Yubi - Give a knave an inch, and he'll take an ell
@uzbadyubi.bsky.social
Textile Conservator. TTRPG creator, live-tweeter, they/them trans, ADHD/Tourettes. Views mine. No Nazis, Terfs, Tories. Accessibility NOW! Profilepic @freddeye
A small food interlude to say I WENT TO THE WALMART. I EXPERIENCED THE WALMART. I WAS HUGELY OVERWHELMED BY THE WALMART. I THINK I LOVED THE WALMART. I got so lost in it I couldn’t find the check out. It was the size of 2 1/2 Big Tescos. It was Incredible. 10/10 experience.
September 22, 2025 at 5:07 AM
A small food interlude to say I WENT TO THE WALMART. I EXPERIENCED THE WALMART. I WAS HUGELY OVERWHELMED BY THE WALMART. I THINK I LOVED THE WALMART. I got so lost in it I couldn’t find the check out. It was the size of 2 1/2 Big Tescos. It was Incredible. 10/10 experience.
Now this… this was Fucking Disgusting. I had high hopes, North America. I had dreams. American dreams. And these too crumbled into peanut buttery jelly dust. God these are gross. And no I didn’t eat a frozen one. Foul. Crimes. Heinous. A cruelty. Children love these?!? 0/10.
September 22, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Now this… this was Fucking Disgusting. I had high hopes, North America. I had dreams. American dreams. And these too crumbled into peanut buttery jelly dust. God these are gross. And no I didn’t eat a frozen one. Foul. Crimes. Heinous. A cruelty. Children love these?!? 0/10.
Breakfast yesterday was a stack of banana Nutella pancakes and hoo boy. Y’all are the kings of break-ssert. Desfast. It was so much. It was so sweet. It was so banana and so Nutella and I couldn’t finish it. 10/10.
September 22, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Breakfast yesterday was a stack of banana Nutella pancakes and hoo boy. Y’all are the kings of break-ssert. Desfast. It was so much. It was so sweet. It was so banana and so Nutella and I couldn’t finish it. 10/10.
Now this was a suggestion from a dear reader, and my god, these are GOOD. Well done Canada, applause all round. Crunchy, potato-y, genuinely savoury, but a difficult size to eat. One by one is too slow, but take a big handful and 20-30% of your hickory sticks will be down your top. 9/10.
September 22, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Now this was a suggestion from a dear reader, and my god, these are GOOD. Well done Canada, applause all round. Crunchy, potato-y, genuinely savoury, but a difficult size to eat. One by one is too slow, but take a big handful and 20-30% of your hickory sticks will be down your top. 9/10.
Onto some more snacks, me thinks.
I did not know which flavour was the original, so I went with strawberry.
This was a nightmare of sensation. So sticky as to have melded with the wrapper, so chemically and faux, I managed to somehow get it on like 3 things. This is a Ruiner of Days. 6/10.
I did not know which flavour was the original, so I went with strawberry.
This was a nightmare of sensation. So sticky as to have melded with the wrapper, so chemically and faux, I managed to somehow get it on like 3 things. This is a Ruiner of Days. 6/10.
September 21, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Onto some more snacks, me thinks.
I did not know which flavour was the original, so I went with strawberry.
This was a nightmare of sensation. So sticky as to have melded with the wrapper, so chemically and faux, I managed to somehow get it on like 3 things. This is a Ruiner of Days. 6/10.
I did not know which flavour was the original, so I went with strawberry.
This was a nightmare of sensation. So sticky as to have melded with the wrapper, so chemically and faux, I managed to somehow get it on like 3 things. This is a Ruiner of Days. 6/10.
The buffet option was genuinely bonkers amount of food for $20. My ghast was flabbered, I was shooketh. Alas I have no banana for scale. This was a salad, various veg, two SLABS of beef, another slab of beef but a different cut, some ribs, all slathered in sauce, and a cake. I ended up giving away—
September 21, 2025 at 1:02 AM
The buffet option was genuinely bonkers amount of food for $20. My ghast was flabbered, I was shooketh. Alas I have no banana for scale. This was a salad, various veg, two SLABS of beef, another slab of beef but a different cut, some ribs, all slathered in sauce, and a cake. I ended up giving away—
On my return to Calgary my travel colleague and I decided to go to the casino and have the special bbq buffet option.
The casino was a garish fever dream. We went in with $15 in coins only to discover the machines only took notes, so we sheepishly changed them at the desk. On two machines we —
The casino was a garish fever dream. We went in with $15 in coins only to discover the machines only took notes, so we sheepishly changed them at the desk. On two machines we —
September 21, 2025 at 12:17 AM
On my return to Calgary my travel colleague and I decided to go to the casino and have the special bbq buffet option.
The casino was a garish fever dream. We went in with $15 in coins only to discover the machines only took notes, so we sheepishly changed them at the desk. On two machines we —
The casino was a garish fever dream. We went in with $15 in coins only to discover the machines only took notes, so we sheepishly changed them at the desk. On two machines we —
I was asked by a colleague to bring back Twizzlers, so of course I had to try one. I think I might need to set up a medical intervention for my colleague because this was one of the worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth. Smell of Febreeze. Texture of babybel wax. Taste of Regret and Death. 1/10.
September 21, 2025 at 12:14 AM
I was asked by a colleague to bring back Twizzlers, so of course I had to try one. I think I might need to set up a medical intervention for my colleague because this was one of the worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth. Smell of Febreeze. Texture of babybel wax. Taste of Regret and Death. 1/10.
Now this was a total novelty buy. Eau de Gatorade?!?! Gatorade water?!? Friends, I had to.
It tastes like someone had coconut water in a glass and then didn’t rinse it properly before pouring you some water in it. 8/10. Intriguing. A little lost, perhaps. Very interesting girth and size.
It tastes like someone had coconut water in a glass and then didn’t rinse it properly before pouring you some water in it. 8/10. Intriguing. A little lost, perhaps. Very interesting girth and size.
September 20, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Now this was a total novelty buy. Eau de Gatorade?!?! Gatorade water?!? Friends, I had to.
It tastes like someone had coconut water in a glass and then didn’t rinse it properly before pouring you some water in it. 8/10. Intriguing. A little lost, perhaps. Very interesting girth and size.
It tastes like someone had coconut water in a glass and then didn’t rinse it properly before pouring you some water in it. 8/10. Intriguing. A little lost, perhaps. Very interesting girth and size.
Lunch was with two friends so we went to the only veggie place in Banff, and it was DELISH. Tempura fried broccoli and mushroom pasta. 10/10 for each, no notes, except why the fuck did someone put strawberries on my pasta.
September 20, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Lunch was with two friends so we went to the only veggie place in Banff, and it was DELISH. Tempura fried broccoli and mushroom pasta. 10/10 for each, no notes, except why the fuck did someone put strawberries on my pasta.
Breakfast on Friday morning was again not Unique, but delish. A hot chocolate, a cheese and ham croissant (demolished) and a cinnamon roll.
10/10, 10/10, 9/10 respectively. There was a little too much frosting on the cinnamon roll for my tastes.
10/10, 10/10, 9/10 respectively. There was a little too much frosting on the cinnamon roll for my tastes.
September 20, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Breakfast on Friday morning was again not Unique, but delish. A hot chocolate, a cheese and ham croissant (demolished) and a cinnamon roll.
10/10, 10/10, 9/10 respectively. There was a little too much frosting on the cinnamon roll for my tastes.
10/10, 10/10, 9/10 respectively. There was a little too much frosting on the cinnamon roll for my tastes.
Next was a meal I’m not sure is traditionally Canadian, but was prevalent in Banff.
Fondue! I had one with prime rib and a bunch of veggies. Fondue? More like FUNdue! Nothing funnier than watching your friend fighting for her life with cheesy broccoli while you recount childhood trauma. 10/10.
Fondue! I had one with prime rib and a bunch of veggies. Fondue? More like FUNdue! Nothing funnier than watching your friend fighting for her life with cheesy broccoli while you recount childhood trauma. 10/10.
September 20, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Next was a meal I’m not sure is traditionally Canadian, but was prevalent in Banff.
Fondue! I had one with prime rib and a bunch of veggies. Fondue? More like FUNdue! Nothing funnier than watching your friend fighting for her life with cheesy broccoli while you recount childhood trauma. 10/10.
Fondue! I had one with prime rib and a bunch of veggies. Fondue? More like FUNdue! Nothing funnier than watching your friend fighting for her life with cheesy broccoli while you recount childhood trauma. 10/10.
I was, however, extremely excited to use the TOP LOADER WASHING MACHINE and TIDE DETERGENT!!!
Genuinely exciting moment, washed me clothes good, 10/10.
Genuinely exciting moment, washed me clothes good, 10/10.
September 20, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I was, however, extremely excited to use the TOP LOADER WASHING MACHINE and TIDE DETERGENT!!!
Genuinely exciting moment, washed me clothes good, 10/10.
Genuinely exciting moment, washed me clothes good, 10/10.
I was told I hadn’t had proper Chips Ahoy so with the help of my Puerto Rican friend, she pointed me to her favourite ones.
These were infinitely better than the mini ones. Crumbly without becoming an act of vandalism to the room you’re in, quite sweet, but friends… I’ve had these before. 7/10.
These were infinitely better than the mini ones. Crumbly without becoming an act of vandalism to the room you’re in, quite sweet, but friends… I’ve had these before. 7/10.
September 20, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I was told I hadn’t had proper Chips Ahoy so with the help of my Puerto Rican friend, she pointed me to her favourite ones.
These were infinitely better than the mini ones. Crumbly without becoming an act of vandalism to the room you’re in, quite sweet, but friends… I’ve had these before. 7/10.
These were infinitely better than the mini ones. Crumbly without becoming an act of vandalism to the room you’re in, quite sweet, but friends… I’ve had these before. 7/10.
experiencing the greatness your continent of wonders contains, and I have been at least taking photos. So let’s resume, with a palate cleanser.
Dasani water and KoolAid.
Dasani water and KoolAid.
September 20, 2025 at 6:57 PM
experiencing the greatness your continent of wonders contains, and I have been at least taking photos. So let’s resume, with a palate cleanser.
Dasani water and KoolAid.
Dasani water and KoolAid.
My phone was dying so my server very kindly plugged it in behind the bar, hence my half nommed photos.
The churros were out of this world amazing, we do not do churros like that in the UK. Crispy. Crunchy. Sweet, but perfectly so. Something to ignore your doctor for. 10/10.
The churros were out of this world amazing, we do not do churros like that in the UK. Crispy. Crunchy. Sweet, but perfectly so. Something to ignore your doctor for. 10/10.
September 16, 2025 at 9:37 PM
My phone was dying so my server very kindly plugged it in behind the bar, hence my half nommed photos.
The churros were out of this world amazing, we do not do churros like that in the UK. Crispy. Crunchy. Sweet, but perfectly so. Something to ignore your doctor for. 10/10.
The churros were out of this world amazing, we do not do churros like that in the UK. Crispy. Crunchy. Sweet, but perfectly so. Something to ignore your doctor for. 10/10.
Lunch today was a Banff Original, so I went to try poutine again - but not just any poutine, elk poutine!
Gamey. Cheesy. Perfect fries. Rich gravy that sings the songs of the north of the uk. A hearty meal, flavours that my Scottish blood knows well. Delicious. 9/10.
Gamey. Cheesy. Perfect fries. Rich gravy that sings the songs of the north of the uk. A hearty meal, flavours that my Scottish blood knows well. Delicious. 9/10.
September 16, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Lunch today was a Banff Original, so I went to try poutine again - but not just any poutine, elk poutine!
Gamey. Cheesy. Perfect fries. Rich gravy that sings the songs of the north of the uk. A hearty meal, flavours that my Scottish blood knows well. Delicious. 9/10.
Gamey. Cheesy. Perfect fries. Rich gravy that sings the songs of the north of the uk. A hearty meal, flavours that my Scottish blood knows well. Delicious. 9/10.
And my final try for the morning… these two icons.
The Butterfinger was b-utterly bizarre. That combination of taste and texture does not exist in the uk. I don’t know if I like it. I had a bite, put it down, and went for another. Regretted both, but felt compelled. Haunting. 7/10.
The Butterfinger was b-utterly bizarre. That combination of taste and texture does not exist in the uk. I don’t know if I like it. I had a bite, put it down, and went for another. Regretted both, but felt compelled. Haunting. 7/10.
September 16, 2025 at 6:46 PM
And my final try for the morning… these two icons.
The Butterfinger was b-utterly bizarre. That combination of taste and texture does not exist in the uk. I don’t know if I like it. I had a bite, put it down, and went for another. Regretted both, but felt compelled. Haunting. 7/10.
The Butterfinger was b-utterly bizarre. That combination of taste and texture does not exist in the uk. I don’t know if I like it. I had a bite, put it down, and went for another. Regretted both, but felt compelled. Haunting. 7/10.
This morning was a double whammy of breakfast snacks and a real breakfast at the hotel.
First: Applesauce. In the UK applesauce is something you sometimes put on roast pork. I was not expecting to like it, and friends, I did not. It was gritty and babyfoody and UGH. -10/10, save the babies.
First: Applesauce. In the UK applesauce is something you sometimes put on roast pork. I was not expecting to like it, and friends, I did not. It was gritty and babyfoody and UGH. -10/10, save the babies.
September 16, 2025 at 6:41 PM
This morning was a double whammy of breakfast snacks and a real breakfast at the hotel.
First: Applesauce. In the UK applesauce is something you sometimes put on roast pork. I was not expecting to like it, and friends, I did not. It was gritty and babyfoody and UGH. -10/10, save the babies.
First: Applesauce. In the UK applesauce is something you sometimes put on roast pork. I was not expecting to like it, and friends, I did not. It was gritty and babyfoody and UGH. -10/10, save the babies.
Also everyone please clap I may have eaten 20,000 calories of sugar yesterday but I also walked 20,000 steps and that’s not even including the gym!!!
September 16, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Also everyone please clap I may have eaten 20,000 calories of sugar yesterday but I also walked 20,000 steps and that’s not even including the gym!!!
And now the culinary highlight of the day…
WELCOME TO CHILI’S!
Dearest readers, I was SO pumped. Tex mex food in the UK is universally known to be Shit. This was tragically the best tex mex I’ve ever had. I got the sizzling fajitas and it was SO GOOD. AND HUGE. Also I asked for more fajitas and-
WELCOME TO CHILI’S!
Dearest readers, I was SO pumped. Tex mex food in the UK is universally known to be Shit. This was tragically the best tex mex I’ve ever had. I got the sizzling fajitas and it was SO GOOD. AND HUGE. Also I asked for more fajitas and-
September 16, 2025 at 6:32 PM
And now the culinary highlight of the day…
WELCOME TO CHILI’S!
Dearest readers, I was SO pumped. Tex mex food in the UK is universally known to be Shit. This was tragically the best tex mex I’ve ever had. I got the sizzling fajitas and it was SO GOOD. AND HUGE. Also I asked for more fajitas and-
WELCOME TO CHILI’S!
Dearest readers, I was SO pumped. Tex mex food in the UK is universally known to be Shit. This was tragically the best tex mex I’ve ever had. I got the sizzling fajitas and it was SO GOOD. AND HUGE. Also I asked for more fajitas and-
After a wander down the rivers I paused to have perhaps the world’s most scenic Snapple.
This was Totally Fine. Much sweeter than UK iced tea equivalents, but it was good. 8/10.
This was Totally Fine. Much sweeter than UK iced tea equivalents, but it was good. 8/10.
September 16, 2025 at 6:29 PM
After a wander down the rivers I paused to have perhaps the world’s most scenic Snapple.
This was Totally Fine. Much sweeter than UK iced tea equivalents, but it was good. 8/10.
This was Totally Fine. Much sweeter than UK iced tea equivalents, but it was good. 8/10.
My next great Canadian adventure: the Old Spaghetti Factory. What a name. What an experience. I went with the clam chowder, salad, chicken Alfredo, and a brown butter spaghetti. (Yes, this was So Much Too Much, but leftovers are a thing, and I have a mini fridge!)
September 16, 2025 at 6:24 PM
My next great Canadian adventure: the Old Spaghetti Factory. What a name. What an experience. I went with the clam chowder, salad, chicken Alfredo, and a brown butter spaghetti. (Yes, this was So Much Too Much, but leftovers are a thing, and I have a mini fridge!)
Timbits #5
What the hell is this?? There’s bits in it!!! Not too much of a mouth surprise but I’m not super sold on it. Very fake sweet, very cakey texture. 5/10.
Alright. The timbits are done, the remaining duplicates are going in my bag to be shared later. The muffin must wait, I am so full.
What the hell is this?? There’s bits in it!!! Not too much of a mouth surprise but I’m not super sold on it. Very fake sweet, very cakey texture. 5/10.
Alright. The timbits are done, the remaining duplicates are going in my bag to be shared later. The muffin must wait, I am so full.
September 15, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Timbits #5
What the hell is this?? There’s bits in it!!! Not too much of a mouth surprise but I’m not super sold on it. Very fake sweet, very cakey texture. 5/10.
Alright. The timbits are done, the remaining duplicates are going in my bag to be shared later. The muffin must wait, I am so full.
What the hell is this?? There’s bits in it!!! Not too much of a mouth surprise but I’m not super sold on it. Very fake sweet, very cakey texture. 5/10.
Alright. The timbits are done, the remaining duplicates are going in my bag to be shared later. The muffin must wait, I am so full.
Timbits #4
SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT, SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT!!!
This one has an inner wet!!!! That was not pleasant! It’s too sweet for me, some sort of fruit something with a filling. 3/10.
SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT, SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT!!!
This one has an inner wet!!!! That was not pleasant! It’s too sweet for me, some sort of fruit something with a filling. 3/10.
September 15, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Timbits #4
SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT, SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT!!!
This one has an inner wet!!!! That was not pleasant! It’s too sweet for me, some sort of fruit something with a filling. 3/10.
SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT, SURPRISE IN MY MOUTH ALERT!!!
This one has an inner wet!!!! That was not pleasant! It’s too sweet for me, some sort of fruit something with a filling. 3/10.