Pete Warner
@warpentree.bsky.social
Probably dehydrated. Seldom serious, unless about programming. Seneschal for my cat lords.
Braverman: i feel like I've come home.
Reform: why don't you go home?
Reform: why don't you go home?
January 26, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Braverman: i feel like I've come home.
Reform: why don't you go home?
Reform: why don't you go home?
The process of registering for an Apple account on an Android phone, however, ranks among the worst tech experiences I've had since i had to endure owning an iPhone.
Took out an AppleTV sub just to watch #pluribus and I'll tell you now, if Vince Gilligan made a show about workers in a Tupperware factory backed by avant garde Jazz and starring Jedward, it would somehow be the greatest show you've ever seen.
January 13, 2026 at 11:04 PM
The process of registering for an Apple account on an Android phone, however, ranks among the worst tech experiences I've had since i had to endure owning an iPhone.
Took out an AppleTV sub just to watch #pluribus and I'll tell you now, if Vince Gilligan made a show about workers in a Tupperware factory backed by avant garde Jazz and starring Jedward, it would somehow be the greatest show you've ever seen.
January 13, 2026 at 10:58 PM
Took out an AppleTV sub just to watch #pluribus and I'll tell you now, if Vince Gilligan made a show about workers in a Tupperware factory backed by avant garde Jazz and starring Jedward, it would somehow be the greatest show you've ever seen.
Apparently you can learn a lot about a man from the way he wraps his presents but I don't ag...
LETS PUT PUPPIES IN A BLENDER FOR SATAN
LETS PUT PUPPIES IN A BLENDER FOR SATAN
December 7, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Apparently you can learn a lot about a man from the way he wraps his presents but I don't ag...
LETS PUT PUPPIES IN A BLENDER FOR SATAN
LETS PUT PUPPIES IN A BLENDER FOR SATAN
#worldcupdraw Welcome to the Village People World Cup draw. Now, Cowboy can't go in the same pot as Native American, so he pairs up with Leather Daddy...
December 5, 2025 at 7:21 PM
#worldcupdraw Welcome to the Village People World Cup draw. Now, Cowboy can't go in the same pot as Native American, so he pairs up with Leather Daddy...
There are still only two nogs: Egg Nog and Noggin the Nog.
*liz truss voice" This. Is. A. Disgrace.
*liz truss voice" This. Is. A. Disgrace.
December 1, 2025 at 11:07 AM
There are still only two nogs: Egg Nog and Noggin the Nog.
*liz truss voice" This. Is. A. Disgrace.
*liz truss voice" This. Is. A. Disgrace.
"Die Hard" is german for "The Hard"
November 30, 2025 at 11:12 AM
"Die Hard" is german for "The Hard"
Pugh, pugh, Barney Mcgrew, Cuffbert, Pugh, Dibble, Pugh, Grub, Pugh, Pugh.... oh god, too many Pugh, WHY IS EVERYONE PUGH
PUUUUUGGGGGHH
*becomes Pugh*
PUUUUUGGGGGHH
*becomes Pugh*
November 23, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Pugh, pugh, Barney Mcgrew, Cuffbert, Pugh, Dibble, Pugh, Grub, Pugh, Pugh.... oh god, too many Pugh, WHY IS EVERYONE PUGH
PUUUUUGGGGGHH
*becomes Pugh*
PUUUUUGGGGGHH
*becomes Pugh*
*Martin Chuzzlewit as 007*
You expect me to undergo a narrative transformation of character?
No, Mr Chuzzlewit... I expect you to die.
You expect me to undergo a narrative transformation of character?
No, Mr Chuzzlewit... I expect you to die.
November 20, 2025 at 11:00 PM
*Martin Chuzzlewit as 007*
You expect me to undergo a narrative transformation of character?
No, Mr Chuzzlewit... I expect you to die.
You expect me to undergo a narrative transformation of character?
No, Mr Chuzzlewit... I expect you to die.
*Martin Chuzzlewit as 007*
The name's Chuzzlewit.
Martin Chuzzlewit.
The name's Chuzzlewit.
Martin Chuzzlewit.
November 20, 2025 at 10:57 PM
*Martin Chuzzlewit as 007*
The name's Chuzzlewit.
Martin Chuzzlewit.
The name's Chuzzlewit.
Martin Chuzzlewit.
Brilliant.
![@tomb_urges - Whenever I see someone on one of these, I like like to imagine they started out with a much larger vehicle and their journey has been riddled with mishaps. [pic of guy on a unicycle type thing]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lxm3v43kiuo4gdun45a4zivh/bafkreialamhqwi5ukvc5s2hvbpuofiltysnogvfr6kqcy7cj4ye6alqkau@jpeg)
November 18, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Brilliant.
Oh Scotland, you daft, glorious bastards! #scoden #worldcupqualifiers
November 18, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Oh Scotland, you daft, glorious bastards! #scoden #worldcupqualifiers
We don't talk enough about why cats and dogs don't need haircuts.
November 18, 2025 at 9:24 PM
We don't talk enough about why cats and dogs don't need haircuts.
(At an old school interview)
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: In mirrors. We'll still see ourselves in mirrors five years from now. And windows, and some puddles.
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: In mirrors. We'll still see ourselves in mirrors five years from now. And windows, and some puddles.
November 16, 2025 at 6:08 PM
(At an old school interview)
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: In mirrors. We'll still see ourselves in mirrors five years from now. And windows, and some puddles.
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: In mirrors. We'll still see ourselves in mirrors five years from now. And windows, and some puddles.
Reposted by Pete Warner
The Wedding Present are basically The Smiths for people who have had sex (complimentary)
September 28, 2025 at 7:16 PM
The Wedding Present are basically The Smiths for people who have had sex (complimentary)
Lola knows how to Sunday.
November 9, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Lola knows how to Sunday.
Reposted by Pete Warner
[first day as car salesman]
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
September 20, 2023 at 3:20 AM
[first day as car salesman]
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
Fine. I'll give you "space cowboy". But I have never been - and never will be - "the gangster of love" thank you very much.
November 3, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Fine. I'll give you "space cowboy". But I have never been - and never will be - "the gangster of love" thank you very much.
Seems its impossible to get Bluesky to stop showing me posts about Baseball.
November 2, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Seems its impossible to get Bluesky to stop showing me posts about Baseball.
A(n alleged) sex offender should expect to be forced to not wear their special hat with the nice feathers.
October 21, 2025 at 6:06 PM
A(n alleged) sex offender should expect to be forced to not wear their special hat with the nice feathers.
The Sumo's in London are on a part exchange program and we've sent a troupe of Morris dancers to Japan.
October 19, 2025 at 3:28 PM
The Sumo's in London are on a part exchange program and we've sent a troupe of Morris dancers to Japan.
People stopped chewing gum and dog shit stopped being white and there's a link there I bet.
October 14, 2025 at 6:54 PM
People stopped chewing gum and dog shit stopped being white and there's a link there I bet.
Reposted by Pete Warner
Gen Z are the most honest generation yet.
They're not gonna lie.
They're not gonna lie.
May 3, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Gen Z are the most honest generation yet.
They're not gonna lie.
They're not gonna lie.
Reposted by Pete Warner
(Opening question in "Guess Who?")
Me: Is it Alfred?
Opponent: No.
Me: Then I'm out of ideas.
Me: Is it Alfred?
Opponent: No.
Me: Then I'm out of ideas.
March 19, 2025 at 12:30 PM
(Opening question in "Guess Who?")
Me: Is it Alfred?
Opponent: No.
Me: Then I'm out of ideas.
Me: Is it Alfred?
Opponent: No.
Me: Then I'm out of ideas.