My knowledge is vast and superior
And none of my motives ulterior
My name, it is Bane
I've an exquisite brain
Doubt my wisdom? I'll bite your posterior!

I'm easy*

*grow up

'Tis the season

My butler, Scott, is really slow
When serving me my treats
Cognac, foie gras, and Bordeaux
Plus all the fancy meats

I love to live a life of ease
Just food and drink and rest
So hurry Scott, I beg* you, please
As I deserve the best

*not actually begging - more of a demand, really

The enemy of my enemy may be useful, nothing more.

*chef's kiss*

I've no taste for violence
I do not like guns
I much prefer silence
Especially with puns

For puns are inane
They are useless and dour
And feel they're my bane
Just like that chihuahua

Follow your muse and do what brings you joy.

If at any time you feel the urge to write, then write.

They will forever bear his taint

Happiest of birthdays!
To the lovely Zaddy Socks
I hope that you have lots of fun
And this day truly rocks

I hope that life's fantastic
Every moment you're awake
And I hope that Zaddy gets his fill
Of tasty birthday cake

Come to the kitchen
It's soup-supping time
The folks here that pitch in
Once went fighting crime

But now they are here
And you're part of their group
So be of good cheer
As you sit supping soup 🍲

"This is my true suspicion
In the dark mornings of Fall
An unsettling apparition
Tippy-taps across the hall

Some may say it's a chihuahua
Who's all twirly, small and cute
But I fear an evil power
We must exorcise the brute!"

He's got the face right
But his walk is a little too fast

I really really liked it