I have no beef with HRT! Just the menopause influencers. My lovely children and their leaping braincells have been waking us up 3-8 times per night for the last few months, so who knows what my sleep pattern actually looks like.

I just think Big Hormone is really taking advantage of the advancing average age of parturition in the western world. Yeah maybe you're in perimenopause™️ but it's just as likely that your small children are just sucking your soul out of your body 24/7 and you'll never know the difference.

2yo is currently "napping" but actually shouting "YOU GOT A FRIEND IN ME" from toy story like it's a military cadence. So maybe he's not as tired as thought.

Btw when we saw the second eagle, we couldn't even get W to look. He said "I already saw one today." Like, excuse your short life experience, but I have seen about 5 bald eagles in my entire life prior to today. Look at the fucking sky for 2 seconds.

My spouse couldn’t help me bc the only way to keep my 5yo from having a meltdown was to let him use my spouse’s body as a trampoline. Did anyone express care? No it was universally implied that we are ungrateful and unable to appreciate the moment, which is 100% projection from their own parenting.

This was said to me after my 2yo punched me in the eye 3 times, hit me in the head with a metal toy, pulled out a chunk of my hair, and bit me through my clothing hard enough to leave tooth marks within the 15 min span of a zoom call.

I love the phase of 2 year olds where they are capable of weaponizing what you said word for word even if they have zero idea what it means. It has brought us so much joy with classics like "no look cute in blue jeans!" which I say to myself every time I put on blue jeans.

I take it all back, this morning we listened to MMMBop on the way to daycare (part of my initiative to get these kids to form a brother rock group one day) and in the backseat I heard that little angel singing along with the chorus. Millennial parenting goals.

I mean obviously I love him and he's wonderful but consider this: on approximately 200 nights of the current calendar year he has woken up screaming inconsolably within 30 seconds of me falling asleep. I don't know how he knows but he knows. It is a CIA-level mindfuck.