Dave Matthews (aka WiltonSpinach)
@wiltonspinach.bsky.social
Dave Matthews - quizzing, TV, comedy, food, probably too much politics, LGBT+, hoping this is better than X. Dad jokes are the author's own. He/him.
Blåhaj!
November 15, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Blåhaj!
Has to be one of these two surely.
November 7, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Has to be one of these two surely.
Yes, yes, everyone's boring on about the Sam Mendes Beatles films, but Piggy: the biopic is what we all want to see.
November 5, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Yes, yes, everyone's boring on about the Sam Mendes Beatles films, but Piggy: the biopic is what we all want to see.
I see your Mum is advertising her services in train stations in London
November 4, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I see your Mum is advertising her services in train stations in London
It has arrived!
October 23, 2025 at 2:27 PM
It has arrived!
*Runs into the room breathlessly....*
THE CANNED OLD DUKE OF YORK!
THE CANNED OLD DUKE OF YORK!
October 17, 2025 at 6:33 PM
*Runs into the room breathlessly....*
THE CANNED OLD DUKE OF YORK!
THE CANNED OLD DUKE OF YORK!
Today's idle thought...if the Spice Girls had formed today, would Geri be Pumpkin Spice rather than Ginger Spice?
October 17, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Today's idle thought...if the Spice Girls had formed today, would Geri be Pumpkin Spice rather than Ginger Spice?
The watchdog added that he wants to be told he's a good boy, go for long walks, and receive regular treats.
October 15, 2025 at 10:42 AM
The watchdog added that he wants to be told he's a good boy, go for long walks, and receive regular treats.
This feels like the starting point for a Channel 5 documentary about a boy who turned orange from eating too many mini cheddars
October 13, 2025 at 4:35 PM
This feels like the starting point for a Channel 5 documentary about a boy who turned orange from eating too many mini cheddars
Oh do fuck off.
Sorry, where are my manners.
Oh do fuck off your Majesty.
Sorry, where are my manners.
Oh do fuck off your Majesty.
October 11, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Oh do fuck off.
Sorry, where are my manners.
Oh do fuck off your Majesty.
Sorry, where are my manners.
Oh do fuck off your Majesty.
Not all heroes wear capes
October 8, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Not all heroes wear capes
Too soon?
October 6, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Too soon?
Poor guy's been stood up :(
October 4, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Poor guy's been stood up :(
Trebuchet!
October 3, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Trebuchet!
Yes, I went to Carcassone, and all I got were these slightly oversized meeples (€1 each - a great souvenir)
September 29, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Yes, I went to Carcassone, and all I got were these slightly oversized meeples (€1 each - a great souvenir)
Where the X am I?
September 29, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Where the X am I?
Interesting question: how monumentally fucked would the US Govermment be if Microsoft said 'fine' and just wiped all data and disabled their software, apps, operating systems?
September 28, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Interesting question: how monumentally fucked would the US Govermment be if Microsoft said 'fine' and just wiped all data and disabled their software, apps, operating systems?
I don't want to be that guy but £2 for an extra shot can absolutely get in the fucking sea.
September 27, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I don't want to be that guy but £2 for an extra shot can absolutely get in the fucking sea.
Oh, go on then. I'll do it. But only if it's called Pie Another Day.
September 24, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Oh, go on then. I'll do it. But only if it's called Pie Another Day.
Je suis Usain Bolt
September 15, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Je suis Usain Bolt
Can't believe they didn't go with
How Do You Solve A Problem Like No Key There?
How Do You Solve A Problem Like No Key There?
September 13, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Can't believe they didn't go with
How Do You Solve A Problem Like No Key There?
How Do You Solve A Problem Like No Key There?
At least there's been some good news today
September 5, 2025 at 5:19 PM
At least there's been some good news today
Made this overnight and turned out perfectly ❤️
September 1, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Made this overnight and turned out perfectly ❤️
Every time this email comes through, I think it's Bradley Walsh asking for feedback on his jokes.
August 30, 2025 at 12:18 PM
Every time this email comes through, I think it's Bradley Walsh asking for feedback on his jokes.
