mulch mouth
@universalanguish.bsky.social
termite in a concrete jungle
Yelling at the blind date that my friend arranged: NO, HE MEANT TO SAY I WORK AT THE MUSEUM OF HOLLERANCE
(I’m yelling because I think she’s blind)
(I’m yelling because I think she’s blind)
October 29, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Yelling at the blind date that my friend arranged: NO, HE MEANT TO SAY I WORK AT THE MUSEUM OF HOLLERANCE
(I’m yelling because I think she’s blind)
(I’m yelling because I think she’s blind)
Everyone is complaining about the state of the country but I just watched a YouTube video on my cherry coke vape so
September 8, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Everyone is complaining about the state of the country but I just watched a YouTube video on my cherry coke vape so
*pulling the barrel of a cop’s gun towards my mouth*
hey brother can I get a hit off that thing?
hey brother can I get a hit off that thing?
September 8, 2025 at 11:06 PM
*pulling the barrel of a cop’s gun towards my mouth*
hey brother can I get a hit off that thing?
hey brother can I get a hit off that thing?
Reposted by mulch mouth
this dog has no idea that this lake is called titicaca. beautiful
July 26, 2025 at 5:04 AM
this dog has no idea that this lake is called titicaca. beautiful
Donald Trump is calling the Epstein files a Democrat hoax??? That’s so Gemini of him
July 16, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Donald Trump is calling the Epstein files a Democrat hoax??? That’s so Gemini of him
Reposted by mulch mouth
Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself
Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself
WASHINGTON—Lighting up his phone night and day with their cruel taunts, a group of teenage girls reportedly convinced Vice President JD Vance to kill himself Tuesday. “Everyone I know thinks you’re so...
theonion.com
July 15, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself
Reposted by mulch mouth
every time i meet someone older than me who’s more successful i’m like “okay, well they’re older than me.” every time i meet someone younger and more successful i’m like “their dad must be the mayor”
June 6, 2025 at 2:59 PM
every time i meet someone older than me who’s more successful i’m like “okay, well they’re older than me.” every time i meet someone younger and more successful i’m like “their dad must be the mayor”
Americans will be like “proud to be from the heartland” and it’s a flyover state you wouldn’t be fucking caught dead in
May 27, 2025 at 3:09 PM
Americans will be like “proud to be from the heartland” and it’s a flyover state you wouldn’t be fucking caught dead in
May 20, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Every day a child is poisoned by their parents who were poisoned by their parents who thought they were rebelling against “the man” by listening to the fucking Eagles
May 16, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Every day a child is poisoned by their parents who were poisoned by their parents who thought they were rebelling against “the man” by listening to the fucking Eagles
T-shirt idea:
I went to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and all I got was
*Calvin pissing on The Gipper’s grave*
I went to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and all I got was
*Calvin pissing on The Gipper’s grave*
April 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
T-shirt idea:
I went to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and all I got was
*Calvin pissing on The Gipper’s grave*
I went to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and all I got was
*Calvin pissing on The Gipper’s grave*
O’Shea Hotani
A baseball rapper or something I don’t fucking know
A baseball rapper or something I don’t fucking know
April 25, 2025 at 12:41 AM
O’Shea Hotani
A baseball rapper or something I don’t fucking know
A baseball rapper or something I don’t fucking know
I’m just gonna come right out and say it:
I personally don’t agree with a lot of the stuff that’s going on around here right now and I think that it stinks
I personally don’t agree with a lot of the stuff that’s going on around here right now and I think that it stinks
April 22, 2025 at 4:37 PM
I’m just gonna come right out and say it:
I personally don’t agree with a lot of the stuff that’s going on around here right now and I think that it stinks
I personally don’t agree with a lot of the stuff that’s going on around here right now and I think that it stinks
I need the dodgers to trade Andy Pages for like… rocks on the dollar. The experiment is over. I don’t fucking care how many video games he plays.
April 9, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I need the dodgers to trade Andy Pages for like… rocks on the dollar. The experiment is over. I don’t fucking care how many video games he plays.
If you ever need a lil pep in your step, the next time anyone says anything to you, thank them for pronouncing it correctly
April 8, 2025 at 11:40 PM
If you ever need a lil pep in your step, the next time anyone says anything to you, thank them for pronouncing it correctly
23andMe came into my house and mixed my DNA with a dire wolf and now they’re blackmailing my entire family into howling for sport
April 8, 2025 at 4:37 AM
23andMe came into my house and mixed my DNA with a dire wolf and now they’re blackmailing my entire family into howling for sport
Reposted by mulch mouth
i miss the early internet. people were like “you gotta see this dude. this cat sure is long.” and they were right. it was really long. it never shoulda gotten any more complicated than that.
April 4, 2025 at 9:10 PM
i miss the early internet. people were like “you gotta see this dude. this cat sure is long.” and they were right. it was really long. it never shoulda gotten any more complicated than that.
Reposted by mulch mouth
there are two types of male groupchats. they either have a name like “BONER BOYS RES[ERECT]ED: HORNY 4 LIFE, 2 CAKED UP 2 DIE” but everyone’s just encouraging each other on breakups and to try therapy. the other will be named something like “gary chat” and filled with domestic terrorists
January 10, 2025 at 6:14 PM
there are two types of male groupchats. they either have a name like “BONER BOYS RES[ERECT]ED: HORNY 4 LIFE, 2 CAKED UP 2 DIE” but everyone’s just encouraging each other on breakups and to try therapy. the other will be named something like “gary chat” and filled with domestic terrorists
Winston Schmidt would be on the wrong side of the Israel Palestine conflict btw
March 17, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Winston Schmidt would be on the wrong side of the Israel Palestine conflict btw
A t-shirt that says “it ain’t gonna Zuck itself!” with a picture of a micropenis
March 14, 2025 at 4:42 AM
A t-shirt that says “it ain’t gonna Zuck itself!” with a picture of a micropenis
Reposted by mulch mouth
ok sorry . my lawyer has advised me to say that drinking israeli diarrhea is good actually no matter how many kindergartners they murked
March 13, 2025 at 9:45 PM
ok sorry . my lawyer has advised me to say that drinking israeli diarrhea is good actually no matter how many kindergartners they murked
I think I’m ready to be funny.
March 11, 2025 at 11:00 PM
I think I’m ready to be funny.