechdaily.com
December 19, 2024 at 11:29 AM
So maybe we need to eliminate food deserts & maybe make it cheaper to eat whole foods than to eat ultra processed foods. Also “simple and accessible” my a$$. For people who have the time, money, & energy to prepare healthy meals maybe. I have lots of thoughts & feelings about this. 🙃
I am an internalizer. For internalizers, pain worsens depression & heightens passive suicidality & increases self-harm ideation. If you’re an externalizer, I can absolutely see how it led to the path Luigi took.
i think the kneejerk thing making a lot of normies upset about luigi is that they don't understand how nihilistic it is to have pain and other suffering every single day -- it rewires you emotionally. we all need to acknowledge together that it can make people suicidal at the very least.
December 12, 2024 at 5:50 PM
I am an internalizer. For internalizers, pain worsens depression & heightens passive suicidality & increases self-harm ideation. If you’re an externalizer, I can absolutely see how it led to the path Luigi took.