Ttownbeast
@ttownbeast.bsky.social
Malthusian, Deist, centrist, polymath, artist, soulless ginger. I know what you’re thinking and you are probably wrong about me already.
Pinned
I might have cussed out a convenience store clerk today, but I am getting real fucking tired of club cards every place, and real tired of being asked if I want to sign up for more rewards cards, fuck the cards,
January 22, 2026 at 4:38 AM
I might have cussed out a convenience store clerk today, but I am getting real fucking tired of club cards every place, and real tired of being asked if I want to sign up for more rewards cards, fuck the cards,
Today I was listening to The Men’s Room on KISW fm and they were talking about sticking a frozen frog up one’s ass. And here’s a fun scientific fact for you kids. A frozen frog isn’t a dead frog, that’s how they hibernate. So when that frog thaws out it is going to be surprised!
January 22, 2026 at 4:06 AM
Today I was listening to The Men’s Room on KISW fm and they were talking about sticking a frozen frog up one’s ass. And here’s a fun scientific fact for you kids. A frozen frog isn’t a dead frog, that’s how they hibernate. So when that frog thaws out it is going to be surprised!
My daddy’s name was Donald but that Donald that kept yapping today ain’t my daddy
January 22, 2026 at 2:34 AM
My daddy’s name was Donald but that Donald that kept yapping today ain’t my daddy
If suddenly an alien race came and hit humanity with a ray that instantly matched everyone in history and now with thier soul mate and put them together. How many of you think that you’d still be with the person you are already with?
January 22, 2026 at 2:12 AM
If suddenly an alien race came and hit humanity with a ray that instantly matched everyone in history and now with thier soul mate and put them together. How many of you think that you’d still be with the person you are already with?
The world hasn’t figured out biological racism yet and folks are skipping ahead in the textbook. What if this is the thing that brings us together by hating something else though? What if robots started claiming thier service is slavery? What if we took robots from thier homeland to harvest
January 21, 2026 at 9:13 PM
The world hasn’t figured out biological racism yet and folks are skipping ahead in the textbook. What if this is the thing that brings us together by hating something else though? What if robots started claiming thier service is slavery? What if we took robots from thier homeland to harvest
No one is calling Trump DADDY!
January 21, 2026 at 6:11 PM
No one is calling Trump DADDY!
Im watching the stock market ticker having a fucking fit like an arrythmic heart beat every time Trump says something stupid.
January 20, 2026 at 7:09 PM
Im watching the stock market ticker having a fucking fit like an arrythmic heart beat every time Trump says something stupid.
What kinda fucked up unhinged shit was that presidential address today?
January 20, 2026 at 6:58 PM
What kinda fucked up unhinged shit was that presidential address today?
There is likely some bitch who tried twerking on a nerds lap in highschool history class to make her boyfriend on the wrestling team jealous but shouted down any man who had thier own #metoo story, fuck that bitch.
January 20, 2026 at 6:56 PM
There is likely some bitch who tried twerking on a nerds lap in highschool history class to make her boyfriend on the wrestling team jealous but shouted down any man who had thier own #metoo story, fuck that bitch.
Asking for help at a home for recovering addicts then burning and stabbing people sounds about right for Tacoma. www.king5.com/article/news...
1 in custody, 3 hospitalized after stabbing, fire at Tacoma residence
Officers responding to the reports of a stabbing found a possible fire at the residence.
www.king5.com
January 20, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Asking for help at a home for recovering addicts then burning and stabbing people sounds about right for Tacoma. www.king5.com/article/news...
Fun fact Candymans working title was Nightmare on Martinn Luther King Street
January 20, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Fun fact Candymans working title was Nightmare on Martinn Luther King Street
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were supposed to be triplets but Kate murdered Mary in the womb and consumed her. So her parents put Mary’s name in front of Kate’s name to remind her that she’s a natural pre born killer.
January 20, 2026 at 10:34 AM
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were supposed to be triplets but Kate murdered Mary in the womb and consumed her. So her parents put Mary’s name in front of Kate’s name to remind her that she’s a natural pre born killer.
Don’t go and tell me you’re homeless and broke when you just pimped your shopping cart with spinning rims and XM radio.
January 20, 2026 at 10:25 AM
Don’t go and tell me you’re homeless and broke when you just pimped your shopping cart with spinning rims and XM radio.
Someday history books are going to talk about Congress passing that bill to prevent the president from going within 500 miles of Greenland like it was a restraining order in a stalking case.
January 20, 2026 at 10:11 AM
Someday history books are going to talk about Congress passing that bill to prevent the president from going within 500 miles of Greenland like it was a restraining order in a stalking case.
It’s not like kids hate fire department stuff so kids love to see them but the kids should have heard some alarm bells going off when he asked if they wanted to slide down his pole.
www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news...
www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news...
WA fire chief charged with 37 counts of child sexual abuse
Police believe the man molested and or raped four boys at his home while babysitting them between 2013 and 2019, according to court documents.
www.seattletimes.com
January 20, 2026 at 9:48 AM
It’s not like kids hate fire department stuff so kids love to see them but the kids should have heard some alarm bells going off when he asked if they wanted to slide down his pole.
www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news...
www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news...
My mom was from Bremerton and met a navy sailor from Kentucky whose first wife was from Oregon I have 3 siblings born at TG I was born in Kentucky but my family drove back here when I was 2 months old through midwestern lightning storms
January 20, 2026 at 6:46 AM
My mom was from Bremerton and met a navy sailor from Kentucky whose first wife was from Oregon I have 3 siblings born at TG I was born in Kentucky but my family drove back here when I was 2 months old through midwestern lightning storms
There are at least three McDonald’s between Seattle and Tacoma like this because Washington state doesn’t have enough waffle houses to be the lightning rods American society needs! people.com/seattle-mcdo...
Seattle McDonald's Nicknamed 'McStabby's' Removes Door and Serves Customers Through a Hatch amid Multiple Attacks
A McDonald's in Seattle nicknamed 'McStabby's' has removed its door and now serves customers through a hatch amid a series of attacks.
people.com
January 20, 2026 at 6:09 AM
There are at least three McDonald’s between Seattle and Tacoma like this because Washington state doesn’t have enough waffle houses to be the lightning rods American society needs! people.com/seattle-mcdo...
I am a part of the sex in a tent club. Her name was Diane I think, she was probably 10 years older than me, public camp grounds, she just got out of jail, we fucked the shit out of eachother the second night we knew each other. The Washington state peninsula has some great camping. 
January 20, 2026 at 4:33 AM
I am a part of the sex in a tent club. Her name was Diane I think, she was probably 10 years older than me, public camp grounds, she just got out of jail, we fucked the shit out of eachother the second night we knew each other. The Washington state peninsula has some great camping. 
Whatever makes you think you are special, I believe you. But fuck off please.
January 20, 2026 at 3:29 AM
Whatever makes you think you are special, I believe you. But fuck off please.
My generation said things growing up like,”Get the fuck off my car hood you fat bitch! This isn’t a white snake video!!!!” I noticed millennials were a little different the first time I read one state,”I will fuck you with a rake!!!!” I was both impressed and mortified by such an elegantly
January 20, 2026 at 3:00 AM
My generation said things growing up like,”Get the fuck off my car hood you fat bitch! This isn’t a white snake video!!!!” I noticed millennials were a little different the first time I read one state,”I will fuck you with a rake!!!!” I was both impressed and mortified by such an elegantly
What was the first sound made by the first creature to notice the moon thoughtfully. That’s the moon’s ancient name.
January 19, 2026 at 2:49 AM
What was the first sound made by the first creature to notice the moon thoughtfully. That’s the moon’s ancient name.
I’m very picky about those I allow in my circle of friends so show me a video of how you peel a banana to prove you’re worthy
January 19, 2026 at 2:26 AM
I’m very picky about those I allow in my circle of friends so show me a video of how you peel a banana to prove you’re worthy
Duckman is timeless
January 19, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Duckman is timeless
The dude who invents 4k bedsheets with WiFi and Bluetooth is going to make trillions of dollars off of perverts watching videos on Pornhub imagining they are part of the video.
January 19, 2026 at 12:48 AM
The dude who invents 4k bedsheets with WiFi and Bluetooth is going to make trillions of dollars off of perverts watching videos on Pornhub imagining they are part of the video.