Velcro Candied Yams 🍠
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velcrocandy.bsky.social
Velcro Candied Yams 🍠
@velcrocandy.bsky.social
810 followers 270 following 5.2K posts
I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt.

(🔞 Frequently NSFW. Lots of profanity and even more astrology.)
Lake Erie Selkie 🦭🌊
Fortune And Glory
Icon of Sin ⸸
Switchy Witch 🧹
🌒🌕🌘
she/her 🏳️‍⚧️
Posts Replies Media Videos
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Christmas Muppets make me cry
The Christmas Toy A Muppet Christmas Carol Candy with very smeared eyeliner
November 25, 2025 at 2:46 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Magnificent weekend.
🎄🐈‍⬛🪿🐕🦭
@misskaneda.bsky.social @katiyathewitch.bsky.social
My gorgeous girlfriend, Kat My lovely metamour, Valencia My stunning girlfriend, Kylie, snoozing beside me on the sofa My Christmas tree
November 25, 2025 at 1:09 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Rangooning and ranedging.
I know, I know. But four more times and it'll be timeless!
Me with a crab rangoon
November 23, 2025 at 8:37 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
John²
They Might Be Giants
November 22, 2025 at 2:13 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Edward scissorhands and Kim boggs embracing
November 21, 2025 at 10:32 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
hey lil lady 7:47PM Double Tap to Like Whoa! Why is your dick shaped like that?!?! Did you dangle it in front of the anteater at the zoo? Delivered 7:48PM
November 21, 2025 at 12:52 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
We are way to close 2:22PM I can be there in 45 mins 2:23PM I agree 2:23PM There seems to be some confusion. When I say that I agree, I am saying that you are way too close to me. Go away Oh snap
November 20, 2025 at 7:25 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
We love seeing hot girls in dresses

qtp with you being a hot girl in a dress 🔥💃🏻

(I feel like I wear dresses a lot but I'll be damned if I have many pictures.)
The picture of candy in front of the mirror taking a photo of herself wearing a black gown with black mesh sleeves and black stockings held up by garters.
November 19, 2025 at 1:39 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
I've been telling this guy that I'd be over in an hour for weeks. Eventually he blocked me when he figured out I'm never actually coming over.
Today he hit me up from a new account because he is stupid.
I'm starting to feel bad for him.
... Was that his plan?
Frankly, I doubt he has the foresight.
Today If you're horny and you wanna come over, it has some really good fun here it's just me. Here's the address. 7:48AM Sure. I'll be right over 7:50AM Ok 7:50AM What is your ETA until you get here so I can be ready? 7:54AM ? 8:07AM Double Tap to Like (C) [An image of Lucy VanPelt holding a football in front of Charlie Brown reads: "I'll be over in an hour"] Delivered 8:13AM
November 19, 2025 at 1:20 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Sushi and shopping and martinis and video games and wildlife documentaries with my precious Angel, @misskaneda.bsky.social, on our day off together.
She's such an amazing gal. 🥹
Kylie and Candy smiling Kylie playing Ms Pac-Man Candy with a blueberry martini
November 18, 2025 at 2:43 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
We don't carry white diamonds en rouge at my counter anymore. I miss it. Everything I love is taken from me. I have an urge to leave some self-deprecating message on this photo but I know some of my followers read the alt text and don't like when I do that. I appreciate it. You make me feel so loved and valued. It's a good feeling and I'm blessed to have lovely people like you in my life. So why do I feel so lonely? I'm not sure why I'm feeling down on myself today. This week. There's no reason. Depression is a bitch and dysphoria is a fucking bitch.
November 14, 2025 at 3:54 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
EVERYONE ON THIS APP, DROP A SELKIE NOW... AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW!!!
An incredibly offensive and debaucherous photo of candy wearing seal pajamas.
November 13, 2025 at 11:48 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Thorax Thursgay!
I am a caffiend!
A hardcore, offensive, pornographic image of candy drinking coffee in her bra and a pair of tights. This is by far the most filthy thing to ever disgrace the internet and God bless Governor DeWine and blue sky for preventing people from seeing this debauchery.
November 13, 2025 at 3:51 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
face + scent

(These have always brought me luck)
A selfie of Candy laying on a bed A bottle of White Diamonds
November 12, 2025 at 6:13 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Whomever sent this: please know I'm not ignoring you, I just refuse to give BlueSky my ID or NordVPN any money.
My message thingy on BlueSky telling me I have a message but I can't read it because I live in Ohio
November 12, 2025 at 5:53 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Recent doodle and selkie selfie.
I'm sick. Send me words of encouragement/soup/nudes.

Stay hydrated.
Wear sunscreen.
Stay in bed.
Eat tomato soup.
Drink tea.
Watch a comfort movie.

I love you all.
🖤🤍🖤🦭🖤🤍🖤
A drawing of Nervous Nero excited to see Rubber Spider A selfie of Candy standing in the park with her red hair blowing in the wind.
November 11, 2025 at 11:53 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Saints and sinners.
2001 vs 2024
Teenage Candy dressed as a nun 40something Candy dressed as a devil
November 11, 2025 at 11:50 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
I bite her because I love her!
@misskaneda.bsky.social
Candy chomping Kylie's arm on the sofa
November 11, 2025 at 5:20 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Still got it 💅
Thursday is looking good, only catch is I would have to meet you after 7 (hair appointment 12:14AM Reply to "Echoesofem" That's not a problem at all! I am too! Just ne... That's perfect: I work until 6:00! 12:15AM Oooh yay! Sounds good to me! I'm looking forward to it 12:19AM
November 10, 2025 at 6:25 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Let's get things nice and sparkling clear. This sarcasm, if I may call it such does not become you, my little sisters. As I am baby girl, I'm entitled to know what goes on, eh?
My lower half with gams crossed, stripey socks and underpants that read baby girl around the waistband. My St Peter's Cross womb tattoo is also visible I'm laying in my lovely girlfriend's bed
November 10, 2025 at 6:13 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
If you see this, post an egg. 🥚
An MS paint drawing of Mr T as an egg I was an egg when I drew this
November 10, 2025 at 5:47 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
🌭 Cheers
Candy with a veggie dog.
November 10, 2025 at 5:30 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
This is probably the 3rd or 4th time I've told him I can't do a spur of the moment date.
Honestly, no loss if this is our last interaction.
2:02 PM Are you doing anything tonighf? I am. Working until 7:00 and then meeting a girl for a date. Oh ok. Well maybe tomorroe? My schedule fills up quickly. I have a very active social life and several lovers. I really can't do spur of the moment hang outs. I'm really sorry if our first meeting gave you that impression but my dance card gets punched very quickly. Its ok inget it thanks for letting me know.. ill leave you aloke sorry for botheting you snd getting my hopes up Have a good day You're not bothering me but if you want to make plans, we've got to do so in advance. 2:16 PM
November 8, 2025 at 8:50 PM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Gooning 🦀🦭
Candy with a crab rangoon
November 7, 2025 at 12:20 AM
velcrocandy.bsky.social
Also made some kinda ugly pretzels. Tasty though.
A tray of uncooked pretzels Pretzels
November 1, 2025 at 11:20 PM