Vlad the Impala
@vlad-the-impala.bsky.social
🇺🇲🇬🇧 Nevadan idiot
I was vlad.the.impala on Threads
I'm married to @foofertheimpala
(i hide things in alt texts that no one reads)
I was vlad.the.impala on Threads
I'm married to @foofertheimpala
(i hide things in alt texts that no one reads)
Pinned
Porn-bots & Incels & crypto advisors
MLM pushers with sharpened incisors
MAGA-fueled fans of Putin & Jinping
These are a few of my blockable things
Frustrated fascists with anti-trans world views
Grifting DMers & Financial Gurus
Drama filled fights & the grief that they bring...
MLM pushers with sharpened incisors
MAGA-fueled fans of Putin & Jinping
These are a few of my blockable things
Frustrated fascists with anti-trans world views
Grifting DMers & Financial Gurus
Drama filled fights & the grief that they bring...
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
November 19, 2025 at 2:00 PM
The weekend's over far too fast
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
November 17, 2025 at 5:57 AM
The weekend's over far too fast
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
As Sunday bids adieu
How come it never seems to last
Although we want it to?
So now I settle into bed
And wish the world the best
Monday rears its ugly head
Thus ruining my rest
Green Card photo, such a breeze
Unless they catch your face mid-sneeze
The picture's mad, I was elated
But it made travel "complicated"
Trying to come back to this nation
Pass through US Immigration
Those guys had no sense of humor
Treated me like I'm a tumor
#vssdaily #prompt for 11/17/24 #photo
Unless they catch your face mid-sneeze
The picture's mad, I was elated
But it made travel "complicated"
Trying to come back to this nation
Pass through US Immigration
Those guys had no sense of humor
Treated me like I'm a tumor
#vssdaily #prompt for 11/17/24 #photo
November 17, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Toss my bottles: scotch and gin
In the glass recycling bin
Though they should be empty first
Fortunately I've quite the thirst
Climate change is such bad news
It turned this eco-fan to booze
But I recycle - I'm a giver
Save the planet, kill your liver
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/16/24 was #bin
In the glass recycling bin
Though they should be empty first
Fortunately I've quite the thirst
Climate change is such bad news
It turned this eco-fan to booze
But I recycle - I'm a giver
Save the planet, kill your liver
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/16/24 was #bin
November 16, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Some like their limericks dirty
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
November 15, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Some like their limericks dirty
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
While others want "cheeky" and "flirty"
Yet more will endeavor
For wordplay that's clever
But I can't write poems that purty
#limerick
Awoken by the dripping
Of the en suite faucet's leak
Its washer's worn and slipping
When you use it there's a squeak
I must really replace it
I sit here, annoyed and yawning
I am going to have to face it
This won't wait until the morning
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/13/24 was #faucet
Of the en suite faucet's leak
Its washer's worn and slipping
When you use it there's a squeak
I must really replace it
I sit here, annoyed and yawning
I am going to have to face it
This won't wait until the morning
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/13/24 was #faucet
November 13, 2025 at 2:11 AM
I felt the spirit lift me
And that feeling grew and grew
The urge began to shift me
As I danced along the pew
The stained glass sun, it moved me
With an energy not solar
And as this thing improved me
I became a holy roller
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/11/125 was #roller
And that feeling grew and grew
The urge began to shift me
As I danced along the pew
The stained glass sun, it moved me
With an energy not solar
And as this thing improved me
I became a holy roller
The #vssdaily #prompt for 11/11/125 was #roller
two men in suits and hats are standing next to each other and one of them says i have seen the light
Alt: Jake in church with Elwood
As they want to do what's right
And, suddenly, the music hits
And Jake has seen the light
media.tenor.com
November 11, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Reposted by Vlad the Impala
I’m giving up searching
for the right words
they’ve been out drinking
with the wrong ones
and come home
without remorse
for the right words
they’ve been out drinking
with the wrong ones
and come home
without remorse
November 9, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I’m giving up searching
for the right words
they’ve been out drinking
with the wrong ones
and come home
without remorse
for the right words
they’ve been out drinking
with the wrong ones
and come home
without remorse
To summon the power of the moon
I start in the late afternoon
The spell that I cast
Well, I'm not very fast
I finish the third week of June
I start in the late afternoon
The spell that I cast
Well, I'm not very fast
I finish the third week of June
November 6, 2025 at 5:05 AM
To summon the power of the moon
I start in the late afternoon
The spell that I cast
Well, I'm not very fast
I finish the third week of June
I start in the late afternoon
The spell that I cast
Well, I'm not very fast
I finish the third week of June
Complete and utter lunacy
Is no more than a craze
You light the night
And guide the tide
While going through a phase
Is no more than a craze
You light the night
And guide the tide
While going through a phase
November 6, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Complete and utter lunacy
Is no more than a craze
You light the night
And guide the tide
While going through a phase
Is no more than a craze
You light the night
And guide the tide
While going through a phase
𝙸 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚢, 𝚍𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝙳𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝙳𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐
November 4, 2025 at 2:09 AM
𝙸 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚢, 𝚍𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝙳𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐
𝙳𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐
Watch me as I take a ride
So round and oh so cute
Affinity for cheese aside
I'm technically a fruit
So round and oh so cute
Affinity for cheese aside
I'm technically a fruit
November 3, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Watch me as I take a ride
So round and oh so cute
Affinity for cheese aside
I'm technically a fruit
So round and oh so cute
Affinity for cheese aside
I'm technically a fruit
Armed and aggressive
Criminal yobbery
Wildly impressive
Pure daylight robbery
Criminal yobbery
Wildly impressive
Pure daylight robbery
October 31, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Armed and aggressive
Criminal yobbery
Wildly impressive
Pure daylight robbery
Criminal yobbery
Wildly impressive
Pure daylight robbery
'Twas the night before Halloween
To my surprise
Promiscuous teens neighbors
Were saying goodbyes
This time tomorrow
They all would be dead
By a knife in the throat
Or an axe to the head
As this was the year
That they'd lost their virginity
Which attracts psycho killers
To their general vicinity
To my surprise
Promiscuous teens neighbors
Were saying goodbyes
This time tomorrow
They all would be dead
By a knife in the throat
Or an axe to the head
As this was the year
That they'd lost their virginity
Which attracts psycho killers
To their general vicinity
October 30, 2025 at 9:00 PM
'Twas the night before Halloween
To my surprise
Promiscuous teens neighbors
Were saying goodbyes
This time tomorrow
They all would be dead
By a knife in the throat
Or an axe to the head
As this was the year
That they'd lost their virginity
Which attracts psycho killers
To their general vicinity
To my surprise
Promiscuous teens neighbors
Were saying goodbyes
This time tomorrow
They all would be dead
By a knife in the throat
Or an axe to the head
As this was the year
That they'd lost their virginity
Which attracts psycho killers
To their general vicinity