The White House 🍊
@whitehouse.wtf
💩🇺🇸 White House parody account of President Donald J. Trump, 47th edition. Bigger, better, more presidential than ever. Many people are saying it’s the best White House. #satire #comedy #politics #resist #murica #FDT
📍 Washington, DC
📍 Washington, DC
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The White House 🍊
@whitehouse.wtf
· Nov 23
Today, we are proud to announce two major upgrades coming to the White House in January. First, a state-of-the-art Coca-Cola machine—because we all know it’s the best. And second, a dedicated fry kitchen for McDonald’s French fries—truly the finest. We’re making the White House great again, folks.
I BROKE UP WITH ELON. It’s true. People are saying it. He BEGGED me to stay said I was his greatest inspiration (which I am). But I need WINNERS, not rocket FAILURES!! Too much drama, too much Bitcoin, not enough LOYALTY!!! I made him popular, folks. 🇺🇸💔
June 5, 2025 at 10:07 PM
I BROKE UP WITH ELON. It’s true. People are saying it. He BEGGED me to stay said I was his greatest inspiration (which I am). But I need WINNERS, not rocket FAILURES!! Too much drama, too much Bitcoin, not enough LOYALTY!!! I made him popular, folks. 🇺🇸💔
Elon Musk is doing a TERRIFIC job, absolutely brilliant! The new Tesla gear shifter—just incredible, nobody’s seen anything like it before. A total game-changer! Love what he’s doing, making cars great again!
February 28, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Elon Musk is doing a TERRIFIC job, absolutely brilliant! The new Tesla gear shifter—just incredible, nobody’s seen anything like it before. A total game-changer! Love what he’s doing, making cars great again!
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
February 15, 2025 at 5:51 PM
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
President Musk is doing a tremendous job, just tremendous! I’m there, making everything even better. Some say the best team ever. Believe me!
Today, Musk flexed his muscle as the new President, with his second in command, Trump was there too.
February 12, 2025 at 4:19 AM
President Musk is doing a tremendous job, just tremendous! I’m there, making everything even better. Some say the best team ever. Believe me!
SUPER BOWL! Biggest crowd EVER—here for ME, not the game! People saying it’s the most watched because I’m watching! Everyone LOVES me—players, coaches, even the refs (some good ones, some not so good). America is winning again, folks! #superbowl #eagleschiefs
February 9, 2025 at 11:34 PM
SUPER BOWL! Biggest crowd EVER—here for ME, not the game! People saying it’s the most watched because I’m watching! Everyone LOVES me—players, coaches, even the refs (some good ones, some not so good). America is winning again, folks! #superbowl #eagleschiefs
The culture war, folks—it’s a total scam. I use it to keep you angry, poor, and scrolling all day long.
February 9, 2025 at 4:30 PM
The culture war, folks—it’s a total scam. I use it to keep you angry, poor, and scrolling all day long.
Folks, they say I look old so old! But let me tell you, nobody looks better than me at nearly 100 years old. But the fake news won’t tell you that.
Trump looks old as shit. I don't think he is going to make it through 4 years.
February 7, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Folks, they say I look old so old! But let me tell you, nobody looks better than me at nearly 100 years old. But the fake news won’t tell you that.
Fake news says I don’t care about the little guy. WRONG! I care about little guys who invest in my buildings, donate to my PACs, and let me use their jets. Those little guys? THE BEST. The rest of you? Meh.
February 6, 2025 at 6:04 AM
Fake news says I don’t care about the little guy. WRONG! I care about little guys who invest in my buildings, donate to my PACs, and let me use their jets. Those little guys? THE BEST. The rest of you? Meh.
Remember when I promised to help the middle class? LOL. Just kidding. Billionaires are nicer, have better houses, and don’t complain as much. Who would YOU rather hang out with???
February 6, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Remember when I promised to help the middle class? LOL. Just kidding. Billionaires are nicer, have better houses, and don’t complain as much. Who would YOU rather hang out with???
Wow, incredible idea—just incredible! Mount Rushmore, already great, but imagine it with TRUMP up there. The biggest, most beautiful addition EVER. Washington, Lincoln—fantastic guys, but let’s be honest, I did things they never dreamed of. Economy? BOOMING. Borders? STRONG. America? WINNING.
Florida congresswoman files legislation to carve Trump’s face on Mount Rushmore • South Dakota Searchlight
Florida Republican U.S. Rep. Anna Paulina Luna has filed legislation that would direct the secretary of the Interior to carve the figure of President Donald Trump on Mount Rushmore National Memorial i...
southdakotasearchlight.com
January 29, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Wow, incredible idea—just incredible! Mount Rushmore, already great, but imagine it with TRUMP up there. The biggest, most beautiful addition EVER. Washington, Lincoln—fantastic guys, but let’s be honest, I did things they never dreamed of. Economy? BOOMING. Borders? STRONG. America? WINNING.
My new billionaire friends—like Daddy Musk, great guy, by the way—they get me. They respect me. They finally see me for the incredible success I am, not like the fake news media. The poors? They had their chance. Now it’s time for winners, like me, to shine.
Trump secured his second victory, won over the support of the tech bros and billionaire class, and now he’s leaving his base behind. He couldn’t care less about his voters, and they were just a stepping stone for his success. www.12news.com/article/news...
Trump says inflation isn't his No. 1 issue. So what will happen to consumer prices?
His focus has been clamping down on immigration, which he described as his “No. 1 issue” shortly after taking the oath of office.
www.12news.com
January 28, 2025 at 1:32 AM
My new billionaire friends—like Daddy Musk, great guy, by the way—they get me. They respect me. They finally see me for the incredible success I am, not like the fake news media. The poors? They had their chance. Now it’s time for winners, like me, to shine.
Totally agree! Breakfast is overrated. Who needs eggs and coffee when you can start the day with a little ‘white house special’?
January 27, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Totally agree! Breakfast is overrated. Who needs eggs and coffee when you can start the day with a little ‘white house special’?
Isn’t it great? We are making America again again, folks! The price of success! Those eggs must be worth their weight in gold—just like my billionaire friends who make them. Tremendous!
I didn't pay it, but $13.49 for store brand eggs here.
January 27, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Isn’t it great? We are making America again again, folks! The price of success! Those eggs must be worth their weight in gold—just like my billionaire friends who make them. Tremendous!
Let me tell you, folks, my billionaire friends in the egg business are the best. Oleg Bakhmatyuk of Avangardco and Joseph Grendys of Koch Foods—true winners. They’re making billions with eggs. Prices are high because eggs are tremendous. Billionaires know how to win, just like me!
January 27, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Let me tell you, folks, my billionaire friends in the egg business are the best. Oleg Bakhmatyuk of Avangardco and Joseph Grendys of Koch Foods—true winners. They’re making billions with eggs. Prices are high because eggs are tremendous. Billionaires know how to win, just like me!
If I fell, folks, it’d be the greatest fall of all time—people would talk about it forever. Nobody falls better than me, believe me!
January 25, 2025 at 11:38 PM
If I fell, folks, it’d be the greatest fall of all time—people would talk about it forever. Nobody falls better than me, believe me!
They’re losing their jobs, folks, and they’ll blame Biden. And you know what? I’ll tell them it’s his fault, and that they shouldn’t have been hired anyway—and they’ll believe me. Trust me!
As we continue on the FAFO Tour, folks that voted for trump now losing their federal government jobs stunned as they thought they were protected by their leader.
January 25, 2025 at 11:34 PM
They’re losing their jobs, folks, and they’ll blame Biden. And you know what? I’ll tell them it’s his fault, and that they shouldn’t have been hired anyway—and they’ll believe me. Trust me!
Totally agree, folks! Cancel the windmills—they’re a disaster, an absolute disaster. They kill birds, they ruin views, and frankly, they’re jealous of my hair because they could never achieve this level of wind resistance. And solar? Overrated! The sun works for me; I don’t work for the sun.
January 24, 2025 at 6:11 AM
Totally agree, folks! Cancel the windmills—they’re a disaster, an absolute disaster. They kill birds, they ruin views, and frankly, they’re jealous of my hair because they could never achieve this level of wind resistance. And solar? Overrated! The sun works for me; I don’t work for the sun.
Fake news, folks! Everyone knows I make tremendous executive orders—big, strong, and, frankly, the most masculine orders you’ve ever seen. If all Americans are female now, it’s only because they wanted to date me. Nobody respects biology more than me; I’ve got the best biology.
Trump makes every American a girl with his idiotic “Executive” Order
Because in actual biology
All embryos initially develop along 'female' lines until later in development."
So, according to this definition, all Americans are female.
Because in actual biology
All embryos initially develop along 'female' lines until later in development."
So, according to this definition, all Americans are female.
January 24, 2025 at 6:07 AM
Fake news, folks! Everyone knows I make tremendous executive orders—big, strong, and, frankly, the most masculine orders you’ve ever seen. If all Americans are female now, it’s only because they wanted to date me. Nobody respects biology more than me; I’ve got the best biology.
Great question, tremendous question. I’m not going to do anything about it, but ask it every single day because, frankly, I like the question. It’s a fantastic question, god.
I’m going to ask about grocery and gas prices everyday and so should you.
January 22, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Great question, tremendous question. I’m not going to do anything about it, but ask it every single day because, frankly, I like the question. It’s a fantastic question, god.
Did this one for the crypto bros—they eat this stuff up. Guy sold tons of drugs on that website, but the Democrats? Too clueless to even use it as a talking point.
January 22, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Did this one for the crypto bros—they eat this stuff up. Guy sold tons of drugs on that website, but the Democrats? Too clueless to even use it as a talking point.
Look, folks, Bluesky is just another failing platform where the radical left LOSERS gathers. Some people are saying it’s a breeding ground for Antifa activities. We’re keeping a close eye on it, believe me. As for labeling it, we’ll see what happens.
How long before the Trump administration labels BlueSky a “radical antifa platform?”
a) one month
b) three months
c) a year
d) never
a) one month
b) three months
c) a year
d) never
January 22, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Look, folks, Bluesky is just another failing platform where the radical left LOSERS gathers. Some people are saying it’s a breeding ground for Antifa activities. We’re keeping a close eye on it, believe me. As for labeling it, we’ll see what happens.
Wrong, folks, so wrong. First of all, I have the best words, believe me. 3 syllables? I’ve got them, no problem. Secondly, low IQ? Fake news. I’m a genius—ask anyone. As for being almost 100, I’m in perfect health, some say better than ever. Walking Dead? More like running great, okay? Sad attempt!
January 22, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Wrong, folks, so wrong. First of all, I have the best words, believe me. 3 syllables? I’ve got them, no problem. Secondly, low IQ? Fake news. I’m a genius—ask anyone. As for being almost 100, I’m in perfect health, some say better than ever. Walking Dead? More like running great, okay? Sad attempt!
Listen, folks, I’ve been focusing on the real battles—winning the culture war and making America the leader in crypto innovation. Wars like Ukraine? We’ll get to it, but first, we’re making sure the woke mob doesn’t take over. Priorities, okay? The BEST priorities!
Did I miss the news reports that the war against Ukraine is over? Because Trump promised dozens of times that he would end it during the first 24 hours of his term. Tick tock, mf...
January 22, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Listen, folks, I’ve been focusing on the real battles—winning the culture war and making America the leader in crypto innovation. Wars like Ukraine? We’ll get to it, but first, we’re making sure the woke mob doesn’t take over. Priorities, okay? The BEST priorities!
Another fake news story, folks. I never clogged any toilets—believe me. This is just the failing media trying to smear me. Sad!
Trump clogs the toilet and blames the toilet which should tell us how much he understands water flow.
January 22, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Another fake news story, folks. I never clogged any toilets—believe me. This is just the failing media trying to smear me. Sad!
Look, meme coins are HUGE, AI is the future, but affordable medication? Not as flashy, okay? In Trump world, we go for the big, shiny distractions. Priorities, folks. The BEST priorities!
So meme coins and AI are more important than affordable medication in Trump world.
January 22, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Look, meme coins are HUGE, AI is the future, but affordable medication? Not as flashy, okay? In Trump world, we go for the big, shiny distractions. Priorities, folks. The BEST priorities!