Sen. Lemon Gogurt
LightNews LightNews
ugarles.bsky.social
Sen. Lemon Gogurt
@ugarles.bsky.social
47K followers 570 following 17K posts
dumb laws deserve my thoughts on them
https://linktr.ee/ugarles

i will do your podcast
ALABSeries.com with @helldude.bsky.social @wyattprivilege.bsky.social & @garliccorgi.bsky.social
City Saint/Country Saint with @lronmexico.bsky.social
Posts Replies Media Videos
ugarles.bsky.social
no rush
$53 donation to CHiPS
November 14, 2025 at 9:34 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
these are the same post
@cyberbadboy.com: this Frankenstein movie long as fuck.... they should've made more stuff happen in it @seanthomason.bsky.social: Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein is cool but I think what the movie needed was a ghost lil guy. Something classy, like a smartmouth goblin who lives behind his ear. The goblin is also a DJ.
November 14, 2025 at 5:29 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
"So, like, did I get in or not?"
coda to an email: "This message was generated by [REDACTED] University with the help of AI. Sometimes our AI will provide inaccurate content and should not be used as the sole basis for decision-making. Always validate it's responses worth further research and discussion with our team."
November 13, 2025 at 4:20 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
crying that googling her name immediately turns up getty photos of her with both trump and epstein and the trump photo is three years after the one with epstein
celina midelfart with trump in 1998 at a formal event celina midelfart with epstein in 1995 in more casual attire but still a getty photo
November 12, 2025 at 8:40 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
damn google really does know everything first. i didn't even realize we were having problems.
GOOGLE Upcoming changes to carrie's role in your family group
November 11, 2025 at 8:19 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
fine i'll do one
Zohran text generator: Pro Forma
November 9, 2025 at 5:59 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
you'd think this would be a great place to meet someone but so far it really is not
WOMEN sign at Tropicana
November 8, 2025 at 4:56 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
credit to @brandyjensen.bsky.social for the OG
Brandy, in 2016 on Twitter: "RIP my Mentions" - me, gravely, as they lower the casket of my husband, Jonathan Mentions
November 6, 2025 at 8:42 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
Art print of Costanza shoving people out of the way to escape a fire at a kid's party You can buy this from the artist at https://www.etsy.com/listing/661444783/fire-george-costanza-from-seinfeld-art
November 6, 2025 at 6:25 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
preview for "10 hours of jingling keys" YouTube video
November 6, 2025 at 4:05 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
ROLL CREDITS
‪Michael bsky post from yesterday: foster company wants to move lambo to a sister agency in connecticut and I was like sure that'd be great for him and now I'm having an emotional breakdown Me, in reply: the movie of this (happy version) ends a very specific way michael
November 5, 2025 at 8:10 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
on this week's city saint / country saint charles and @lronmexico.bsky.social agree: i want too die
Adam Schefter on Twitter: Trade compensation: seahawks are sending 2026 fourth and fifth round picks to the Saints in exchange for WR Rashid Shaheed.
November 4, 2025 at 6:18 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
Beavis "We're never gonna score!"
November 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
Edit of 2022 @picardie_aurora tweet about Biden learning that Queen Elizabeth died chief of staff: Mr. Mamdani. very sad news. Dick Cheney has died. Mamdani: [munching a spoonful of ghee]" hot damn. we do that? in the original Biden was munching "a block of Kerrygold butter"
November 4, 2025 at 4:32 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
in the middle of the game i texted @lronmexico.bsky.social "AK is washed" and it hurt so much
Samuel L. Jackson after shooting Robert De Niro in Jackie Brown "You used to be beautiful."
November 3, 2025 at 3:00 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
flyering for @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social a legal distance from the brooklyn college early voting site with @monkeywire.bsky.social
Zohran for Mayor handbill. Amato, my hand. Dry skin. Sorry.
November 2, 2025 at 6:29 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
Forewarned. Baby shoe. Never step.
a photo of a tree outside of brooklyn college with a single new baby shoe hanging from a naked branch
November 2, 2025 at 6:22 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
salute
Asian man in military dress uniform with a ton of medals and ribbons, saluting. Nametag: "Hello my name is TSO". He is holding a stuffed chicken, also maybe in military dress but maybe just black "feathers" on its body.
November 2, 2025 at 4:20 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
it really is fun
you are a dinosaur. at least be funny once while giving your opinion of every woman who happens to cross your path. I thought i gave you a break about getting horny over a black and white photo that you looked at with a jeweler's loupe until you felt a shift. you think you're cool as a feminist because you support progressive policy but god damn if you have to act normal around women just once you freak out. I'm sure it will all be in your brief. Many of us have read more than one book and taken more than one sophomore class. The twin idiocies of the thesis and antithesis of the last hundred years, split neatly into 50-year slices, are caving into the next synthesis, which neither of us will understand or accept. That's good. It's why we die. You aren't the end of history. You're a mildly clever, highly rewarded boy who, thinking he has The Golden Key, is now feverishly with furrowed brow of rebuke explaining it to somebody who was present when your script was written. That is embarrassing for one of us, you are right about that. Another knight riding to the rescue. The original problem, set on its head. Since you missed the memo, it wasn't about sniveling crouching anti-crudity, it was about equal expressive agency! And you, supposedly a comedian, don't even sniff the irony? Not auspicious for the career. Also. 3 was cute. Very, very cute. Seizure pills in the top cabinet behind the vial marked "Bergeron, Harrison." Now be joyful, motherfucker, we won and just for you nobody said "tits" for a full five minutes. you think it's because you're crude but it's because you're crude without sniffing clever. I've laughed at more offensive things than you could possibly imagine. I've told more superficially offensive jokes than you would attempt. there's no payoff to you constantly indulging your id because every single time *the whole joke* is the transgression. your rationale for constantly yammering about ugly coeds and Asian engineers and wolf-whistling because you lack any internal social regulator is nonsense no matter how many better writers you quote without comprehension.
November 2, 2025 at 5:22 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
132 quotes
OP metrics: 4 reposts 131 quotes 43 likes
November 1, 2025 at 2:59 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
Chapter 1: Clyde
Chapter 2: Thomas Alva Edison
The cover of a book titled "Great Apes & Humans". The cover is illustrated with a black and white photo of an alpha orangutan with the puffed up facial flanges. The unseen subtitle of the book is "The Ethics of Coexistence"
October 31, 2025 at 2:45 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
throwback to 2011(?) when @monkeywire.bsky.social, the kid and i went to Prospect Park for the Halloween events as a gorilla family
Me and my wife in full-body gorilla suits in Prospect Park. I am holding my ~3 y.o. son, whose mask does not cover his face or shoes but is otherwise in a gorilla suit as well.
October 31, 2025 at 6:19 AM
ugarles.bsky.social
ridiculous story but i can't get past this name
none of the text matters - just read the story - except for the name Christina Corpus
October 30, 2025 at 7:34 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
i thought the joke in the grey poupon commercials was obvious but then again i'm not an economic conservative ("racist")
Redacted bluecheck on Twitter: "I mean, come on. [rofl emojis]" Image of Amazon listing for 10oz Grey Poupon Squeeze Bottle for $3.88 The fact that it is SNAP EBT eligible is highlighted for effect by OP
October 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
ugarles.bsky.social
frog squeeze toy with the eyes popping out
October 30, 2025 at 3:53 PM