All the Pet Semetary movies:

*people bury an animal in the pet Semetary*
*pet comes back fucked up*

Everyone in the movie: “should we…put a guy in there?”

Sorry could you repeat that? I was just being low-key awed by the wonder of existence, and missed what you said.

All of my kids animal books are just complete chaos: “Here’s a horse, and a cat, and here’s a boxelder bug, and this is a stegosaurus, and finally, the Gardiner's Seychelles Frog. And that’s it, the five animals.”

jery get ipad

Joey Chestnut eating hot dogs as a kid

when movies get deleted for tax reasons, they should legally become public domain. people should be allowed to upload it anywhere they want. that's the tradeoff you make if you wanna delete your own movie released this year for a few extra bucks, and i think it's fair

Gently folding over the bag of chips: “this will stop me.”

Reconnecting with my Twitter mutuals

Why did you join Bluesky?

How am I supposed to follow all the same people here that I followed on Twitter if no one has given John Hinckley Jr a code yet? What’s a guy gotta do to make friends in this world.